Sunday, February 12, 2006

Borg Sales Office


Hello, and welcome to our Borg Sales Office.

We are here to show you some of our very latest alcoves that are available for you at no price whatsoever.

Where else can you get a bargain like that.

The say the Borg are mean and nasty, but how can that be, when we are giving them away? The Ferengi would sell them!

You just have to go though our little 'initiation process' and a shining new alcove will all be yours, with your very own nanoprobes. When ever we don't want you, you can remain there all day and regenerate.

Isn't that fun!

Now I'll just hand you over to my assistant:


This is Seven Of Nine, who is part of Unimatrix 01 on my Cube. She is here to help answer any questions you may have. I must admit, I'm a little jealous of her. Seven always gets more Valentine's Cards than I do from the other drones.

I'll leave you in Seven's capable hands; now then, ask any questions you wish to her.


Will I feel any pain if I join the Collective?

"Feelings are irrelevant!"

What if I don't like being in the Borg? Can I choose to leave?

"Choices are irrelevant!"

What if I object to my alcove?

"Resistance is Futile!"

What if I don't want to take my children to the Maturation Chamber?

"Children are irrelevant!"

What if I don't think a vessel should be assimilated?

"We are the Borg. Resistance is Futile!"


Er, thank you, Seven Of Nine, for that illuminating Question-And-Answer session. I think you might need to work a little on your presentational skills a little, there.

Now, ladies, gentlemen and children, be sure to pick up a sales brochure on the way to the Assimilation Chamb....I mean the Exit.

I'm sure we'll be seeing you all again....very soon.


Lisa said...

umm... I think I'll pass on the whole alcove thing... lol...
michele sent me!

Carmi said...

If Jeri Ryan wants to assimilate me, I'm willing to listen. Otherwise, I'll stick closer to home.

Still, that whole whizzing through space in a ginormous cube thing is pretty intriguing.

Vegeta said...

be seeing me soon eh? good it's been a while since I ki blasted something into a black hole

Jabafatboy said...

Ya know shes even good looking with all the stuff attached.

Ever notice that they dont have no Hutt Borg

Lori said...

I think this is a trap!!!...LOL

Have a great day!!!

-xtessa- said...

ah seven... you'll snag more guys if you let your hair grow...

Vampirella said...

hmm I wonder what would happen if you crossed a vampire and a borge?

I can see it now

Queen Borg, "5 of 2 you were suppose to assimulate that vessel."

5 of 2 "I did"

Queen Borg, "They are no good to assimulate if you bleed them dry. How many times do I have to tell you assimulate and bleed the Hutts dry :P"

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Once again I have to say that even though it must be some kind of wacky fun to be assimilated by ther Borg, I reluctantly am going to have to pass. Thank you.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Now, these images give an entirely new meaning to the term, 'eye candy.'

Trinity13 said...

Since I've been hooked up to a collective before, I think I'll pass!

Ciera said...

Uhm...I'm quite certain that I'll be out of town the weekend you come visiting...No, that's ok, no need to call to see when I'm gonna be home, I'll call you.

Running2Ks said...

Ooh, I have horrible chills right about now!


Helen Louise said...

Awesome! Can I be 17 of 57 please?

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Well, at least 7 of 9 was pretty honest, don't always get that from sales people


I guess there's not much of a choice. Almost questions were answered either by an irrelevant answer or futile

no_average_girl said...

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Mailman said...

I have a Valentine's card from Vampirella

Captain Berk said...

She is so unwaveringly strict! I like the dominant types because i usually end up having to tear my shirt off and roll around on the floor to get their attention.

They also dislike small talk which I am terrible at.

Jaime H. said...


Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think Seven will never make a good salesperson; she's too honest!

M. C. Pearson said...

I've always loved the humanity of seven of nine.

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