Thursday, December 08, 2005

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Four)

All the guests are here and enjoying themselves on Day Four of the Party.

Let's see some more accounts of what is happening:


First of all. Jen sends this:

While madly trying to update my blog, I received an invitation to the Enterprise Christmas Party. Well, I should say that I very nearly DIDN’T receive it, as it presented as yet another annoying pop-up. It was only through the Enterprise Party Staff’s extreme diligence that I got it, because they sent it again and again even though I kept deleting it. Man, those people take DUTY seriously! Finally I gave in and clicked on it out of sheer desperation, and I’m so glad I did!

After spending a few days stressing about what to wear (finally settling on a full length gown that squeezed where I need it and uplifted other sections to their pre-horde glory) I was set to go. I kissed the husband and the horde goodbye and promised to be back in a second or two…gotta love that time travel!

Immediately upon arrival I was greeted by Deanna Troi, who perceived that I needed a drink. Somehow she was also able to tell that I don’t drink alcohol, but I’m always up for a good stiff dose of caffeine and artificial sweetener. Maybe it’s her big hair that helps channel other people’s thoughts? It must be, because as soon as I thought that I was treated to a very ugly look and was dumped unceremoniously on Guinan with no introduction at all. Memo to me: If you don’t have anything nice to think, don’t think anything at all!

Guinan was much more helpful, producing a huge and powerful drink that she promised would put our 21st Century Diet Coke to shame. She wouldn’t tell me what was in it, because that would violate the Prime Directive, but my best guess is that the ingredients came straight from heaven by way of some dark den in Amsterdam, if you catch my drift. She assured me she would keep it flowing, and I held her to it.

I talked, I danced, I ate some weird little nibbles that Worf suggested (after chasing them around the plate a little, it was not a highlight but it hardly seemed prudent to decline.) I kept trying to think nice thoughts at Deanna, but she was either too busy to notice, or she was ignoring me. I even made the acquaintance of Captain Picard, who’s even more charming in person than he seemed in the invitation. He graciously helped me escape as Worf came looking for me with what looked like a bucket of blood, insisting I’d love this if I’d liked the qagh.

To make good my escape of the Klingon cuisine, and make room for more of Guinan’s “Can’t Say No” Super Beverage, I figured it was a good time for a trip to the little girl’s room. I asked for directions to the public facilities, and headed down the hall. I should have known I was in trouble when I saw two doors sided by side, each with several hundred signs and diagrams indicating in all of the languages of the Federation whether it was the Men’s or Women’s room. After reading (and dancing slightly) for what seemed like twenty minutes, I saw that one clearly said “Women” in my language, and while bursting through the door, hoped “Women” didn’t mean something like “Airlock” or “Room Full of Poisonous Snakes” in some other language.

I was in luck. Sort of. It was definitely a bathroom, but I was completely unable to figure out what I was supposed to do with it. There were stalls upon stalls, all filled with what must be waste removal facilities for some kind of being somewhere, with some number of appendages. Some were twice my height, and one was so small that I worried that whomever it was meant for might be under my feet without my knowledge.

While now actively dancing (and checking the soles of my shoes for party-goers) I had a great stroke of fortune. Two vaguely humanoid women came in and headed towards some stalls near the middle of the room. I merely waited until they were done and went in after them. It was similar enough to a 21st Century toilet to get the job done, at least until the big splash and whoosh of suction at the end. And then the music…what’s up with that?

I patiently waited while the other folks in the bathroom left before I exited the stall, as I didn’t want them to know who’d been doing all the screaming. I got my dress back together and tried to slink out the door and back into the party. Who should I run into on my way out the door but, of course, Lwaxana Troi. Jeez, I thought Deanna was bad, but her mother is unbelievable!

She flat out laughed at me, then led me like a child to the proper stall for my physiology. I mumbled some words of thanks, and quickly marked the door with my lipstick, figuring I’d need it again. (Sorry, clean up crew, although judging by the rest of the night this was the least of your problems.) I also tried to tell her that I really do like Deanna’s hair, but by now everything I said was coming out sounding really stupid and I figured I’d better stop while I was ahead. I excused myself and ran off to get another drink.

Between having figured out the bathroom and the drink situation, I was set for a few more hours, and had a wonderful time telling Worf who the other 21st Century guests were, and ensuring him that they would just LOVE his scrag or whatever it was. I’m quite certain this is how he found me in the first place, and I’m making it my business to see who of my compatriots arrived at the party before me… (I did try to avoid turning him on Running2Ks as nothing in his repertoire looked even slightly vegetarian, so if he “got” you, don’t look at me.)

