Thursday, July 20, 2006

Attitude Adjustment

Today, I'm taking two members of the crew on an Attitude Adjustment Course in the holodeck.

They are Seven Of Nine and Ensign Ro Laren.

When Seven has always had a superior viewpoint over everyone, Ro Laren looks down on just the Cardassians. We have to confine her to her Quarters if a Cardassian happens to visit. Much as I dislike this race, we can't have Ro sneering at them and spitting.

It's just not diplomacy.

So Seven, Ro and I are in the holodeck, where I am going to instruct them on Attitude Adjustment. I would have had Riker do this, but he is too easy-going, and the Admirals have dictated that such courses must be carried out by the highest ranking officer.

"Now then, Seven and Ensign Ro" I start, "This course is designed to emphasise that a change in your general attitude and behaviour is required by you both here on the Enterprise."

"The Borg are supreme." Seven states coldly.

"Cardassians are filth." Ro says afterwards.

"Now you see" I tell them, "That's just the sort of thing we want to cut out. You may both have your own private feelings, but you should not display them in front of others."

"How can I when it's true?" asks Seven, "The Borg will eventually rule the galaxy and assimilate every being."

"And it's true that the Cardassians are the lowest form of life." Ro tells me, "The Bajorans will drive them away. Take my advice, Seven. Don't assimilate them, as it will only lower the quality of the Borg."

The two women start chatting together, ignoring me.

"Ladies!" I shout, "You are first and foremost part of the crew of the Enterprise. That is the most important feature. Seven, you must not look down on others and have a superior attitude over the other crew members."

Seven looks disappointed and rolls her eyes.

"Ro Laren" I say to her, "You must be more friendly towards Cardassians. While we have a treaty with them, you will have to treat them with respect."

Ro looks disappointed and rolls her eyes.

"Now then, ladies" I continue, "To see if you have understood my message, we will act out a scenario here in the holodeck to see what your reaction is. We'll start with Seven."

The holodeck changes to to an image of the transporter room.

"Certain people will emerge from the transporter" I tell them, "You must welcome them."

An 'Admiral' is created ans steps from the holographic transporter.

"Welcome to the Enterprise" says Seven, "I am Seven Of Ni..."

"A Borg drone!" says the Admiral, "Is it safe to come on board, or you going to assimilate me?"

Seven looks angry.

"The Borg are supreme." she shouts, "Resistance is Futile!"

The Admiral's image disappears.

"You see, Seven" I tell her, "You were goaded into making that error. You should have held your temper and smiled, welcoming him aboard. Now it's Ensign Ro's turn.

Seven sits down, muttering a few Borg expletives, as Ro Laren gets up.

A 'Cardassian Diplomat' beams on to the holographic transporter. Ro's face changes to extreme dislike. nonetheless she stays calm.

"Welcome to the Enterprise" she says, "I am Ensign Ro Lare..."

"A Bajoran!" exclaims the Cardassian, "Were you not in one of the work camps we built?"

Ro looks livid and gets her phaser and zaps the holographic Cardassian.

I groan.

"Class is over, ladies." I tell them, "Clearly you both need more work to be done on your attitude adjustment."

As we leave, Seven and Ro chat away together.

"That was excellent shooting, Ensign Ro." says Seven, "That Cardassian was not worthy of living. I would not have bothered to assimilate him."

"Too right" agrees Ro, "The Borg do seem to have good taste in who they choose to assimilate."

They walk off talking and laughing.

Why do I think the Attitude Adjustment Course didn't quite work out?


The Curmudgeon said...

Seven seems to have assimilated Ro already.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

I think you might have created a monster, captain... girls can be awfully evil when then gang up together!



Southern Girl said...

Captain Picard, I love your bald head. :)

Lahdeedah said...

It just starts with Seven and Ensign Ro. But soon, they'll express their feelings to Crusher, who will see their point, and then chat with Deanna, and then soon, all the women on the entreprise will be bonding over margueritas and bunco, and good-bye your command. I mean, once women start bonding, the men are done for....

