Things are not at the best of times right now.
A few moments ago, the Enterprise passed through the token mysterious spacial cloud. As we emerged, all power was drained, the lights went out and the ship is now floating in space; what a relief we have gravity shoes!
We are all sitting here in the Bridge, with everything in darkness, as if we are waiting for someone to come in and we all shout "Happy Birthday!" when they enter. Fortunately each are carrying a torchlight so we can see one another.
"What do we do, Captain?" asks Riker.
"I'm not sure, Number One" I say, "Suggestions anyone?".
I have to tell them all that when essentially, I don't have a clue.
I feel the blank looks coming forth; inane suggestions are meant to be very likely. Most likely long-range chances, or ideas that have no chance at all.
"The engines need to be revived" Geordi tells us, who is an expert at stating the obvious.
"With what?" I ask, "The kiss of life?"
"Heat might be enough to get get the engines slowly moving."
"What's the best source of heat that you have with you? I inquire.
"Errr...candles." Geordie haltingly replies.
"You're not serious, are you, Lieutenant?" I ask increduously, "That you want a 24th Century starship to be powered by candles?"
"It may not seem practical, Captain, states Data, "The theory is that the cloud carries a lot of energy; if you can take the Enterprise back to the cloud, the ship should absorb it and be fully charged."
"That sounds rather theoretical, Mr Data" I tell him, "How can you be sure that all this will happen?"
"We used to conduct tests on the holodeck on the effect of candle power on ship controls before this happened., and chances are that everything will work." he replies.
"Just how sure can you be?" I ask carefully.
Data isn't too keen on answering.
"The chances of success are slightly limited, Captain." he informs me.
This means the odds are very much against us; I would be safer betting on the 200 to 1 outsider in a horse race than on our success.
Everybody is sent to get their candles; some seem to have more than others; perhaps they have a great liking for them? I wonder what they do with them all in their quarters?
They are lit within the engine room.
"I sense great optimism here, Captain" says Deanna.
Actually, I sense great idiocy.
Eventually, the engines begin to creak, and the controls start to light up. Swiftly, Geordi programmes the Enterprise to take us into the cloud.
As we enter, there is a crackle of lights all over the ship as if it is New Year's Eve at Starfleet Headquarters.
Full power is resumed, and we pull away, completely restored.
"Perhaps there is a place for candle power, Captain?" asks Data, "I could enter it into the Starfleet Manual?"
I think Starfleet might believe Data had a circuit or two loose.