The Party is now bursting with guests. Who else is coming in?
Rashbre enters the holodeck.
It was the usual rush to get from rashbre space across to USS
Enterprise for the legendary ECP hosted by Jean Luc-Picard, My
Calculus Rocket's helix booster was on "max", though I was mindful to
watch for blue flashing lights as I dropped back into the sub-orbital
ready for docking.
Outside of Enterprise was stunning, Data had somehow flipped shield
protection into "demo mode" and wired in a slightly cheesy Las Vegas
flashing lights overlay. It really said 'Party Time' to most of Near
The bass from the floor subs shook my legs as I stepped onto the
gantry before offering a hand to my date. There were a few gasps when
she stepped flashily from the Calculus. Ensign Britney and I had been
in a fling for a while now, but this was the first time we'd been seen
The route to the holodeck looked amazing and they'd even rigged a
glass bubble elevator like at Voodoo Lounge to whisk us up the 23
levels. I liked the attention to detail with the vista of space
replaced with one of the lights of Las Vegas.
At the main entrance, Worf and a couple of associates in salmon
coloured suits were on security, animatedly drinking prune juice and
laughing; "you two are cool", he winked whilst looking up and down at
Britney, "No searches today, Darlin'", he added in a faux British
Through the door and into an instant world of casino mayhem. Banks of
slot machines with flashing lights and beyond a more tranquil area of
softly lit tables with roulette, blackjack, pengo and jwbraqk. I
spotted guatami and the mistress of the dark winning huge quantities
of chips from one of the tables. At another table Panthergirl was also
winning, but as she caught my eye I realised she was getting ready to
move on "They're a bunch of zombies!" she whispered, pointing to the
We decided to head straight for the club area and almost immediately
ran into Craziequeen and Bob-kat in maddeningly fabulous outfits. They
had a great curvy corner table right by the dance floor. "Hey - join
the cool cats!" called Bob-kat and we snuck into the space with the
others who appeared to have found the wibble juice a little earlier
than us. Florence was positively giggling and appeared to be making a
soft toy with the tablecloth.
"Rashbre!" called Guinan from the distant bar - "I'll send someone
over!". I knew that both Britney and I would get our favourite drinks
and my Gargleblaster would be have a proper burnt orange topping.
Elvis was on stage at the moment - then I looked to the other stage
and there was another Elvis also singing. Jailhouse Rock. Britney and
I smiled - How appropriate.
"Lets hit it", said Britney and all of us from the table leapt forward
to cut a move on the dancefloor. I glanced at my watch.
Only 5 minutes in.
This was going to be some party!
Things seem to be going as normal around here!
Here is an odd person; it's Dr Nemonok
“I am surprised that we received invitations to the Enterprise Christmas party.” We were hurling through space and time in my Shadow Stealthship.
“What can I say,” Gun Nut answered. “One of my relatives is on the crew.”
“Distant relative, I am sure.”
“Isn’t this great?” Gun Nut threw her arms around my brain containment case. “This is our first Christmas together. Oh this is going to be special!”
“This will be interesting. I have never attended an event on a Federation vessel before. I may be able to use this opportunity to study the crew in their work/play environment.”
“Oh Nemmy,” my lady friend rolled her eyes. “Do you ever turn it off? It’s Christmas.”
“I know that. I cannot stop being a scientist no more than you could stop being a heavily armed assassin.”
“Except I can’t bring any weapons on board the Enterprise,” she answered with a grin. “Have you seen their security? They have a Klingon in charge of it.”
“A Klingon? Ugh. Detestable.”
Our ship exited warp and we quickly located the starship. After exchanging hails, we were beamed aboard and escorted to the holographic casino.
“Oh isn’t this wonderful?” Gun Nut exclaimed as she looked around. “And this is all holographs?”
“Yes. Unfortunately, the effect is less realistic to my sensor suite. Say, is that an android over there?”
“I don’t know,” my favorite marksman answered. “Maybe he’s just jaundiced.”
“Excuse me! I say, I hate to intrude on your festivities, but are you an android.”
“I am, sir,” the machine answered. “I am Lieutenant Commander Data, please to meet your acquaintance.”
