Riker, Geordi, Worf, Data and myself are in the shuttle after returning from an Away Mission. We are journeying to rendezvous with the Enterprise.
"Captain," says Geordi, "What do you think we should be getting our ladyfriends this Valentine's Day?"
Everyone turns round and has a worried look on their faces; clearly they haven't thought too deeply on this subject. They realise they will be in for it if they don't get them a good gift.
"Err..that depends on the individual, of course." I say in a statement that doesn't help at all.
"It's just that Trisha has given be a long list of Valentine's presents." continues Geordi, "I think she expects me to get her all of them."
We take a look at all the presents only the list: perfumes, classy clothes, exotic jewelry.
"She certainly has good taste." I mention.
"Expensive taste." Geordi groans.
"What will you be getting Doctor Crusher, Captain." asks Riker.
"Ahh...errr....Bever....I mean Dr Crusher will be quite content with some white roses. After all, err...a Captain can't be seen to show too many romantic gestures. One has to be err...discreet in these matters."
Riker puts on one of those smug smiles of his when he doesn't believe a word I'm going to say. Why does he seem to guess everything.
"What do you think Jennifer would like, Captain." asks Data, "I am not used to buying presents for a woman. Do you really think she wants anything?"
"If you don't," replies Geordi, "She'll switch your 'Off Button', and throw you down the garbage chute faster than you know."
"What about you, Number One?" I ask Riker, "What will you be getting Counselor Troi?"
"I've booked the holodeck for a romantic evening with Deanna on the luxury beaches of Alaxon Prime. When the sun goes there, it looks so gorgeous."
Worf is looking increasingly irritated. Oh dear.
"I was going to take Deanna to Alaxon Prime on the holodeck as a surprise!" shouts Worf.
"Hey!" says Riker, "She's my girl; what do you think you're doing, muscling in on my territory?"
"Deanna is MY woman!" shouts Worf.
The two approach each other as if there is going to be a fight. On a shuttle, it is not the best place for a Klingon to start getting angry.
"Gentlemen!" I say in my best commanding tone. Sort this out on the Enterprise! Declare a truce for now."
The two grudgingly look at each other.
"Lieutenant" I whisper to Worf, "You might be better in getting something for Jadzia Dax instead, otherwise things could be awkward."
Worf mumbles a few Klingon phrases that are not suitable for this Journal.
Valentine's Day is not all love and fondness in the 24th Century, it seems.