Soon, the party was wearing down, and I limped off to the transporter to head home. The Enterprise crew held that giving us any hints on how to create beautiful, yet comfortable party footwear was also a violation of the Prime Directive. Bullies.

I’m pretty sure I hurt the kids’ feelings when I returned home and ran past them all to hug, kiss and sing praises to the family toilet, but they’ll get over it.


Now we have a epic tale from Lady Wyntir

Lyllandra paced back and forth in her quarters, trying to make use of the spare time. The party would be in a few hours, but she could hardly keep her excitement hidden. After so many years of running away, it was time for her to return to Earth…

Three nights before, she prepared her clothing. A long, blue silk tunic studded with violet posies and pale green leaves was her first choice. Her own mother embroidered the garment and it was the last thing she had of her homeland. The blue top had matching pants that were wider at the bottom, to allow for boots, decorative or not. Silk is not very warm, but at least it would fool those at the party, let them believe she wasn’t up to anything.

Although the Enterprise crew was kind enough to save her, and others, from a prison camp back on Romulus, her past history and run-ins with StarFleet kept her locked in her quarters. This would be her one and only chance to escape.

The invitation was sent around the ship on stardate 59345.8 for a Christmas Party at Ten Forward. She would be allowed to attend for two hours, and then return to her room for the night. That two-hour time frame was just enough time to be seen, and then slip away.

“Room unlocked,” the computer chimed. The party had begun.

Lyllandra stepped from her room and made her way to Ten Forward. As others passed her, she smiled graciously, almost regally, as she looked the part. Just as she reached Ten Forward, someone grabbed her hand.

“Miss Wyntir, I’d like to remind you of the security measures for tonight.” A gruff security guard warned her. “For the safety of everyone, please, behave.”

His touch wasn’t ungentle, and he was wearing a ceremonial security outfit, not a common one worn every day.

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Even though she didn’t know his name, his rank was easy to tell by the color of his uniform. “I’ll do my best.”

And with that, she entered Ten Forward.

The band was already jamming in one corner, Guinan was behind the bar, as always, and others mingled as they arrived. Lyllandra went to one of the several replicators and asked for a Long Island Iced Tea; she needed to keep her head clear, after all.

Few gazed her way, and she was thankful for it. A small corner seat concealed her longing gaze towards the planet Earth. Although she wasn’t Betazoid, it was known that those from earth sometimes sensed things, other worldly things. This is one of the reason’s why she stayed away from Counselor Troi. Lyllandra was always afraid that her true intentions would be known if she met this woman.

Her thoughts materialized when the Counselor entered Ten Forward. Cursing into her cup, she headed deeper into the corner, hoping not to be seen. Now that she was here, there was no way to escape, except to return to her quarters.

She passed by several crew members, hoping not to get their attention when someone bumped into her.

“Hey Lilly, where you going?” A familiar face smiled down at her.

“Not now Tim, I’m not feeling well,” was all she could blurt out.

“You do look a little pale. Do you need to go to Sick Bay?”

“I’m okay, really,” Lyllandra feebly responded.

“Well at least let me see you to your quarters, okay?”

And with a nod they left Ten Forward.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I thought you’d be happy they let you come to the party,” he chuckled. “I even made homemade macaroni and cheese, just like home.”

Lyllandra stopped walking in the hallway, letting a security officer and some others pass by.

“…just like home. Tim,” she turned to him, “it’s time I go back home.”

“Shhh, not here,” He pulled her to the left where a corridor was bustling with cooks and replicators. “They’ll hear you.” Tim looked up and down the hallway, and then sighed when he felt no one was watching, or listening.

“You have to trust me. Once the party’s over, and we’re close enough, then we’ll…” a cook ran by with a plate filled with squirming Filden Gagh. Tim smiled “at least Lt. Worf will be happy tonight.”

Lyllandra turned her head feeling sicker than ever. The hallway was spinning before her and she had to swallow several times to keep from re-tasting her Long Island Iced Tea. As she clutched onto Tim’s arm for support, she was hit with a gust of warm air and suddenly she was alone.

Light broke through her darkness and she awoke on a beach. Several people were playing in the water, and Lyllandra sat up to regain her sense of location. This was the diplomatic ocean planet of Pacifica, where she first met Tim several years ago. A prank played on a Romulan here, on this very beach, caused her capture and sentence to their prison camp. A shudder ran down her spine at that memory.

Tim came up to her and laid out a plate of food. “This is my latest re-recipe,” he held out a plate of pasta covered in a florescent yellow sauce.

