Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Three)

Day Three of the Party, which is now in full swing.


We start with Professor Charles Xavier :

Reed Richards was kind enough to use the time travel device he had captured from Dr. Doom to transport Cyclops and I to the designated rendezvous point on stardate 52157.3.

"Hey Professor, do you think there's gonna be some of them Orion slave girls?" Scott asked.

"I feel fully confident that slavery is still illegal in the future Scott," I told him. His disappointment was pathetic.

Suddenly we were bathed in an eerie white light. I felt like my body was disintegrating. The next thing I knew I was staring into a mirror. The only problem was, the image staring back at me was standing on his own two feet and wearing a high school marching band uniform.

"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard," the image told me. "Welcome to the Enterprise!"

"Thank you for having us, Captain. This is certainly an impressive-"

Before I could get another word out, a giant furry white beast with a giant yellow horn in the middle of it's head and claws long enough to make Wolverine doubt his adequacy raced between us. Following closely on his heals was Jon, the Intergalactic Gladiator.

"Hey, what's up Cyclops!" he yelled as he ran past us, in hot pursuit of the monster.

They dashed around a corner and we heard a rather large crash followed by some rather high-pitched screams. "It's just a costume man!" echoed through the corridor. "Game over, man! Game over!"

The Captain directed us to 10 Forward, where the festivities were already well underway. A very friendly African American lady with a rather strange hat kept the Cognac flowing and a good time was had by all. Merry X-Mas everyone!


Now coming in is Jon, the Intergalactic Gladiator , who has:

I grabbed my party invitation, put on my nice suit and was heading for the Danger Sled when Private Hudson stopped me.

"Say, Jon, where are you going?" he asked.

"Oh, uh," I tried to keep the invitation out of his sight. "I have, uh, someplace to go."

It didn't work, he saw it. "Hey, that's one of those invitations to the Enterprise Christmas party, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I conceded. "Well, I gotta get going, you know what with crossing time and space and all that."

"I didn't get one," he sighed.

"That's too bad," I said. "I guess it got lost in the mail or something, huh?"

"Yeah, or something." He shoved his hands in his pockets and made a face like he just took a huge bite out of a stinkbug.

"Well, I have to get going," I tried to get around him, but he stepped in front of me again.

"Isn't that an invite for two?" he pried. "Doesn't that say that you can bring a date."

I looked it over like it was the first time I've read it. "Hmmm, why yes it does say that. Interesting."

"Are you bringing a date?" Hudson looked at me with puppy dog eyes.

"My wife can't go," I answered. "I have to get going."

Here it comes.

"Well, then can I go?"

"Hudson, I am not going to bring you to a Christmas party as a date." I said.

"Aw come on," he whined. "It's not like we're dating each other. I'm just your guest. Sheesh."

"No, I can't" I tried, "It just wouldn't be proper."

"Come on, it's the 24th Century. I'm sure they'll understand."



"I just can't."

"Please please please please please please please please please!" Then he added. "I'll be really good. I'll totally leave my M41A Pulse Rifle at home."

"Look, Hudson, it's just..." I trailed off. How could I explain that he's behaving like Chester the Dog in that old Bugs Bunny cartoon, bouncing all around Spike, trying to be his friend and all.

"Please?" His eyes sparkled with hope.

".................................................................................All right," I conceded. "But you owe me one."

"Yay!" Hudson jumped up and down. OK, technically, he just jumped up and gravity brought him down. You know what I'm saying. "Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, you're the bestest."

"Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that!"

The trip was uneventful, Hudson spent the time cleaning his rifle and reading a magazine that featured bikini-clad women holding different firearms. The Danger Sled came out of warp and the Enterprise came into view. My communications gear pinged to life.

"Unidentified ship, the is the Enterprise," came a deep bass voice over the radio. "Please identify yourself."

"This is Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator and, uh, guest." I replied.

There was a moment of silence.

"Proceed to the docking bay," The voice growled. "Security will meet you to welcome you aboard."

There was another moment of silence, another growl over the speaker and finally the voice said "And Merry Christmas from the Enterprise."

I entered the docking bay and landed my ship on the deck. Hudson was jumping up and down with excitement. I was worried that he might soil himself, but he seemed OK. He straightened his tie and put on his combat helmet. "I'm ready, man," he said. "It's game over for all the lovely ladies on the Enterprise."

