"I want to be out there in the battlezone, sir." I tell Admiral Hollister, "Why does the Enterprise have to be involved in PR stunts all of the time?"
"I appreciate your frustration, Captain." Hollister replies, "But remember that your ship is a Galaxy class. The flagship of the fleet. It's only natural that the Federation shoud want to see representatives of the best ship there is."
I can see that Hollister is trying to flatter me again, hoping that will persuade me. The trouble is, that usually does.
"So what do we have to do, sir?" I say grudgingly, knowing that what an Admiral wants, they always get.
"I'll tell you fully when I brief your senior staff." he tells me, as the two of us walk towards the Ready Room.
With the senior staff assembled, they all listen to the Admiral.
"The Federation Television Network are keen for the public to see who the people are in she starships that defend our planets." he starts, "Therefore they are setting up a special Dancing With The Federation edition, in which four couples from the Enterprise will dance against each other in a competition. The winner to be judged by the public."
Bev's face light's up.
"I wanna do it!" she exclaims, "Come on, Jean-Luc, you know we'd win easily against these losers!"
"Err...Doctor Crusher is an accomplished dancer." I tell the Admiral, "I would be happy to partner her."
"Excellent." Hollister comments, "Now we need three couples."
"I'm a trained dancer." Ensign Jennifer Baxter declares, "Data has all dance steps in his programming. We would win easily."
"That's good." Hollister muses, "Two more to get."
"How about you, Mr Worf." I ask, "Would you and Jadzia like to take part?"
"Klingons do not take part in dancing competitions!" he snorts decisively.
"Number One?" I suggest, "How about you and Deanna?"
"Come on, Will." Troi urges, "You can do it!"
Riker agrees, albeit unwillingly.
"Well, we just need one more couple." Hollister tells me, "Who can we pick?"
"Hey! how about us?" shouts a familiar voice.
Ensign Britney. No..not her!
"T'Pol and I are great dancers. We really wow the people at the clubs with the routines we do..when we're sober that is."
"That's right." T'Pol confirms, "Brit and I will really wipe the floor with you lot."
Admiral Hollister looks a little embarassed. He doesn't know quite what to say.
"Err.." he stutters, "But you are both...errr...women."
"Got something against that, Admiral?" challenges Britney, "I thought the Federation was past that sort of discrimination."
Hollister has painted himself into the proverbrial corner.
"Of course we are." Hollister declares, "We'd be happy to have you two ladies as contestants."
"Yay!" shouts Britney, who does a high-five with T'Pol, "Sistah, let's dance to victory!"
To be continued...