Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Britney & T'Pol's New Vacation (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol

Brit and I are on the way via shuttle to Serennia IV for our vacation together. She picked it because it seems we have been banned from all destinations in the galaxy due to the raucous behaviour we get up to.

Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with being a little lively. Anyway, the people on this planet have only opened to tourists this week, so we think they will be eager to accept us for business...and they probably haven't heard of us yet!


"Almost there, sistah!" Britney says with delight, as the shuttle nears Serennia IV, "Then it's time for some mega-serious frolicking and partying."

"You're right there, honey." I say to my Deltan friend, "Let's hope we can last more than a few days before we are deported."

"Sweetie." she says with a sly look, "Even if we do, we're gonna make sure that every second counts by living it to the max."


We touch down and get the hovercar to the Seaview Hotel. As we do, Brit starts to look around.

"I'm gettin' worried, T'Pol." he says, "While looking out, I haven't seen one single nightclub, and all the people on this planet seem to be over 100 years old."

"It might not be as bad as you think, Brit." I tell her, "Perhaps we just have to look out of town."

Privately, I'm rather worried, though.

We enter the doors of the Seaview Hotel. Some of the residents seem to have been sitting in the chairs so long there are spiders webs on their legs.

An old man approaches us.

"Hi girls." he cheerily says as he greets us, "I'm Pete, Manager of the Seaview. Glad to have you here. We need a little youth here."

"How old are most of the residents?" I enquire.

"They are all over 90." answers Pete, "It means every day I have to go and check whether they are still with us every morning...once I've made sure I am! Ha!Ha!"

Pete's joke falls flat with Britney who presses him about the facilities.

"Where is the nearest nightclub?" Brit asks.

"We don't have one of them anywhere on the planet." Pete replies, "But we do have an Afternoon Tea Dance you may wish to go to, or there is always bingo."

Britney winces.

"All right." she says, "Pete, just tell us where the nude beach is for now."

Pete looks shocked.

"Ladies, we don't have them." he answers, "If you go down and start taking off your clothes, the elderly people watching could suffer a mass heart attack, as their pacemakers could well explode!"

Brit and I go to our room.

"I'm sorry, sistah." she tells me, "We've come to the wrong place for us."

"Don't worry, honey." I reply, "I'm sure we'll think of something."

To be continued...


The Curmudgeon said...

I would think it would be really awkward if one's pacemaker explodes.

I hope the girls don't do anything too drastic......

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Well the place doesn't have any cool nightclubs or nude beaches, but at least there's early dinner, right?

Linda said...

I'm sure the girls can liven up the afternoon tea dance, right? Surely the wheelchairs have hyperdrive?!?

Michael Manning said...

As my CPA has always told me, "Even if you make a mistake, it can be fixed". :D)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You can rely on these two to liven things up!