I rolled my eyes and released the hatch. With a hiss it slid open and a towering figure stood before us. Hudson didn't see the person at first and continued talking.

"Oh yeah, the H-Man is on the deck. My mission, and I choose to accept it, is to rescue the beautiful babes from their boring lives. Oh yeah, it's game --" He looked up at the man greeting us and saw the scowl, the ridges on the forehead, and the towering presence of Worf. "G-- g-- game over...?"

The self-proclaimed H-Man yiped, dove away from the door, and ran to the back of my ship.

"Permission to come aboard," I requested.

"Permission granted," replied Worf. "Welcome aboard. Is your.... guest coming?" Worf peered into my ship but we couldn't see Hudson from our angle.

"Hudson!" I called out. "Are you coming to the party?"

"Nuh uh," he squeaked, then he cleared his throat. "Er, I mean, I have something to do here first. I'll come out when everything's clear. I mean, when I've cleared these, uh, requisition forms. Yeah."

"Very well," Worf called to him. "When you exit the landing bay, follow the instructions posted to get to the Ten Forward."

"OK, thank you," he called back. "I'll be out in a little while."

Worf and I exited the bay and took the turbolift to the lounge. Captain Picard was standing at the entrance, he looked very sharp in his uniform, but I could see a haggard look creep across his face. It appeared that he had been putting up with a shipload of people's inconveniences all day.

"Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator," he shook my hand. "Welcome to the Enterprise and the party!"

"Thank you Captain," I replied. "You look well, thank you for having me."

"It is my pleasure and it is good to see you again," Picard said. "There's just one thing, though."


"You aren't planning on singing are you? Uh, we already have a band hired and you know these rock or roll stars, they get miffed when someone wants to take some of their spotlight and all."

"Oh no problem," I reassured him. "I just came to enjoy the party and have a few Old Mos Eisley beers."

"Ah yes, well, I do not believe the we have that particular brew available," the Captain conceded. "We have other very good brands available, however. Would you care for a Decker the Halls ale or a Mudd Genuine Draft? We also have some very good double malt Montgomery Scotch, and of course some very lovely wines from the Picard Vineyards."

"I'll try a Decker, thanks." I walked over to the bar and ordered a beer from Guinan. After that, I made my rounds, introducing myself to most of the other party guests.

Eventually Hudson got to the party. He saluted Captain Picard sharply and looked around for any sign of Worf. When he saw that the security chief was not near the bar, he went over and got himself a colorful drink. He spent much of his night staying on the other side of the bar from Worf. I, on the other hand, spent much of my time trying to stand near Worf.


Lastly today, there is CrazieQueen who has:

I walked tentatively into Ten Forward, clutching the small box in my hand. My long blue dress shimmered with the glitter of a thousand stars and my long hair lay over my shoulders. I knew I looked good, but then I had been preparing for this opportunity for years.
I passed Riker who was chatting to Troi, and waved to Guinan who was serving at the bar. She quickly poured me a Bajoran brandy and brought it over.
‘How did you know my drink?’ I asked
‘I’m 900 years old,’ she replied with a wide smile ‘I know everything!’
I took the glass of green liquid and, sipping gently on it, looked around the big room. Beverley Crusher and Will Riker had done a wonderful job in decorating the bar. There were tendrils of blue Andorian crystal ice draped across tables, deep reds of Klingon wall hangings covered the windows and the walls and the vibrant green of Vulcan P’Kel branches decorated the bar and the doorways. It was a wonderfully warm and inviting environment. Geordi had even set the air-conditioning to give out a slight tang of pine forest, mixed with a faint aroma of cinnamon. So this was Christmas. Obviously, I had read of Christmas in school, but had never heard of a party being thrown for such an antiquated celebration. I wondered why it was no longer done, the room was so comforting and inviting, and even the tables were lit by myriad small lights set into the glass tops. I felt warm and excited. Finally, I was to meet my destiny, here on this ship.
I tightened my grip on the small box and looked around. Was he here?
Suddenly, I saw a flicker of gold and there he was. Data. Unlike everyone else, he was still wearing his uniform and the gold of his clothes matched his skin perfectly, set off by the black flashes of his jacket. His hair was, as always, perfectly coiffeured, but then – he didn’t need to have it cut, or styled. His yellow eyes followed his shipmates around the room as he tried to pick up yet more social graces.
I came to a stop at his side, slightly breathless, my glass already drained of its Bajoran brandy. He turned and the beautiful yellow eyes focused on me.
‘Can I help you?’ asked this oh so gentle voice, and he looked into my eyes. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from those beautiful gold eyes.
‘I have a present for you, Mr Data,’ I stammered, holding out the little parcel. He took it and slowly unwrapped the silver paper to reveal a small box. He opened the box and his eyes widened in surprise.
‘It appears to be an emotion chip!’ he said.
‘Yes,’ I replied with a now or never feeling. ‘It is one of a kind, created by your father before he died – as was I.’
‘You? You are an android?’
‘Positronic brain, anatomically correct and everything. My name is Eve,’ I answered with a slight flex of my fingers as if wanting to reach out to him. It was so easy to lie convincingly to such a beautiful machine, yet I felt a pang of guilt that I was having to trick him.
‘So what is the chip for?’ he asked, turning it over in his golden hands.
‘It’s a Lust chip. I have one fitted too. They are attuned to each other.’
‘So, if I use this, I will be attracted to you? Physically?’
‘Yes, Dr Soong decided against the Love chip and went with Lust. He said to tell you it was part of your learning curve,’ I paused ‘and to wish you a Happy Christmas.’
Geordi La Forge came over, Data introduced us and then asked Geordi to fit the chip.
Once the chip was installed, Data turned to me with a broad smile that made him appear years younger and he issued a lascivious wink.
‘May I show you my quarters?’ he asked, holding out his arm in a gentlemanly fashion, and wrapping my hand tight in his golden fist.
‘Only if I can show you mine,’ I giggled, passing my empty glass to an open-mouthed and shocked Geordi as we left the room, arms entwined and bodies in perfect harmony.


