Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Picard's Log Secretary (Part Two)

Editor's Note:

All comments in italics are written by Anna (Captain Picard's new Log Secretary) Any misspellings and grammatical errors are entirely due to her! I have correctly spelt (I hope) trhe words not issued by Anna.

Hi! I'm Anna, and I'm gonna be writing this log. naturally the Captin has alreddy told me wot to say, but I'm tiepin it all down now.

"What's the new girl like, Jean-Luc?" asks Bev quietly when she comes in. Anna continues to type.

The bloomin' cheek! That redhed talks like I'm not in the room! I can tell she's got the hots for old baldy. Wouldn't it be a shok if she came in and saw me sitting in his lap taking notes?

"She's fine I reply, "Although I must have a word with her about her dress sense. Her clothes are too short, and the way she buttons that blouse..."

"Do you want me to wear them?" giggles Bev, so that my Log Secretary doesn't hear.

"Don't you usually when no one is around?" I reply.

Will you pare get a room?? I have to sit hear and listen to these two at it all the time. He should have got sumone wiv poorer hearing.

Deanna and Will enter. Both look at Anna.

"Hello." Deanna says to Anna, "Do you like it here?"

"Yes, it's very pleasant." my Secretary replies in a neutral voice.

Here's anuvver cupple that go off with each other! The beardy guy and the dark haired woman spent the night together. You can see that this ship is like! Ho Ho!.

"She's not bad, sir." whispers Will in my ear.

There's anuvver eying me up!

 I need to unbutton my blouse a bit. It's too stuffy in here.

That's better.

I decide to go over and take a look at Anna's progress so far. I look horrified.

"What's this supposed to be, Anna?" I ask angrily.

"It's your official log, sir." Anna answers. I notice she has unbuttoned her blouse even more.

"You are not supposed to put your own thoughts into the log, or pictures of yourself!" I tell her, "It is meant to be my viewpoint, not my empty-headed secretary, who clearly has no idea about spelling, grammer or syntax."

What's he talking about tin tacks for? That's insultin to say I'm no good at spellin.

"Have you seen what she's said about you and me, Will?" calls out a frantic Deanna, "Bev, she's said a few things about you, too."

"Youi're fired, Anna!" I tell my Log Secretary, who shrugs her shoulders and picks up her make-up bag and departs.

"It's okay." she says as she walks out,  "An Admiral on Earth had asked me to be his Secretary and take the minutes at the meetings he attends."

"Those minutes that Anna produces should be most entertaining!" laughs Bev.


Michael Manning said...

My God! She didn't even last in the job long enough for the length of the blog post!! But, alas, you took effective action. There might have been a (limited) riot onboard. Just the same,this was a most unexpected "development" on the ship! ;)

Gordon said...

Hmm you escort her out via an airlock :p

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