“I am Dr. Nemonok, psychologist. I too am pleased to make your acquaintance.”
“And you exist entirely in this containment device?” Data looked me over.
“Of course. You are a very interesting individual yourself. Tell me, is your brain positronic?”
“Indeed it is,” he answered.
“Fascinating.” I then noticed a familiar face closing in on me. A face that I did not want to see.
“What is it, Doctor?” Gun Nut asked.
“Is that Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator walking towards us?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Never met the guy.”
“He must be here to apprehend me. Surely he knows of my allegiance to Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “Maybe he’s just here for the party.”
“Are you kidding? I cannot believe he chased me through space and time like this.”
“Just act natural,” she advised. “Don’t let him being here go to your head.”
“How can I not? He is approaching, quick shoot him.”
“I can’t, I’m unarmed,” Gun Nut answered. “Even If I was, we’d never get out of here.”
“You must still protect me. You must be my bodyguard, er, so to speak. Stop him.”
“Keep calm,” she hissed back through her teeth. “He’s not going to start anything. It’s Christmas.”
“Evil doesn’t rest on Christmas. Why should he?”
“Just keep calm,” she hissed again. “I know you can talk your way out of this. He’s just some dumb gladiator. You’re the galaxy’s greatest psychiatrist.”
“Heh heh, you are correct. I shall easily talk my way out of this.”
“Hello, I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator,” the man stepped up and gave a friendly smile. Ah, I see, he is trying to lull us into a sense of false security before he makes his move. “I noticed you two from over there. Do I know you?”
“Please, I am sure that you know of me. I am Dr. Nemonok.”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” he shook his head. “Normally, I don’t forget a face. Uh, no offense.”
“None taken, of course. I am sure we never met before, but as your reputation precedes you, I was certain that mine preceded me.”
“Right,” he said. “Oh yeah sure, I know you. You’re a psychiatrist, right? Didn’t you lose your license?”
“Yes of course. It was taken away from me. You know how these government bodies are. All red tape, heh heh.”
“Tell me about it,” he chuckled. “Hey, you’re on that Who Wants to be a Supervillain show too, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am on that show.”
“Ha ha, I love that show! You guys are too much,” he laughed. “Well, I have to get going, if I don’t dance with my wife, she’ll skin me alive.”
“How do you like that?” Gun Nut grinned as she threw an elbow into my jar. “He doesn’t know about you.”
“This is amusing. Who would have thought that Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator was such an idiot?”
Now where is Black Widow ?
A Christmas Spy
I was called into SHIELD ......
"Agent Romanova, code name Black Widow... We have a job for you..."
He threw down an invitation...
The Enterprise's Christmas Party... "Sir with all due respect.. We tried to gather intel last year... It didn't work." I say...
Fury walked in smiling, "It will this time... "
Tony Stark had built something that should prevent Security from beaming away any info we have... I am skeptical but decided why not...
I pull out one of my evening gowns... "Now Agent Romanova, you will keep the Captain's eyes busy, as well as other men... While Fury does recon..."
I nod at the General...
Fury and I take the invitation and step on Stark's device... The Presidential candidate smiles, "Now Tasha, Nick... We believe that because of last year, the starship's security will use a special transporter which will place a monitor device on you and alert them if you obtain any information you shouldn't have.... They will then use the transporter to ensure you are returned without that info. They will do this never telling you what they have done.."
Tony grinned and touched the his device, " but this will send the device onto another guest and will ensure they can't transport any information off of you."
Fury smiled and I shook my head, "Fury 24th century tech is so sophisticated.... What if.."
"It will be fine.. Nothing to worry about.." He put his cigar out and stood ready...
While Stark worked his invention we signaled the Enterprise we were ready...
Slowly I felt my atoms being broken apart and then reassembled.. The man at the transporter pad looked at me surprisingly... I turned and realized Nick wasn't with me.. I was alone...
"Security to Transporter room b we have an intruder..." He drew what appeared to be a weapon, "Now you just gold it right there lass..."
I looked around, "I don't remember the Enterprise looking like this last year... and your uniforms... Did you change them?"
