The Buck Stops Here

The scanners of the Enterprise have found a vessel floating in space; it apprantly has one human lifesign on it.

"The ship is a NASA one and is nearly 400 years old." says Data.

"Do you know which one it is?" I ask,

"Apparantly, it is Ranger 3, an experimental deep space vessel that was secretly launched in 1987. It's pilot is a Captain William Rogers."

"Let's wake him up and welcome him to the 24th Century" I say, "He'll have quite a shock to find that he's been frozen in space for 400 years."

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Ranger 3 is taken to Cargo Bay 2, where Captain Rogers is woken up; he looks puzzled. He emerges wearing a white space outfit with flares.

"Where am I?" he asks.

"I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise." I announce, "You've been frozen in space for over 400 years; all you friends are dead; welcome to the 24th Century."



He looks shocked, but says , "Err..call me Buck, Captain Picard."

Deanna whispers to me, "Captain, I think he could have received the news in a more subtle manner than that."

"Wow!" says Buck, looking at Deanna, "What a hot babe! You and I could make sweet music together. How about a date later?"

Both Riker and Worf look irritated, but Deanna marches up and slaps Buck on the face.

"I am not a hot babe!" Deanna shouts at him, "Us women have far more rights than we did in 1987."

She walks away in a huff.

"I'll have to watch my step around here!" Buck says to me.

I notice he has an extra large gun in his holster.

"That looks a little dangerous, Captain Rogers," I say, "Do you mind if we have that?"

"What about all the hostile aliens around?" he protests, "What am I going to incinerate them with? There's one for a start!"

He looks at Worf.

"Lieutenant Worf is a member of my crew." I tell him, "He is not a hostile alien."

Well, most of the time he isn't. Those other Klingons can be a bit cross at times.

"In the 24th Century" I educate Buck, "We promote peace, harmony and galactric brotherhood within the United Federation of Planets."

"You all sound like a bunch of space hippies if you ask me." replies Buck, "All right then, where's the nearest Space Princess?"

"Sorry?" I ask him, "What do you mean, Buck?"

"A Space Princess." the Captain says, "The young leader of a planet who I'll probably fall in love with for a while. It doesn't matter if she's good or evil. I'll be able to make her redeem her bad self. If there's none around, the leader of a tribe of Amazonian Warriors will do."

"Err....sorry, Buck, there are no Space Princesses or Amazonian Warriors around at all." I tell him.

He thinks for a moment and shakes his head.

"Look, Captain Picard, "I don't think you should have woken me up here. This is such a dull place; there aren't hostile aliens, there are no Space Princesses and no one wears trendy flares. Can you put me back in Ranger 3 and freeze me, so that I wake up in a time when I'm needed?"

"If that's what you want, Buck." I say, "Dr Crusher will erase your short term memory and put you back in Ranger 3."

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Buck is put in the ship and Ranger 3 drifts again through space.

"Do you think he'll find what he wants, Jean-Luc?" asks Beverly.

"If he is woken in a time when he can sort out problems by himself, fall in love consistantly with Space Princesses and Amazonian Warriors and be in a world where everybody wears flares, he'll be more than happy, Beverly."