Thursday, February 07, 2008
T'Pol & Britney In The Mirror Universe (Part Three)
Guest Poster: Ensign Britney
Boy, my soulsistah T'Pol and I have made a mistake big time! I haven't been this sad since the Enterprise replicator failed to issue my favourite brand of chewing gum.
When T'Pol and I saw there was a spatial rift that led to the mirror universe, which is where she comes from, and is the home of the Terran Empire, she grabbed a shuttlecraft and hightailed it out before Captain Picard could say anything. Naturally, as her friend, I came along. I'm always getting locked in the brig as we Deltans like free expression.
We got a surprise when we found out that T'Pol is a wanted fugitive, due to a two hundred year Order given by Empress Sato. We are both going to be executed.
And that really spoiled my day. The brig menu at the Enterprise I escaped from would be having fish and chips tonight.
T'Pol and I are handcuffed, and are about to be taken to the execution chamber.
A smiling Captain Picard looks at us.
"This is a great day for the Empire." he gloats, then turns to Riker, "Make sure you inform the Emperor of who we have, and that the traitor T'Pol has been executed. I'll get a promotion for sure."
"...And then I can be Captain without trying to kill you." answers the one-eyed Riker.
"Don't be too sure." Picard snarls, "A new Captain would need to have my recommendation. Someone who tries to kill me and left me with a scar doesn't have a good CV."
Then the two of us are taken by two hefty security guards. T'Pol asks if it will all be painful.
"Oh yes." replies a guard with a sadistic laugh, "We make them as painful as possible. After all, the Terran Empire has a reputation to uphold."
Suddenly as we approach a corner, one of the guards is dazed as someone lashes out at him with a green stick.
It's Syra, the Orion Slave Girl. She swiftly unfastens the handcuffs, throws me a stick and we hit at the other guards. I whack him with the stick, and get him rolling on the floor when I kick him with my extra-heavy Dr Martens boots.
I high five T'Pol in congratulations.
"Way to go, sistah!!" we both say, then do the same with Syra.
"Why are you helping us?" T'Pol asks, I thought you were one of the Captain's Women?"
"Crusher is the Captain's main Woman." she answers, "I am there for him when they argue or he tires of her. What Picard is unaware of is that I am a spy for an anti-Terran Empire faction, and am working undercover. If you and your friend escape, it may destabilise the Leadership when they find the top fugitive has managed to get away."
Let's go, honey!" T'Pol urges to me.
"Good luck." Syra calls out.
We find the shuttlecraft and manage to release the bay doors. As it starts to leave, we see the lights flashing.
"They know we've escaped, sistah!" I exclaim.
The shuttlecraft speeds out. We see the rift is still there, but a lot smaller. With a boost of power, we approach, noticing that the ISS Enterprise is following, trying to retrieve us with it's tractor beam.
"We'll find you sometime, traitor!" shouts an angry Picard on an audio signal. I switch it off.
"The rift is too small for them to get through." T'Pol tells me, "We'll just make it!"
We flash through the rift, and a few moments later, it has closed. Ahead of us is the familar shape of the USS Enterprise.
"Well I guess we're both for the high jump now, T'Pol."
".....Desertion is a major offence." Captain Picard is telling us in his office, "We ought to throw the book at you both. I think you've both learnt that the grass is not greener on the other side, and that the Terran Empire of today is not suitable for you."
"It was two hundred years ago, though." starts T'Pol, but wisely decides not to say anymore.
"Well, you'll both have plenty of time to chat together over your exploits in the brig." sighs Picard.
"Are we still having fish and chips on the brig menu, Captain?" I ask.
"Yes." he answers with a puzzled look.
"Great!" I answer, "Lead the way. The chips are delicious there. Crisp and crunchy!"