He looked at me as if he had no idea what I was talking about... Several security guards entered... with a young man who spoke with an accent, he was Russian!
"Хорошо Вечер!" I say to him, "Где же капитан?"
"Вы русский?" He says...
"Yes I am Russian! Now answer me, Where is Captain Picard!" I yell...
Another man walks in, "Step a side, Chekov !" He looks me up and down and then smiles, "I am the Captain."
I roll my eyes, "You are not Captain Picard," I thrust the invitation forward, "I am here for the Christmas Party."
"Christmas Party?" He takes my invitation...
"Yes! Christmas Party! You know on board the USS Enterprise! This is the Enterprise isn't it?" I am starting to get annoyed...
"Да!" Chekov said to me in Russian...
Then a Vulcan walked in and the one claiming to be Captain turned to him and handed him the invitation, "What do you make of this Mr Spock..."
"Mind if I sit down... These stilettos are killing me..." I say shifting my weight...
"Stilettos lass?" The Scottish speaking man asked.
"Yes, stilettos. Don't you have high heels in the 24th century?"
Everyone looked up at me... Mr Spock then turned to speak with the Captain, "I believe I know the problem... The Invitation in question is for the USS Enterprise D, 24th Century..." He then looked at me, "You are aboard the USS Enterprise in the 23rd Century..."
He then walked over and looked at me, "But you are not from the 24th Century."
"No I am Agent Natasha Romanova, and I am from the 21st Century." I sigh, "I knew we shouldn't have ...."
I stopped myself....
"Shouldn't what Lass?" Mr Scotty asked.
"Look we were invited to a Party in the future. We signaled we were ready and they beamed us up... Or they were suppose to... " I say not reveal Tony's scheme...
"We?" Captain Kirk inquired
"Colonel Fury my date... " I titled my head...
"Captain, I don't know why they would risk beamin people from the 21st Century, I mean wouldn't that be against Temporal Regs? Either way, there are a number of reason why the Lass ended up here. As for her gentle friend, well he could be on board the Enterprise D or back in the 21st century... He could also be dead.." Scotty explained...
His last statement took me for a massive shock... I sure hope Fury is okay...
"Well, Scotty, Spock.. Let's see if we can't get the lovely lady to her Party... Chekov show Agent Romanova to her quarters. She can use mine," He turned to me, "We are an Exploration ship not a Luxury cruise ship.. Quarters are small, mine is the biggest."
The whole time he as speaking I was thinking, yeah right... I know what you are up to...
As Mr Chekov escorts me to the Captain's cabin he gets to hear a few Russian expletives...
Which from his smile he thought was funny... "What is so funny?"
He became nervous and mumbled a few words in Russian...
"Что такое имя?" I ask...
He straightened his Uniform, "Ensign Checkov, Pavel Andreievich Chekov"
"Nice to meet you Pavel... Now do you know where I might find a bottle of Vodka?" I offered my arm and nervously he took it... Before long I was in his quarters (not Kirk's) sharing a bottle of Vodka and singing Russian songs... My plan was to get him drink, once he passed out I would gather the info ... 23rd Century tech is better than going home empty handed...
I woke up this morning to Kirk calling for Pavel... Oops... I guess I had a bit too much Vodka... I squirmed out from under Pavel's embrace and searched for my dress... The young Ensign dressed and then took me to a room where Kirk sat with the rest of his staff...
My head was spinning... Pavel and I got a few looks... "Good Morning Miss Romanova..." Kirk said glance over at the Ensign, "I trust you sleep well? We are sorry you missed your Christmas Party but we think we can have you back in your time within the hour."
1 Hour that was all the time I had... While Pavel reported to do, I snuck out of Kirk's cabin where I was sent to wait and started gathering information...
1 hour later I waltz onto the Transporter pad, my mini spy camera full... with micro chips full of data on 23rd Century tech... Pavel ran in and stopped when he saw Kirk...
The Captain stepped aside and Chekov said good bye..
"Прощайте любовника. Пока в следующий раз." I whisper in his ear and watch as he blushed...
I then stand alone, "Beam me home..." Once I return to SHIELD HQ, I placed the data before my superiors, "Something for your Christmas stockings.."
