Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Wedding Plans For Wesley & Karena (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

Jean-Luc and I are on the planet Wondawowman to discuss wedding plans between my son Wesley and Queen Diana's daughter Karena.

As they are a planet of amazons, they are more likely to want things their way. I suspect they are completely going to ignore Jean-Luc. Men do seem to be irrelevant around here.


"Now then, Beverly." starts Diana, "We'll have to make sure all the guests arrive at Wondawoman on time and..."

"Excuse me...errr...your Majesty." interrupts Jean-Luc, "But had we decided that the wedding would be held on this planet?"

Diana gives him a look of disgust.

"Captain Picard." the Queen says, "You will refrain from talking in what is clearly a serious discussion between two women."

"The Captain does have a point." I comment, "Perhaps Wesley and Karena might like their wedding to take place elsewhere?"

"Out of the question!" snorts Diana, "All amazonians here, whether they are a Princess or not, have a life ambition to get married in the Oracle of Wisdom."

I concede this point. One has to go along with the bride in her wishes as to location. I get the impression I'm going to concede on a lot of other points as well.

"Now." continues the Queen, "Will you be giving Wesley away, Beverly?"

"What do you mean?" I reply in puzzlement, "I thought the bride gets given away?"

"Not here." Diana answers, "As this is a matriachal society, the woman takes precedance, and actions are in reverse to what your society does."

"As long as Wesley doesn't have to wear a wedding dress." comments Jean-Luc. The Queen looks icily at him, as his joke fell flat.

"The process is this." explains Diana, "Karena will be waiting at the Oracle of Wisdom with the Best Woman. Wesley will enter with the parent, who will then give him away, and the service will be performed."

"Who will be carrying out the ceremony, your Majesty?" pipes up Jean-Luc.

The Queen looks at him tiringly, as if it is too much trouble to answer a man. Instead of addressing him, she turns to me to reply.

"I shall be carrying out the marriage service." she states, "As Queen of the Wondawowman amazonians, I have the authority to perform such events, and shall declare my daughter Karena and your son Wesley Bride and Life Servant."

I wince at this description.

"Will you be picking her wedding dress?" I ask casually.

"Karena will NOT be wearing a wedding dress!" the Queen exclaims, as if I have commited a social faux pas, "All amazonians get married in full battle armour with spear and sword."

"Sounds appropriate!" Jean-Luc whispers quietly in my ear.

I feel like I'm not getting anywhere here. The wedding plans are all sorted out by Queen Diana, and any suggestions I make are just cast aside.

"Don't forget Wesley's outfit." Jean-Luc whispers.

"Now about Wesley's outfit..." I start.

"Now that's all up to you, Beverly." answers the Queen, "You can talk that over with him and he can come in what he wishes."

I'm amazed! A concession!

"....As long as it's one of these five designs." Diana concludes, by giving me some typical Life Servant pictures, "All prospective Life Servants wear these sort."

I groan.

"Well that concludes our meeting, Beverly." Diana says, getting up, "It was a lot of fun choosing how the wedding will run, wasn't it. Incidentally, when we chat in the future, try not to bring the Captain. He just gets in the way."

Jean-Luc and I head back to the shuttle, then back to the Enterprise.

I've got a feeling I'm going to have a lot of trouble with my prospective in-law.


eastcoastlife said...

For the Chinese, the groom's family decides on most of the wedding arrangements and stuff.

I would not let the bride's family make major decisions. Looks like trouble. hehe...

The Mistress of the Dark said...

this is going to be a very memorable wedding!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Does 'memorable' mean good?

SQT said...

Just think what life is going to be like for poor Wesley.

SQT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Curmudgeon said...

"Does 'memorable' mean good?"

Probably not.

Except for Beverly giving the groom away and the bride wearing battle armor, this ceremony sounds quite conventional... right down to the bride's mother being in absolute, total control. Don't you think so too?

Linda said...

I guess if Karena is going to be wearing full battle armour then perhaps he'd best make sure he doesn't get cold feet as I'm sure he'd get skewered at best!

Ciera said...

Jean-Luc in the way?! Never!

I think they ought to elope - it'd be easier. And it would irritate the Queen.

Because - you know, she really kind of irritates me.

SHI said...

you really need to put your foot down harder bev

SHI said...

yeah you should have turn that on her saying its every starfleet officers dream to get married in their dress uniforms

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Shi, that's a good comment, but how Becv puts her foot down harder against the Queen of the Amazons is not easy.

Ciera, I think Diana irritates a lot of people!

Linda, you're right. If Wes changes his mind he'd get skeewered with that spear of Karena's!