Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Alpha Borg Queen (Part Two)



Guest Poster: The Borg Queen

Now that the leader of the entire Borg race, the Alpha Borg Queen has arrived at the Conference, I can see that excitement is beginning to mount.

She has assembled herself in that showy manner. Our leader always insists on making a flashy entrance, just to show that she's the Number One Borg.

Personally, I don't like sucking up to the leader. It's far too demeaning on oneself. It's pathetic to see these minor Queens trying to curry favour with "What can I do for you, your Majesty etc?"

Yuk. Still I have to do it somewhat, otherwise with one sweep of her hand, I could be either in the Borg dole queue or taken apart for a science exam.

The Alpha Borg Queen notices me, and walks over, with her entourage following close behind.



"Greetings, 01." she says politely, "How are activities on your Cube?"

"They are fine, thank you, your Majesty?" I reply meeky, "We managed to assimilate three races last week."

"Well done." she says, and moves on to the Troi Borg Queen, who looks like she is itching to say something.

"And how are you doing, 02?" she asks, "You are the Troi Queen from the other universe?"

"I am, your Majesty." she says sharply, "Our Cube assimilated nine races last week, which is a lot better than the human-loving 01 here, who is going soft!"

The air is suddenly filled with tension. This is not the sort of behaviour that usually happens in front of the Alpha Borg Queen.

"Go on, 02" our leader says.

"01 here." Troi says, as I look with a sneer, "Placed one of her drones, named Seven of Nine on the Enterprise starship instead of assimilating them. She has attended their Christmas parties, used her drones as waiters, piloted their ship, and is even thinking of redecorating her Cube in pastel colours and feng shui two drone designers named One of Two and Two of Two!"

"Indeed!" the Alpha Borg Queen says, but her face reveals no facial change.

"Yes." Troi continues, "I believe the 01 Cube Queen has gone too far in her relationship with humans, and that she is a friend of them. She forgets that the Borg are all conquering, unstoppable. We are Borg, resistance is futile."

"Quite so." our leader says to herself, then turns to me. "01, what do you have to say in reply to Troi's allegations?"

A bead of sweat appears on my brow. That doesn't usually happen.

"We can know our enemy best by researching them, your Majesty." I answer, "By putting my best drone, Seven of Nine on the Enterprise, I am gathering facts, secrets and information that it would be impossible to obtain by simply conquering them. Of corse we will assimilate them eventually, but only when we know all we need to, and their usefullness has ended."

"And the parties?" The Alpha Borg Queen inquires.

"It is all part of learning the habits of the humans. In this case, I decided to experience it myself, rather than wait for Seven's report."

A disgusted "Pah!" comes from the direction of the Troi Queen.

"You will be silent while I talk to 01!" The Alpha Borg Queen says to her. Everybody shivers, as they usually do when addressed firmly by her.

"Why are you designing your Cube in a different way to the standard set-up the the Borg use." she asks.

"Well, your Majesty." I reply, "The drones One One and One Two believe that those in the Cube will work at optimum efficiency if the workplace is more relaxing. A rest area for talking between shifts will also help."

"They are very interesting ideas." the Alpha Borg Queen says to herself, "Send the blueprints and design plans to my office. If I approve them, I may get all Cubes to have them fitted."

"I refuse to have them on my Cube!" the Troi Queen shouts.

"We can easily arrange for you not to have a Cube at all, 02!" our leader snaps back at her, "Is that what you want?"

"No, your Majesty." she replies demurely.

"Then be silent!"

The Alpha Borg Queen starts to walk away, then returns back to me.

"01" she asks, "Do you think you could get me a ticket for the next Enterprise Christmas party?"
"I'm sure that can be arranged, your Majesty." I reply.

"Excellent!" she answers, and walks off.

The Troi Borg Queen is in a sulk, and I'm a happy bunny!

21 comments:

Ellee Seymour said...

She's planning well ahead to next Christmas.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

Next year's party could be very interesting by the sound of this...

Linda said...

Very well done indeed!

Captain, it sounds like you may have more royalty at your next holiday party - better start planning early!

The Real Mother Hen said...

Excellent!
I shall provide free feng shui consultation to her two drones then.
PS: I am going to dress like the pinup in Part I next X'mas! :)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

That was a close call for the Borg Queen :)

Vegeta said...

did a borg just call herself a Happy bunny?

Michael Manning said...

Captain: I notice these meetings can be quite testy!

Justice said...

well I knew Borg troi's plan would fail right from the start

I mean the Enterprise Xmas parties are the best

you have to be insane not to want to go

or Jealous


which one is Queen Troi

The Curmudgeon said...

Well, a win-win for our Borg Queen -- and not a bad day for you either, Locutus, er, Captain, inasmuch as you're almost guaranteed not to be assimilated (again) before next Christmas.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You are all right. The Enterprise will need the red carpet out for the Apha Borg Queen at the next Christmas Party.

Mother Hen, I certainly hope you do dress up like the Troi Queen next Christmas. Pictures required!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Say, if the Borg happen to have a Christmas party, is there any chance that I can send Private Hudson to it?

Titania Starlight said...

I quite never saw a Borg Queen describe herself as a "Happy Bunny". Those humans are really rubbing off. I wonder who is assimilating who? :o)

Gordon said...

Well captain looks like things are looking up are they not.. I do hope someone accidentally forgets to put the Troi Borg Queen back together or has her re-assembled backward - I'm sure the Alpha Borg Queen to have that happen or worse demote her to a simple drone on her own cube...
You do have at least another year I'd say captain - good show..

Michael Manning said...

Captain: It must be high pressure to keep a straight face at certain times. Alas, ..."but her face reveals no facial change". I would have been hauled off in hand cuffs from hysterical laughter and placed in a (no pun intended) a straight jacket!:)

eastcoastlife said...

Happy Valentine’s Day Captain!!
*throws chocolates and red roses*

eastcoastlife said...

*comes back to steal a kiss from the Captain*
hehehe.....

Draculina said...

Hey think she could assimilate Vampi?

Then I could rule the world er I mean she would make a good drone

The Heroslayer said...

You go girl

Leon said...

Ha! Suck it Troi! (I don't mean it that way guys)

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