And with that, the Third Day ends. On Thursday, at 6pm English Time, (1pm EST), the fourth group of entries will be shown.


Jen said...

I always wondered what would happen if Professor X and Captain Picard were in the same place at the same time...

Jon, I love the distinction you made in "Jumping up and down!" It is a silly phrase, isn't it?

Crazie Queen, have a great evening!

Ciera said...

Another good day of party stories! :)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Data baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl
Data baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight...

dddragon said...

LOL, jon!

Lovin' the stories, what fun!

Lady Wyntir said...

Prof. X - i almost doubled over in laughter when i realized the play on images you had there!! excellent job, band uniform indeed!

Jon tIG - That hudson sounds like he should "befriend" a Klingon woman to cure him of those fears... hahahahahaha Jon is very comfortable with Starfleet protocol - well done.

Crazy Queen - i thought at first i wouldn't like the story, but you ended it well!! Leaving the deed to the imagination, you've left my Data Shrine intact!! hahahaha gotta love Brent Spiner!

Keep 'em coming!

~wyn ^_^

Professor Xavier said...

This has been a fun party! What a great idea. Hopefully this will be a regular event.

Nic said...

Well, if the room is a rockin' don't bother knockin', I guess. Go Data! Git Er Done.

I have been thoroughly enjoying all the stories the past three days! So amusing and interesting to see the party through some of the other guests eyes. I'd sure love to do this again next year, Captain Picard. Hint-Hint!

Running2Ks said...


Jon, that Hudson--great giving him the slip by hanging near Worf. What a priceless description.

Crazy Queen--I am just dying to know how Data was. So many women tried before, but "Eve" succeeded!

M. C. Pearson said...

Professor~ Very funny! Loved the band uniform and the mirror Picard.

Gladiator~ Hilarious...I wanted to smack Hudson upside the head!

Queen~ Your dream date, huh? Okay. But will Geordi ever get that image out of his mind? Poor guy.

Captain Berk said...

Craziequeen, I have a vague memory of trying to use your stomach as a microwave to heat up an Irish Coffee that got cold whilst I was on the dancefloor.

Sorry. I'll send you that wiring in the post.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I've really been enjoying the entries myself. It'll emd tomorrow (Friday) with the last two entries plus my own account.

I'd love the party to be an annual event as well. You all write so well!

craziequeen said...

Would I kiss and tell??

Course I would :-)

But I'm still catching my breath [wink]


November Rain said...

stumble by via Jon the interglac gladiator...

Professor mirror image LOL
Jon lol hanging arounf worf (you could have said your date is meeting you there ) poor Hudson

CQ -- you have a blast
multiply techniques all I can say is yehaw baby doll lol

okay I have to dive in and read past post if no one hears from me after a month send someone to save me LOL


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