The crew have all now returned to the Enterprise after their Christmas break.
It was clearly a mistake going to the Captain's Conference on Vulcan. Who was the idiot who decided to hold the event there? After all, it's not exactly a fun place.
I was waiting for the dinner to start.
"Where are the party hats?" I asked the large Vulcan official, named Shrak. "What games will there be after dinner?"
"Vulcan does not believe in those sort of things." Shrak said coldly, "We supressed those emotions many years ago. Instead, you shall have a bare morsel and then talk about Federation matters."
The whole thing sounded like a politically correct office party that went on in the early 21st Century.
All of the Captains were relieved when it was all over, and we could return to the starships.
The systems were all re-activated, and the EMH carries on speaking; it wasn't exactly flattering to me.
"What happened?" he asks.
"We've switched you back on; it's after Christmas."
"Well that's typical!" he complains, "You switch me off and on whenevner you feel like it. I miss all the interesting things that go on."
Yes, like my trip to Vulcan, I thought.
Data and Jennifer Baxter are back from their trip to the Vega Gambling Resort. Data is wearing a striped uniform with 'FERENGI JAIL' on the back.
"How did you two get on?" I ask.
"Not too well." replies Jennifer, "The Ferengi soon found out we were using Data's positronic brain as we started winning credits. As the tables were obviously fixed, no one is ever supposed to win anything."
"So what happened next?"
"Data was put in the brig, and I had to use all our spending money to get him out. They added they won't press further charges as long as he doesn't say anything about the fixed tables."
Worf has returned from his trip to the Klingon homeworld. He has a large plaster on his face and a bandaged arm.
"Whatever happened to you, Mr Worf? Were you beaten by a tough Klingon warrior?"
"Er, not exactly, sir." he replies, rather hesitatingly, "If you recall, I mentioned that Alexander was getting his first mekleth as a present for the Klingon tradition of this time. Well, he, er, became very enthusiastic with it, and er, accidentally cut me with it."
I try to stop myself laughing.
"If you'll excuse me, sir. I have to visit SickBay for Skin Regeneration."
Deanna and Riker are back from Betazed. Things were a little strained beween the two of them after they left the planet. Riker tells me that both Deanna and her mother Lwaxana tried the 'high pressure' approach in order to get him to ask Deanna to marry him. Lwaxana was so intense that at one stage, Deanna shouted to Riker, "Don't you think that about my mother!"
It's very difficult to think clearly when both one's girlfriend and her mother are telepaths.
However, they both tell me that in the privacy of the shuttle from Betazed, the two made up from their little dispute.
I wonder what that means?
Geordi had to be carried back to his shuttle on the the planet Travolta, where the Disco-A-Go-Go is situated. Trisha Lewis won the Individual Daily Disco Award for her dancing skills easily, but in the pairs, he could not keep up with Trisha, who seems to have to energy of five normal women.
He is now in the SickBay getting an extra-high dosage Adrenalin boost.
Beverly has returned from her dinner with Wes. She tells me how the kitchen was nearly destroyed of the restaurant they went to.
"Fortunately, Wes was able to save us all." Beverly tells me, "It was lucky that he decided to take a look inside the kitchen. It was only a few moments later, when he started moving the dials around, that the ovens threatened to blow up and cause an explosion big enough to wipe out the resaurant and everybody inside. Fortunately, he switched the system off just in time and everybody was all right."
"Yes, it was very lucky he was there, Beverly."
Anywhere Wesley goes is a cue for instant evacuation.
Now that the crew is back, it will be almost time to visit strange new worlds, and go where no one has gone before.
Haven't I heard that line before?