Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Picard's Official Review (Part Two)

I'm walking the grounds of Starfleet Headquarters with Beverly and Seven of Nine.

Two days ago, I had to be interviewed for an Official Report by Admiral Bullock. He was most critical of how much it costs to run the Enterprise, as it is attacked by alien hordes, and also some of the strange people I have as senior staff. Bullock said he would write his Report and let me know.

It could mean that I'm put out to pasture!


"Don't be so concerned, Jean-Luc." Bev tells me, "One look at your record will be enough to say what a valuable asset you are to Starfleet. They can't afford to let someone like you go."

"I think this Bullock is the problem, Beverly." I say, "He doesn't like me, and clearly thinks that Starfleet should be run by younger men, with dynamic Captains who shoot first and ask questions later."

"That's how it was in the 23rd Century." she reminds me, "Fortunately we are more civilised now."

"If you want to, Locutus." adds Seven, "I could assimilate this Bullock human for you."

"No Seven!" I answer hastily, "We can't solve all our problems by just assimilating everyone who we don't like the look of."

"Why not?" replies Seven, "The Borg do. Only we assimilate those we DO like the look of as well."

Sometimes I think Seven has a dry sense of humour or she is deadly serious. I'm not sure when she is using either.

Ensign Britney approaches us with T'Pol. Seven tells them about Bullock and his Review. Britney laughs.

"Is China Shop still here?" Britney laughs, "All the Cadets used to call him that, as in Bullock In A China Shop. I'm surprised he hasn't been fired yet."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, the Admirals used to keep it very hush-hush." she confides, "They don't like any of their own involved in scandal."

All of us crowd round, eager to hear more from Britney.

"I don't want to go into too much details." she says, "But it involved a female Admiral as well as Bullock, plus a banned holodeck program called Daisy Goes To The Doctors. Starfleet thought it best to whitewash the event rather than throw the two of them out. Still, us Cadets at the time have ways of finding things out."

The rest of us look stunned. A lieutenant approaches me to say that Admiral Bullock wants to see me.

I enter his office, casually whistling.

"What's that you are whistling, Picard?" Bullock asks, "Don't you know this is serious?"

"Certainly, sir." I reply, "I was just whistling Daisy, Daisy. Do you know that song?"

Bullock looks a little uneasy, "Well yes."

"It's a favourite name of mine, so cheery" I say, "Does it mean anything to you?"

"Of course not!" he snaps back, "Now this Official Review..."

"I have DOCTOR Crusher outside, sir." I tell him, "Have you met the DOCTOR?"

Bullock grimaces and nods, "I get the point, Captain Picard. Despite a poor Review, I've decided that you should stay with us in view of your exemplary record."

"Thank you sir." I answer, and leave with a smile, rejoining the others.

"That's great." Bev tells me.

"Yes it is." I say, "And the next time Ensign Britney is due to go in the brig, we'll let her off."


The Curmudgeon said...

Britney saves the day? I never would have believed it.....

Well played, sir.

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Linda said...

Nice to see that Ensign Brit has finally made herself useful and that was so much nicer than assimilating Admiral Bullock! Though I think next time you should let Seven of Nine have a go at him!

Amanda said...

How will Captain Picard ever thank Britney enough?

The Real Mother Hen said...

Goodness Gracious! A person who wears a piece of clothe smaller than my handkerchief could save the day?

Man, I need to go cut my handkerchief now!

WW said...

Dear Jean Luc,

You can come hang out in my pasture anytime, if you get put out that is!


vargas said...

I wish that trick could have worked with some of the wicked supervisors I've had in the past!

Good to know you'll be back manning the Enterprise, Picard!

Anonymous said...

... "plus a banned holodeck program called Daisy Goes To The Doctors."


Yay Brittney!

Merlyn Gabriel said...

well done Brittney.
Always good to have black sheep around, they are generally the ones who know all the dirt everyone else wants to cover up.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Yay! Ensign Britney saves the day!


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Sometimes one can get help from unlikely sources!

rashbre said...

I just knew that Britney would save the day. And why am I not surprised she knows about that holodeck program?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Here's to many more great performance reviews.

Or at least reviews that you can walk out of unscathed.

Michael Manning said...

So hard to imagine cost-cutting has arrived at the door of The Enterprise. I stand ready to write you a letter of commendation, what wit all of the cat fights you've had to solve! And that ever bald Ensign Britney!! How DO you hold up to such stress? ;)

Titania Starlight said...

Britney saves the day! That was so nice of her. It looks likes she has some good qualities after all.

TX said...

let 7 assimilate him

SHI said...

I know she save the day but do you really want to let her off next time?

maybe instead give her a big box of gum

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Shi, you might have the right answer there!

Livingsword said...

Always surrounding yourself with the females eh Captain….

Bullock seems overly concerned with finance for Starfleet….makes one wonder if he really who he claims to be…perhaps a sleeper agent for invasion preparation of some Star Empire….?

Well Ensign Britney seems to be preparing with her “disguise” for a timeline operation to Vegas 2008….


Seven always has a wonderful sense of humor!

Nice bit of application of strategy upon the supplied information. Perhaps a little more subtle than Kirk would have been but just as effective!