Radical One said...

or on the other hand, us girls generally can't stay on the same page for long term, so just use your patience and wait for the ripple effect! lol

thanks captain!

Paperback Writer said...

I think I agree with The Curmudgeon and Merlyn Gabriel! Be careful!

TX said...

perhaps I should visit the enterprise?

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

So who sets off the metal dector more? Seven with all those implants or Ro with all that ear hardwear? I just saying that is a lot of metal on her head.


Seven and Ro each have their opinions with regards to the Borgs and Cardassians. To change their attitudes towards them, it won't just take too short a time to condition their minds to accept them.

Shelley said...

I can think of a few folks who should attend this Attitude Adjustment Class...where can I sign them up? LOL!

karaoke queen said...

He he. I just wanted to say I like your blog. I basically just lurk - but I enjoy. TNG was my favourite Star Trek. Thanks for the great stories!

Florence said...

Dolls of Diplomacy, indeed;) Don't retire just yet though, Captain.

Superstar said...

Caaptain, you addressed the HOW but left out the WHY and dealing with STRONG females, addressing the whole picture is crucial. It's possible you forgot the most important thing about any female..."what's in it for me?".
Ask Beverly...she will agree with me.
Tea? Earl Grey. HOT. 2 sweet?

August said...

the new novel by jane starbust austentia:

racism and prejudice: a startling tale of the most enduring traits that span the vast galaxy!


Grish said...

I have stopped by a few times before and thought I'd just say I enjoy reading your writings, very creative.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Curmudgeon, Merlyn, Lahdeedah, Radical One, I agree that women can be a powerful force together,

TX, a visit to the Enterprise by a Terminatrix might not be too popular.

Army of (Cl)one, I'm sure both of them set up a lot of alarms.

Friday, good point.

Shelley, I can think of lots of people as well. Actually, we have that course at my office.

Karaoke Queen, Grish, thanks for the compliment.

Florence, no plans to by me!

Superstar, August, you make good points as well.

Jaime H. said...


Wedge Antillies said...

Captain, on my ship "Attitude Ajdustment" consists of a beverage with several types of intoxicants. Maybe you should take the ladys to 10-forward and loosen them up first.

Wedge Antillies said...

Captain, on my ship and "Attitude Adjustment" is a beverage than includes several types of intoxicants. I recommend that you take the ladies to 10-forward and loosen them up first.

Trinity13 said...

Hmmm, the best of friends are they?! They'll be up to something now.

Captain Berk said...

You should encourage the two girls friendship.

Then set them against each other in a battle of wills.

Bask in your power!

Then relax...

Spider-Man said...

Oh boy... good luck, Captain...

mominprogress said...

Hello here via Michele today :)

Me said...

Your first mistake was having two eye rolling, smart mouth, holier than thou women in the same class!

Nienke said...

As Captain, all you have to say is, "Make it so!" If Ro and Seven don't comply, then send 'em to the brigg!

Here in a roundabout way via Michele's.

Twist of Kate said...

I think you did the right thing! :) Hi, here from Michele's.

RennyBA said...

Hello, Michele sent me and I'll ad hi from Norway. Have a great end to your week:-)

Pop! said...

Open a channel...

Ah, Captain, what a fascinating problem you face. After all, if getting oneself to behave the way one wants is hard enough, convincing two others to must be even harder!

Might I suggest that for the next class you introduce some sort of incentive for each of them? What sort of incentives would they like? Or you could, as Nienke said, simply throw them in the brig for misbehaving. “And you’re not coming out until you have thought deeply about what you said to that poor admiral!”—Like that!

...End transmission.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ro & Seven are both rebels; if they team up I could have trouble there, as Kelly said.

Welcome Pop!, Rennyba, Nienke, Mominprogress. Glad to have you here.

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