Thursday, June 25, 2009
Repairing Data (Part Two)
Guest Poster: Geordi La Forge
I'm struggling to repair my friend Data after he ceased to function and fell unconsious. All the diagnostics I've tried have failed, so now I'm contacting the Cybernetic Division of Starfleet. The trouble is, it's so hard to get in touch with anyone there. I have to keep pressing buttons to get to different departments.
"Look, I just want to speak to a human!" I say exasperatingly over the videoviewer.
"That does not concur." says a voice, "It is discrimitory, as only 42% of the staff are human. 10% are Vulcan, 5% are Bolian and...."
"Sorry." I say irritatingly, "Can someone help me here? My friend Data, who is an android with a positronic brain and circuitry system needs your help."
There is silence for a while.
"I shall bring our top engineer over to talk with you."
"Sid!" I exclaim, "I didn't think you were into cybernetic research."
"Not really, mate." he replies, "They were just a bit short over here, so I thought I could get a bit of extra work done."
Suddenly my confidence goes down. Sid fixes a lot of things that go wrong with starships etc, but he has a very 20th century outlook about it, and the tools are rather suspect. Anyway, I tell him what the problem is.
"Sounds like a bit of wear and tear, mate." Sid tells me, "Screw his head back on, and get an electric lead out."
"Err....are you sure this is going to work, Sid." I say, rather worried.
"This gadgets are all the same." "They just need rebooting once in a while. Have you got the electric wire ready? Put one end in his ear, and the other in the plug. When I give the go-ahead, put the switch on....and errr..stand well back."
I pull the switch and there's a blinding flash. Everywhere goes dark and the Enterprise stops.
"What WAS that Mr LaForge?" the Captain says a few moments later, when all the power comes back on.
Data wakes up, a little groggy.
"Sorry, sir." I say, "It needed a little power to reboot Data, who has revived, thanks to Sid."
"Sid?" the Captain mumbles with a groan, "I should have guessed."
"Well, that's it, mate." Sid tells us, "I'll send my fee to the Captain."
"I'm sure he'll love that!" I think drily.