Sunday, February 05, 2006

The Buck Stops Here

The scanners of the Enterprise have found a vessel floating in space; it apprantly has one human lifesign on it.

"The ship is a NASA one and is nearly 400 years old." says Data.

"Do you know which one it is?" I ask,

"Apparantly, it is Ranger 3, an experimental deep space vessel that was secretly launched in 1987. It's pilot is a Captain William Rogers."

"Let's wake him up and welcome him to the 24th Century" I say, "He'll have quite a shock to find that he's been frozen in space for 400 years."


Ranger 3 is taken to Cargo Bay 2, where Captain Rogers is woken up; he looks puzzled. He emerges wearing a white space outfit with flares.

"Where am I?" he asks.

"I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise." I announce, "You've been frozen in space for over 400 years; all you friends are dead; welcome to the 24th Century."

He looks shocked, but says , " me Buck, Captain Picard."

Deanna whispers to me, "Captain, I think he could have received the news in a more subtle manner than that."

"Wow!" says Buck, looking at Deanna, "What a hot babe! You and I could make sweet music together. How about a date later?"

Both Riker and Worf look irritated, but Deanna marches up and slaps Buck on the face.

"I am not a hot babe!" Deanna shouts at him, "Us women have far more rights than we did in 1987."

She walks away in a huff.

"I'll have to watch my step around here!" Buck says to me.

I notice he has an extra large gun in his holster.

"That looks a little dangerous, Captain Rogers," I say, "Do you mind if we have that?"

"What about all the hostile aliens around?" he protests, "What am I going to incinerate them with? There's one for a start!"

He looks at Worf.

"Lieutenant Worf is a member of my crew." I tell him, "He is not a hostile alien."

Well, most of the time he isn't. Those other Klingons can be a bit cross at times.

"In the 24th Century" I educate Buck, "We promote peace, harmony and galactric brotherhood within the United Federation of Planets."

"You all sound like a bunch of space hippies if you ask me." replies Buck, "All right then, where's the nearest Space Princess?"

"Sorry?" I ask him, "What do you mean, Buck?"

"A Space Princess." the Captain says, "The young leader of a planet who I'll probably fall in love with for a while. It doesn't matter if she's good or evil. I'll be able to make her redeem her bad self. If there's none around, the leader of a tribe of Amazonian Warriors will do."

"Err....sorry, Buck, there are no Space Princesses or Amazonian Warriors around at all." I tell him.

He thinks for a moment and shakes his head.

"Look, Captain Picard, "I don't think you should have woken me up here. This is such a dull place; there aren't hostile aliens, there are no Space Princesses and no one wears trendy flares. Can you put me back in Ranger 3 and freeze me, so that I wake up in a time when I'm needed?"

"If that's what you want, Buck." I say, "Dr Crusher will erase your short term memory and put you back in Ranger 3."


Buck is put in the ship and Ranger 3 drifts again through space.

"Do you think he'll find what he wants, Jean-Luc?" asks Beverly.

"If he is woken in a time when he can sort out problems by himself, fall in love consistantly with Space Princesses and Amazonian Warriors and be in a world where everybody wears flares, he'll be more than happy, Beverly."


Vampirella said...

maybe what he needs is a different deminsion not a differnt time :P

gnome said...

Really great work.... Not a constructive comment, but true :)

Professor Xavier said...

Bee-dee bee-dee bee. What's up, Buck?

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

He has such simple requests, I am just so so surprised they weren't met in your time :)

Running2Ks said...

Dang space hippies, LOL!

Barbara said...

I didn't know Buck was around in 1987.

M. C. Pearson said...

I loved Buck. Bet he and Berk...I mean Kirk would've gotten long as there were always two space princesses.

Shoot first. Ask questions later. Kiss the girls...

craziequeen said...


speaks volumes, JL :-)


Helen Louise said...

Haha! I love Buck Rogers. I'm sure it'll come right for him in the 25th century, Captain.

Trinity13 said...

He should just wake up in a galaxy far far away...maybe during some sort of Star...Wars?


Jaime H. said...


oh, too funny! I miss that show.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Barbara, if you see the tv show, you will see that Ranger 3 left Earth in 1987.

There seemed to be too much disco and flares in that show!

Unfortunately, the Enterprise didn't have Twiki; I wonder if Data would have sufficed?

Lori said...

Maybe he needed more explore the Holadeck!!!...LOL

Have a great day!!!

Ciera said...

Too funny! Spce Hippies!!!!! LOL!

dddragon said...

Perhaps he would have been happier in the Delta Quadrant?

Pieces said...

Im lost on this one..LOL definitely happens...TTYL ;-)

Jen said...

I used to LOVE that show! How funny!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Remember the space disco where everyone was dancing with light loops? That was something.

And Captain, don't they have some kind of class at the Academy that teaches you how to revive astronauts in suspended animation? There's gotta be a better way than saying "Hi, welcome to the future, everyone you know is dead."


Well he deserves to be brought back to his ship. He does not deserve being in your ship.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

What would The Borg Queen do if she encountered Buck? I suppose it would be like when he met Princess Ardala.

I seem to have quite a knowledge of Buck Rogers trivia!

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