“What is that?” Lyllandra squinched her nose.

“You don’t remember macaroni and Cheese? Didn’t you ever have that on Earth? It was an American past time,” he laughed and started to serve it out.

Even then, he was light hearted. After all, he did live for his catering. Lyllandra closed her eyes to enjoy the sun, and when she opened them again, she was back on the Enterprise.

“I can’t wait, I have to go now.” She started to rise, and noticed she was back in her quarters.

“The guards found you roaming the halls and brought you here. One moment you were next to me, and then you disappeared. What happened?” he was less jovial this time.

“I returned to the past, somehow,” she looked at her hands as if she never saw them before. “Tim, can you help me?”

“If the time is now, so be it.” He smiled. “Though I don’t think you’ll be needing that escape pod any more. Come, let’s go to the window. It will be easier if you can view the planet itself.”

Lyllandra left the chair she was in and slowly looked out her window. Suddenly, she felt sorry for all the trouble caused aboard the Enterprise. The room that was meant to be a prison was convenient. She had a private bathroom, a replicator with an extensive menu of Earthen delights, and a window. Tears filled her eyes, but it was hard to say if they were caused by her nearness to freedom, or for the pain she caused on the ship.

“No matter…” she whispered as she held her hands up to the glass.

Tim was busy jamming the door frequency so that the guards couldn’t come in. It proved difficult -- one wrong entry and the alarm would sound – but in the end it was finished. He joined her at the window and carefully readjusted her arms.

“Remember like I showed you on Pacifica. Hold it in your hands and meld your mind around it… Go on.”

Lyllandra nodded and watched the Earth. As always, nothing happened at first. The great globe of green, white, and blue just stared back at her until she felt comfortable enough to open up. Her mind relaxed and that’s when the mountains brushed against her hands. She could feel the cool water in her toes and an unforgiving sun on her forehead. As the sounds of people began to fill her ears, her heavy eyelids closed and she began the transfer.

“Unauthorized entry, please use higher security clearance” the computer chimed behind them.

Someone started pounding on the door. “We know you’re in there Miss Wyntir, release the barrier!”

Tim cooed her on “remember the mountains, the grass, the trees… don’t stop until you’re there Lilly…” He placed his hands on her shoulders, giving her strength.

Tears ran down Lyllandra’s face as she reached out further and further.

“I’m home!!” she mouthed, though no one on the ship heard. Three guards burst through the door, shouting silently towards her. One reached for his phaser, but the Lieutenant that spoke with her earlier reached his hand out and shook his head. They all watched as Lyllandra and Tim faded from the room.


The party finishes tomorrow (Friday) with the last two entries, plus my own telling of the party events!


Ciera said...

More excellent stories!

Nic said...

WOW! What amazing stories. Lady Wyntir, I'm glad that you made it home safely. Jen, I'm glad you found what you needed to find in the facilities area. It's never fun to be full-bladdered at a party. Sounds like you had fun, other than for the encounters with the notorious Troi women.

Jen said...

Nice work, Lady Wynter!

Running2Ks said...

Jen, he didn't get me ;) I loved your "pre-horde glory" and "hug, kiss and sing praises to the family toilet" phrases. Must have been some stiff drink. LOL!

Lady Wynter, epic and marvelous. You gave me the chills with that story and descriptions. OOOH!

November Rain said...

LOL Jen another classic I’m pretty sure I hurt the kids’ feelings when I returned home and ran past them all to hug, kiss and sing praises to the family toilet, but they’ll get over it.

lady great story

dddragon said...

What a nightmare of a bathroom! I had my legs crossed just reading it!!

Great stories, looking forward to tomorrow!

Lady Wyntir said...

Jen - that was hilarious!! I love when two mismatched things come together - there are so many differences to write about - you choose just the right ones!!

Now you know how Riker feels when he see's Deanna's mom... hahahahahaha

hope my "epic" wasn't too long... once i started writing, i couldn't stop. hee hee

Glad you liked it ^______^

M. C. Pearson said...

Jen~ Don't you know the reason ladies always visit the facilities in twos? So one can scope out the 'right' stall while the other scapes off the aliens underfoot! How many times must your mama tell you these things?

PS...I've always wondered about the Enterprise crew. They never seemed to need a bathroom let alone show anyone where or how to use it.

Lady~ Wow! Great story. I only wish you had run into Troi and had to defeat her with mind powers! LOL. You did an awesome job.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jen & Lady Wyntir, you both produced excellent entries, which I really enjoyed.

The Final Day is up now!

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