Thursday, February 16, 2006

Deanna Versus Jadzia

All seems well with the world for now.

As Jadzia Dax is on temporary reassignment here on the Enterprise, Worf and Riker are now friends again. There are no more threats like , "I'll get you when my shift ends!"

The only problem is with Deanna.

Her assignations with Worf when Riker is not around have now ended. She has tried to sneak in when Jadzia is not around, but both Riker and Jadzia have been too alert to let her get away with it.

Jadzia, who is now part of Security, walks around with Worf holding hands constantly. I see them pass Deanna and she sticks a tongue out at the Counselor.

Sigh. Another fight starts between the two of them. They tussle again at their hair and punches are exchanged along with screams. Officers come and separate the two after getting hit by stray punches as well.

The two of them are both in my office.

"Deanna and Jadzia," I wearily say to them, "I am getting tired of the petty rivalry between the two of you. If Jadzia is going to stay on the Enterprise, I want the two of you to be friends."

The two of them look at each other with bitter anger.

"I can see this isn't going to be settled easily" I say, "How about a competition?"

"One in which I can beat Troi to a pulp?" beams Jadzia.

"No, Jadzia" I groan, "I mean one in the holodeck in which the two of you can compete against each other."

"...And the winner gets Worf?" asks Deanna.

"I'll win easily!" shouts Jadzia, "You are history, Troi!"

The two look at each other grimly, but withhold from fighting; thank goodness there is an end in sight to all this.

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We're in Holodeck One. In the first of three tests, we have a holographic mountain that the two ladies have to climb. First to the top wins.

The staff all see the women start the climb; Jadzia starts easily, but an attempt to get there quicky makes her fall a few feet. Deanna catches up and is about to overtake her. Jadzia then uses the Counselor's shoulder to leap up higher and get to the top first.

"Cheat! Cheat!" shouts Deanna, "She used my shoulder to get to the top!"

"All the rules say is that the first to the top is judged the winner, Troi" laughs Jadzia, "And that's me!"

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Test two is about to begin. A game of Kadiscot takes place in Ten Forward. Both women are good players, and the game is evenly matched. Deanna glances at Data who blinks at her. She then produces then winning move.

"Kadiscot!" Deanna trumphantly declares.

"Cheat! Cheat!" shouts Jadzia, "Data was giving her help in the game!"

"The rules say is the first to declare "Kadiscot" is judged the winner, Dax" laughs Deanna, "And that's me!"

I think I'm getting a headache again. I wonder if Beverly has got some stress pills?

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The third and deciding test is about to begin.

We are back in the holodeck; both women are dressed like Lara Croft; they have phaser rifles and disrupters.

"For this final test," "I tell them, all sorts of alien enemies will be coming at the two of in the caves created by the holodeck. Your job is to kill as many hostile aliens as possible in the 15 minutes you have."

As we watch, the scoreboard on the top illustrates how well the women are doing. Borg, Romulan Xindi and all other hostile forces are rapidly despatched by both Deanna and Jadzia as their guns blaze away at them. There are just a few seconds to go; the women are in the cave together, and the score is 76 each. Suddenly, a hostile Klingon comes round with a bat'leth. Deanna is frozen; she must be thinking of Worf. Jadzia, however, wastes no time and obliterates the Klingon. She wins 77 to 76.

"I've won! I won!" yells Jadzia, "Hasta La Vista, Troi!"

"Unfair!" shouts Deanna, "I couldn't have killed a Klingon."

"Sorry, Counselor." I say, "Jadzia has won, and she will be able to stay with Worf from now on. Don't forget, you still have Commander Rik...."

Deanna storms off with an angry look.

Jadzia comes up and kisses Worf.

"I'm glad we've settled that, Worfie, darling."

I wish I could be as sure; there's nothing so tricky as an enraged Betazoid.

16 comments:

poopie said...

I love a good hair pullin' cat fight ;)

dddragon said...

And what does Riker have to say about all of this?

Helen Louise said...

We are back in the holodeck; both women are dressed like Lara Croft; they have phaser rifles and disrupters.

You've just given hundreds of teenage boys everywhere a new fantasy :D

Poor Riker. Worf gets two ladies, Deanna gets two men, what's poor ol' Riker to do?

Big Joe Fixit said...

heh ya got pictueres of dem in the Croft oufits?

Professor Xavier said...

Now this could just be my favorite post on this blog. Two Laura Croft's. Yummy!

xtessa said...

where's the mud wrestling?;)

by the way, what does Riker say about all this?!

Jardena said...

Go Jadiza! And why should Troi get two men? And why does Riker put up with all of this? And I'll stop asking so many questions. I'm just happy Jadiza won :)

Ciera said...

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. LOL

no_average_girl said...

bless the counselor's heart! honestly, she should put any man behind her who is willing to have two women...she deserves better!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Hold on, everybody! There are NO pictures of Deanna & Jadzia in Lara Croft gear.

Riker, I think, tries to turn a blind eye to it all. He's lucky to still have Deanna!

Xtessa, I'm surprised at you! Wanting to see mud wrestling! Actually, there isn't a lot of mud in the corridors of the Enterprise.

Anonymous said...

Dressed like Lara Croft, huh? Heh heh.

Michele sent moi!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh My Yes! Deliver me from The Betazoids!!

Here from Michele today, Jean-Luc!

Trinity13 said...

Yeah Jadzia, that's my girl!

Viamarie said...

What a competition. Cheers to Jadzia!

Happy weekend!

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

You bet it's so boring to hear the fighting all the time. I guess the future hasn't changed much from the 20th Century to the 24th Century. Fighting still there. Women fight over men and men fight over women. This is just not right for the future. No change at all...

Vegeta said...

After seeing the Hot stuff post I must say Captian Picard makes an Ugly Woman.