Sunday, February 24, 2008

Star Trip (Part One)

"We need to maintain accuracy." insisted Admiral Harriman to me on the videophone, "This is why you, Commander Data and LaForge need to visit the tv film set."

"Is it really that important, sir?" I ask, "After all, the Galacta TV company are only making a science fiction tv series. Why should they want us three along as advisors to their pilot programme."

"It's important for Starfleet." Harriman insists, "The viewing public needs to know that care is being taken. We don't want them to think any errors they may see on 'Star Trip' the tv series are what actually happens in real life. You'll be there to put the director right."

I kow there is no way I can get out of this, even though I said that we could have a problem if an alien race invades. He casually replies, saying Riker would be able to sort it out.

--------------

The three of us arrive on the set of 'Star Trip'. Everthing looks disorganised. Suddenly I hear a familiar voice.

"Hey, it's Captain Picard, that engineer with the cool shades and the robot!"

I groan, and turn around.



It's Steven Spolberg, the director who made a mess of filming on the Enterprise last month.

"Are you directing this television series, Mr Spolberg?" I ask, thoughh I know what the answer will be.

"I sure am, Captain." he answers, "We're gonna make a hit show that will shoot to the top of the ratings. Actually, we don't need you, but Starfleet insisted on having you around. What I saw around the Enterprise will get me through."

"We'll see about that." I reply, "What's the series about?"

"It's about a group of people on a starship." replies Spolberg, "Every week, they travel around the galaxy, and save everything from total destruction."

"Sounds familiar." comments Geordi, driely.

"Let's go meet the star of the show." Spolberg says, and takes us to a cabin with a force field around it Spolberg clicks the code.

"Enter!" says a voice.

We all go in and meet the 'star'., who is looking at himself consistantly in a mirror as we speak.



"This is Rick Ruddock." says Spolberg, "He will be playing the Captain of the Pegasus, Jack Jupiter."

"I'm sure you must be thrilled to meet me." Ruddock answers, "However I am not signing any autographs right now. It's imperative that I don't injure my hand."

"I've never heard of him." Geordi whispers in my ear. I indicate quietly that I never have either.
Ruddock goes back to looking in his mirror, and asks Spolberg who his first love interest is.

"It's J'Laya" Spolberg answers. Ruddock seems satisfied.

Spolberg informs us that it is written in Rick Ruddock's contract that he has a different woman to fall in love with every week, and that he has more lines to say than his other colleagues".

"That could cause some friction in the cast of actors." observes Data.

"Who cares?" Ruddock answers, "I'm the star!"

We leave the cabin. I make the point that it unrealistic for a Captain to fall in love with a different woman every week.

"That may be so, Captain." Data reminds me, "However in the 23rd Century, Captain James T Kirk had a different love interest every few days."

"You're right, Data." I reply, "However, we are here to see that this show looks realistic. Shooting starts tomorrow, so let's be ready for it."

To be continued...

26 comments:

Bobkat said...

Poor Captain! Mind you, you have to feel sorry for that Rick Ruddock, after all the pen is mightier than the sword so you cna understand how it might casue him injury if he did use it :)

Michele sent me over to say Star Trip sounds kinda familiar... :)

Anonymous said...

LOL Steven Spolberg! Good luck with the filming of Star Trip. ;)

The Heroslayer said...

nothing I can see wrong

Superman said...

this can't end well.

Amanda said...

This is going to be fun!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh no! Not him again!

Lori said...

Steven Spolberg......Too Funny!!!

Have a great day!!!

The Curmudgeon said...

I am almost positive that Starfleet is going to be none too pleased with the final product here.

Jana said...

Clearly Spolberg is not concerned with realism. At all.

Linda said...

Oh dear, I get the feeling that this is going to have "bad" written all over it!

Ellee Seymour said...

I wish I could be in this film, it sounds fun.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ellee, I'm sure there is a part in 'Star Trip' for you, but it might be is Rick Ruddock's love interest for the week.

Linda, you may very well be right!

Heather said...

This should be good for a great laugh...BTW I realized how many members of my church are closet trekkies when the church elder visited a few weeks ago. She said, "People tend to resist change" and I swear half the congregation said as one, "resistance is futile." It just made me feel even more at home...

dragonflyfilly said...

it feels like deja vue here, mon Kapitano (???)

Gordon said...

Why do I have the feeling captain that this is not going to end well that there will be a "real life" mutiny on board and that the "captain" will be shipped straight to the brig.
Now where did I put that plasma conduit multi-purpose wrench I got..

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Does Captain Jupiter get to do a fight scene every week featuring forward roll/double ax handle punch to the stomach combonation? 'Cuz that would be cool.

Justice said...

ohhh this should be a cool show if you three can keep the director in line

Anonymous said...

does he loose his shirt on every episode?

Anonymous said...

So will q help you again this time?
because if the Director gives you trouble just tell him you will call q again

Pat said...

So that's why Spolberg opted out of the China Olympic thingy?

Inertia said...

It wasn't that good a show.

captain corky said...

"However in the 23rd Century, Captain James T Kirk had a different love interest every few days."

Ah... the good ol' days.

Mother Jones RN said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mother Jones RN said...

Captain, perhaps this would be a good time to hire an agent, and get a part in the movie.

“I’m ready for my close up, Mr. Spolberg.”

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Mother Jones, as yiou see from Part 2, it's not me that gets into the tv series.

Heather, great story!

Vampirella, he ought to, hadn't he?

Jon, I'm not sure if Ruddock would do many fight scenes as it could ruffle his hair.

Unknown said...

That mirror!