I dislike being a diplomat.
Nonetheless, I have to play host today to a Romulan senator, who is visiting the Enterprise to discuss peace with Federation and Romulan Star Empire.
This sort of this is usually nothing more than a lot of talk and an opportunity to glean a few secrets off each other. The trouble is, we never get anything off them.
Predictably, I hear a few noises off Worf, who is not exactly their biggest fan.
"The Romulans are not to be trusted!" he says aggressively as the senior staff go to the transporter room to beam him on board.
"I agree with you, Mr Worf." I reply, "But for the sake of diplomatic relations between the two forces, we must keep up an accord, even if only in pretence."
Worf mumbles a few choice Klingon phrases. As I know the language, it is hardly suitable to repeat them here.
Deanna stands with me as we are ready to greet the senator. The Counselor is a good mediator to have around when we have to talk with races we cannot trust or dislike.
The Romulan beams on.
After I do my usual welcome speil, the Senator continues.
"Greetings, Captain." I am Senator Vreenak of the Romulan Council. Thank you for your welcome."
He glances at Worf.
"I heard you had a Klingon on board." Vreenak continues, "What position does he hold here? Does he clean the warp plasma conduits?"
Worf looks incensed, but Deanna, who is slightly irritated moves moves forward.
"Certainly not, Senator." she answers with a somewhat fixed smile, "Lieutenant Worf is Chief of Security and also operates on Tactics."
"In that case." he continues, "I'm surprised that no one has escaped, or the ship hasn't been blown up by enemies! Shall we go to the discussion room?"
I get livid, but with my temper just about bearable, I take him out of the room.
"You Federation officers are all the same." Vreenak laughs to himselfs, "Very weak."
"Isn't the discussion room the other way, Captain?" Riker whispers to me as we walk through the corridor.
"Yes, Number One." I reply, "But I've decided to hold it somewhere else."
A few moments later, we get to our destination.
"But this is the brig." says the Senator, "Why are we here, Captain?"
"Because this is where you're going." I reply shaply, "As anyone would who talks to my crew like that. We'll visit in a few hours and start talking then. After that, I'll let you out and you can go back to your ship."
"This is a disgrace!" Vreenak protests, "The Romulan Council shall hear of this."
"I'm sure they will." I answer, "Still, you're lucky. The brig chef is doing lasagna tonight. As you're a Senator, I'll instruct him to give you double helpings."
I do dislike being a diplomat. I seem to offend a lot of people for some reason!