Here is a tough guest: TAK, Army Of (Cl)One
As I leave shuttle bay 2, I sense the Enterprise crew is staring at me. I know that Star Trek and Star Wars don’t mix well, but I showed them my invite to the Christmas party from Captain Picard and they reluctantly led me to Ten Forward.
I scan the room and see being from many different worlds. The room is decorated in greens and reds and golds It looks like it may be a rocking party after all.
At the bar a women named Guinan give me a thick brown drink. It is sweet with a flavor I have not tasted before. But it is very tasty.
A stunning looking woman motions me over to her group and introduces herself. “Hello, I am Deanna Troi. I remember you from that show that you and the Captain were on together. What was it called Last something some thing?”
After a large swig of my drink I say “Last Gladiator Standing. It was a great experie…..”
“Yes, I am sure it was. Have you meet the rest of the crew? This is Data, Will Riker,” she mention a few more people, but I can only think of how lovely she looks. I feel a little strange and Guinan refills my drink.
I sit down at the table and gaze at Deanna “Are you an Angel?”
Deanna smiles at me, “What?”
I stare back at her, slurring slightly “An Angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. They are good, and kind, and so pretty they make even the most hardened spice pirate cry.”
Deanna looks at me, not knowing what to say, “I’ve never heard of Angels.”
Things are getting fuzzier for me by the moment, so I speak again “You must be one... maybe you just don't know it.” I lean forward and pass out on the table.
“Guinan, what did you put in that boy's drink?” Deanna laughs.
Guinan shakes her head and stare at me “Nothing, I only gave him chocolate milk. He looked a little young to be drinking.”
Amanda has joined the growing group of guests.
Transporter. Holodeck. Is that a replicator? This is all too much. I've never felt so awestruck in my life. I couldn't believe it when I received the invitation to the Enterprise Christmas Party. That left me speechless for hours. How will I function now that I'm actually on the Enterprise?
I'm at the buffet which is designed to help people mingle while sampling the many delicacies that Guinan has catered. Obviously, blood wine and worms are top on my list. NO, not really. But I do eventually hope to get around to them.
"No, I said Will was an EASIER leader. Not a BETTER one." I hear Deanna Troi says behind me.
I turn to see Counsellor Troi (much shorter in person) standing between two towering giants: Commander Will Riker and Lt Worf.
"Easier means you would follow him more willingly. Therefore more effective and better" Worf said.
"No no, he's just not as commanding as you" I hear Troi reply.
I've never witnessed Klingon anger building up but it was obvious to anyone that the deep rumbling voice seething those words was definitely an angry one.
"Worf, you don't have to be the best at everything. After ll, you're a warrior, not a dancer" Riker says with a smile.
"We'll see about that! I am just not used to this human dance that requires the male to be gentle with the female. I challenge you to a dual. Best of 3 dances!" bellows Worf.
By this time, a small crowd, including Captain Picard, had gathered around.
Riker raises and eyebrow and says "A duel eh? Interesting. What dances do you propose? And whats the prize?"
I can see that he's really mad now but I don't understand it. Why would being the best dancer mean so much to a Klingon warrior? Its ridiculous. But then, he's a Klingon and the slightest slight will not be tolerated I guess.
"C'mon Mr Worf. Let it be. Dancing is meant to be fun. Let' enjoy the rest of the evening. It' Christmas!" Captain Picard chimes in.
"Captain, you do not understand. I may not want to do this but my mother was a champion dancer in the Klingon Empire and I need to uphold the family honor. I cannot be bettered by Commander Riker. We must dual"
"Very well Mr Worf. Let me suggest then that the dances be randomly selected so that the dual is a fair one. Ah here is Mr Fontaine." Captain Picard says.
The spotlight and Vic Fontaine had also drifted to the little crowd.
"Mr Fontaine, Could you please generate 3 random dances with the appropriate music for us? You may select dances from any culture, planet and time. Please give a brief description of the dance and then we will let the competitors interpret it as they will" Captain Picard instructs.
"It will be my pleasure Captain"
With a nod to the band and I assume a quick run of the random dance generator in his head, the band then puts down all their instruments.
