Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Picard On Trial (Part Two)



Guest Poster: Data

The day of the trial has arrived.

I am in the courtroom as part of Captain Picard's defence team, along with Commander Riker and Counselor Troi. The Captain is being accused of crimes he committed while under the effect of the Mind Altering Device recently.

"We have a tough battle." says the Captain, "The Chief Prosecutor is Clarcia Mark. She is always very effective, and has never lost a case yet. The Judge is Ephriam Hardcastle, who dislikes me intensely."

"Could we not get a judge who looked on you more favourably?" asks Commander Riker.

"He WAS the most lenient, Number One." the Captain answers glumly, "It seems none of the judges like me."

There is a hubbub around the court and the judge enters.



"Starfleet versus Picard!" a court official announces, "Please all rise for Judge Hardcastle."

The Judge looks around, and his face fall on the Captain. Hardcastle sneers.

"You're that person who got assimilated and caused a mass battle to take place at Wolf 359."

"Err...yes." replies the Captain.

"....never liked him. The Borg probably still control the man." the judge says dismissively.

Clarcia rises.



"Your Honour." she starts, "I intend to prove that the defendant, Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise, did wilfully commit a series of robberies around the Quadrant with a criminal gang that only ended when he was detained while trying to steal the Disana Jewels."

"That shouldn't be too difficult." comments the Judge.

"We're sunk!" says Commander Riker. Counselor Troi tries to console him.

"Don't be too pessimistic, Will." she says with a smile, "I'm sure we'll be able to get the Captain off."

"The first witness is a Mr Leonard Wright." states Clarcia, "He has the criminal nickname of Lefty."



He comes in a striped prison outfit and chains.

"Now then, Mr Wright." starts Clarcia.

"Just call me Lefty, honey." he replies.

"Very well, err..Lefty. Tell me what happened when the defendant recruited you."

"Yeah, well, it's like I said." Lefty answers, "There I was, minding my own business in the pool room, when Johnny comes in."

"You mean Jean-Luc Picard, the defendant?" asks Clarcia.

"Yeah, that's right." he continues, "Anyway, he asks me if I want to earn some easy money and join a gang he was forming. He'd already recruited Fats, and he had tommy gun phasers, a getaway shuttlecraft. It looked a cinch."

"Did you think the defendant looked and acted like a criminal?" asks Clarcia.

"Objection!" shouts Commander Riker, almost knocking me over in his suddenness. I am clearly not used to court procedure.

"The impressions of the witness of the defendant cannot be answered." the Commander tells the court."

"I suppose you're right." concludes the Judge, with some reluctance, "I can't let you have this one, Clarcia."

The Judge whispers to Clarcia, "I hope that won't affect our dinner date later?"

"Of course not, Ephriam, sweetheart." she answers quietly.

Lefty continues his testimony.

"So, Johnny gets me, Fats, and his moll Toots all together. We were a great outfit. Johnny knew all the places where we could heist from, and the security codes to get round them. I would have put him down in the 'Criminal Of The Year' poll the underworld has."

"Thank you, Mr Wright." concludes Clarcia, "Your witness."

"Do you think that Captain Picard, who you call 'Johnny', was acting under the influences of something?" I ask.

"Nah." he replies, "He was a natural. The only time things went bad was when that redhead joined our team. She was a stoolie."

Everyone looks at Doctor Crusher, who is sitting in the court crowd.

"That is all, Mr Wright." I say.

"The Prosecution will present it's next witness in the following session." states Clarcia.

"Very well." Judge Hardcastle announces, "Court is adjourned."

To be continued...

19 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...

Not a very satisfying cross, Mr. Data.

But, since we have Marcia Clark -- er, Clarcia Mark -- can an ill-fitting glove be far behind?

Anonymous said...

I hope you have a very good lawyer captain.

Tawnya Shields said...

I sure hope Riker comes through. Isn't that a conflict of interest for the judge and attorney to be dating? I know Riker will jump on this fact. Loved the pics you included.

Linda said...

Well fudge, that didn't go well at all! Perhaps, Captain, you should get The Curmudgeon to take over your case? You might be better off!

susan said...

As Piglet would say
"Oh d d dear me!"

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh my...I think Bev might be in trouble too.

Unknown said...

I wonder if toots will get her revenge?

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to send along a little fyi...saw your post in my blogrush widget on my blog. Good to see you in there. :)

Amanda said...

I think Counselor Troi needs to put her empathic powers to good use here.

Anonymous said...

Captain, I hope you will be freed in time for an election if one is called.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Curmudgeon, I think I should have hired you instead.

Titania,m I don't think Riker noticed that fact. He must have been eating a donut at the time.

Chris C, good you saw me in BlogRush.

Ellee, can prisoners vote yet?

Jaime said...

It's not looking good, Captain. Maybe you should take the judge out to dinner!

Shiara said...

you should get a JAG to defend you

Lavender said...

Date later? I have an objection to that! This trial is rigged!!

Gordon said...

ouch what can I say captain this all looks like a stitch up, a 100% genuine stitch up...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Looks like the evidence is stacking up against you.

You need something really big and spectacular for defense. Something they'll least expect. Something dramatic and amazing.

Vegeta said...

Ir was nice knowing you captian

Jana said...

This is not going well at all. I hope you have some good defense witnesses!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

None of you seem to think my chances are good.