I feel like like got an enormous headache.
Every sound seems amplified a hundred times, and my body feels like it's got a ton weight on it, making it unable to move.
It's the day after the Christmas Party.
I stagger out of bed and fall on the floor; eventually I crawl in to have a sonic shower. It has no effect, and my eyesight is blurred and fuzzy.
The next thing I decide to do is call Riker; maybe he'll be in better condition than I am.
After repeated attempts, I finally hear a sound.
"Urrgggh? Who's that?"
"Number One...urrr..Is that you?" I ask haltingly.
"Are you all right?"
"I think so, Captain...who am I?"
"You're Commander Riker; get ready to be on the Bridge in 30 minutes. We'll start off then."
"All right; Riker out." I think I hear Deanna mumbling in the background as he signs off.
Next I ask the computer to locate Data.
"Commander Data is on the Bridge."
He would be; I call him.
"Good morning, Captain." he tells me in that clear voice of voice, that increases my headache, "I hope you had a good night's sleep. I have been loking after the Enterprise, and all systems are functioning at optimum parameters."
That's too much to swallow right now. I tell him groggily we will start in 30 minutes.
When I have my uniform on, I stumble along to SickBay. Various members of the crew are wandering in a daze, lying against the wall with their eyes closed or unconscious on the floor.
Eventually I reach there. A long queue is outside. I walk in and find the EMH is treating all the patients. Beverly is unconscious on one of the beds.
"Disgusting!" the EMH tells me, "You solids can't look after yourselves properly. I'm having to look after a shipful of drunken people. Even Dr Crusher cannot look after herself properly."
"What can you give me to help, Doctor?" I ask.
"Even here in the 24th Century, there is not a cure for a hangover. You are meant to be able to look after your bodies. This pill may help you slightly. It is called a Placebo Drug."
I take it, and the EMH smiles to himself. Then I head for the Bridge.
When I eventually find it, the senior staff are there, all looking the worse for wear. Worf staggers around slowly, Riker is holding his head in his hand. Deanna is wearing dark glasses. Geordi comes in, and sits down, helped to his chair by Data.
We set off; after about twenty minutes we get an unusual video signal hailing us. A large ship approaches.
"We are The Drell." it announces, "We are about to invade your Quadrant, eliminate the Federation and destroy your Starship."
Not now, please!!
A very agressive alien looks at us all.
"Why are you all looking so tired?" he asks.
I tell him that we just had a big party last night, and that we haven't recovered from the effects of it yet.
"You have my sympathes." he informs us, "We are often like that the morning after a Drell Victory Party. We cannot move for days when that happens. Is there a convenient day we can invade?"
"We should be free sometime next week." I tell him.
"Fine", he says, "I'll mark that down in my diary then."
The Drell battleship. moves away at high warp.
There are days when one just doesn't feel like a lengthy battle.
Has someone got some black coffee?