"The first dance is the Haka. This is a dance from New Zealand, Earth and it is the dance of warriors"
It is clear that neither Worf nor Riker have the slightest clue what this dance is. They just stand around looking confused.
"OK gentlemen. Commander Riker will go first" With that, Vic Fontaine lift his chin and then nods affirmatively.
Riker proceeds to walk around menacingly with his hands on his hips. His face tensed up in serious concentration.
Worf on the other hand, walks through his Mok'bara steps, the ancient Klingon martial art. He adds a few grunts and growls to some sort of a beat.
I'm betting that Worf will win this round. The crowd seems to agree with me. The winner is determined by the volume of applause measured by the Enterprise's computer.
"Computer, who received the louder applause?" asks Vic.
"Lt Commander Worf"
Worf beams with pride while a few Starfleet officers pat him on the back. He didn't seem to mind.
Another drum roll is sounded and Vic announces "The next dance will be the Limbo Rock. Ah, what a fun little dance that requires the utmost agility. Not much interpretation required, just go under the stick"
I couldn't help laughing at this. How would these two ever get themselves under the stick? Anybody else on the Enterprise would probably have been able to make at least the first round but Riker and Worf just seem too stiff to me.
"Every limbo boy and girl...." I hear the music start.
Worf starts first as winner of the previous round. I see him walk up to the bar and then try to lean backwards. I wonder how heavy his Klingon baldric is because he doesn't seem to be able to arch his back.
I then hear a muffled thud and clang of metal against the floor. Worf is on his back. There were some initial sounds of laughter but the fierce look on the Klingon's face silenced everybody. Riker holds out a hand to help Worf up. This isn't accepted.
The music continues in the background and its now Riker's turn.
I see that he isn't much more flexible than Worf. He manages to get his knees under the bar and has half his upper torso under but he is not progressing any further. Oops! There he goes. On the floor with Worf howling in laughter on the sidelines.
"OK. No winner for this round. That choice of dance may have been a little inappropriate given the competitors but thats what you get when you generate things randomly. The final dance is the Rhumba."
Riker immediately grabs Deanna Troi and mumbles "This will be easy. The Rhumba was invented by humans"
Worf looks at Vic Fontaine angrily.
"This is another HUMAN dance. That is unfair. Why haven't you selected any Klingon dances? In addition, it appears that this is a partnered dance. I came alone. Does this mean I have to concede?"
"Lt Worf, the Rhumba is a dance of passion. It transcends all cultures and lifeforms. All you have to do is draw on your inner emotions and let that lead you" says Vic
I see Jadzia Dax come up to the Klingon and say "Allow me to be your partner, Lt Worf. With seven previous lifetimes, I have plenty to offer."
Vic Fontaine adds that as there were no winners, both couples are to dance at the same time and the audience will be asked for their judgment at the end.
Riker and Troi start immediately and glide around effortlessly.
Worf took a few moments to adjust to the posture that Dax had him in but they too seemed to take off.
I look on with amazement at both couples. How do they just know how to move like that? Worf and Dax are especially entwined. They move along as if they have always been partners. Worf, the reserved Klingon warrior appears at ease and uninhibited.
Finally, the music stops and Vic Fontaine steps into the spotlight.
"Wow! Wasn't that a treat! Now lets hear it for the Commander Riker and Counselor Troi"
The crowd applauded, screamed and whistled loudly.
"And how about the Warrior and the Trill?"
A thunderous applause erupted. People were stamping their feet as well as clapping their hands. I guess the crowd started off underestimating Worf's ability at this 'ancient' dance. He did show that there is definitely the dancing gene in him.
"So we have a winner. Lt Commander Worf!"
Worf seemed satisfied but as usual, did not gloat. He nods to the crowd and thanks Dax. Riker came over to congratulate him but I think I may have seen a tinge of envy there.
The crowd starts to disperse and go back to enjoying the party. I've met a few people that are interested to hear about life in the 'old days'. I still can't believe that I am mingling with the crew of the Enterprise.
I wonder if I would be able to get myself a dance with Worf before I go home tonight?
With that, Part Three ends. Be here tomorrow when the Party continues with more guests!