Journey From Wondawowman (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

It's hardly a fun time with Royalty on board!

Bev and I are effectively commanding the ship while escorting Queen Diana and her daughter Princess Nexa from their home planet of Wondawowman. The Queen's daughter Karena is receiving a prize at the Academy, and she wants to attend.

The Cappy has been forced to stay in the background, as the Amazons only recognise women as being in charge. That's a hoot! giggle!

The Queen has enjoyed a lot of films in the Enterprise cinema, particularly She and And God Created Woman.

Nexa has been more troublesome.



She has been practising fighting with holographic Amazons; she insists on having the Safety off; naturally, she still wins.

Nexa is a real predator; she is angry at her sister Karena for defeating her in the battle for Wesley. I hope she doesn't try and win him back.

She has looked at other crewmembers as potential mates. She was interested in Worf and Geordi, but Jadzia and Trisha made it clear they belonged to them. Though she was annoyed, imn the interests of Diplomacy, she went no further. She also actually asked me if Ro Laren had a mate.

I wonder what that meant?

I know that later on I saw Ro who was very red-faced after talking to the Princess. When I asked why, she said "Don't ask!!"

Later, Nexa walks up to Seven.

"Do you wish to be an Amazon of Wondawowman, Seven?" she asks her.

"No thank you," she replies, "The Borg will assimilate the planet, and we shall be Amazons then."

Nexa laughs.

"The Amazons shall vanquish all oppressors!" she tells Seven.

It's hard getting everyone to say the right thing; I don't always! Giggle! Bev and I keep telling them, "Don't say anything to antagonise them, don't mention Captain Picard or Commander Riker. It's a girls-only trip!"

-------------

We are having a formal dinner before the Enterprise arrives at Earth. Queen Diana asks me a question.

"That Picard person and the bearded fellow I saw when we arrived." she starts.

"Do you wish him and Commander Riker to join us at dinner, your Majesty?" I ask.

"Certainly not!" she replies with a horrified voice, "They may serve the meal as we eat; it seemed they had good waiter potential."

I manage not to giggle until she leaves.

I'm going to have a tough time telling Will and the Cappy that they are serving!

-------------

The next morning, the two are ready to beam down; the Cappy is still in the background, his face a picture of irritation after serving the night before.

He shouldn't have accidentally tipped the soup into the Queen's lap. giggle!

To be continued...

Journey From Wondawowman (Part One)

More troublesome passengers!

Can't we ever have any easy-going people who are just pleasant?

The Enterprise will be escorting the leader of the Wondawowman Amazons, Queen Diana and her daughter Nexa to Earth. They are to witness the Queen's other daughter Karena get an Academy prize.

Karena herself is no stranger to us, as Wesley Crusher has been told by the Academy hierarchy to serve her, as she is a Princess. As a result, she is making Wesley's life a misery.

That is a good point, anyway!

We are all in the transporter room awaiting our two royal passengers. Riker and I are standing in the background, as Queen Diana does not recognise men as leaders. Instead, Deanna and Beverly, who both have Command status will greet them.

Diana and Nexa beam on. I feel the instict to walk forward and greet them, but Riker wisely puts his and out and stops me.



"Greetings, Queen Diana and Princess Nexa." states Deanna, "Welcome to the Enterprise. I am Counselor Deanna Troi and this is Doctor Beverly Crusher."

The Queen smiles and greets them, while Nexa steps forward and looks at us men in the room with contempt."




"Mother," she asks, "Why are these men in the room? They serve us no purpose."

"I am Captain Picard, Princess Xena....I mean Nexa." I tell her hurriedly, "I command this vessel."

Riker draws his breath sharply, as we both know I have said the wrong thing.

The Queen turns to Deanna with an expression as if someone has spat at her.

"You will remove these men from my sight." she says sharply, "I have no wish to see them on my journey to Earth."

We go out, and I see Beverly and Deanna trying to quickly placate the two of them. It looks like I need to stay in the background a lot in this journey.

A little later, I see Beverly, and ask her what happened.

"Everything is alright, Jean-Luc." she tells me, "Deanna and I have told her that we have given you a menial job of Instructional Pilot to the Enterprise, and that sometimes you think it more important than it is. We added that Deanna and I are the real people in charge. She was quite happy at that. Sorry, Jean-Luc."

"That's fine." I reply, "I'd better stay out of her way. You, Deanna, Jadzia, Seven, and Ro had better host things while us others keep quiet."

She smiles and gives me a peck on the cheek.

"Just because you're in charge, you can't go kissing the Instructional Pilot!" I tell her. We both laugh.

Having Queen Diana and Princess Nexa on board is not easy. We already have Seven of Nine, Ensign Britney. We just need the Borg Queen, Captain Beverly Howard and the Troi Borg Queen as well to make me head for the Escape Pods!

To be continued...

TWQ: Favourite Years

This week, TWQ ( The Weekend Question) asks about the years you liked.

So far, what have been your favourite years, and for what reason?

My answers are:

1: 1973 - A good year at school with great music all around.

2: 1976 - The year of the great heatwave and where we visited the US for the first time.

3: 1980 - The year when I had a wonderful party for my 21st birthday.

4: 1993 - A very happy year all round.

Now it's over to you...

Seven's Message To The Borg Queen

Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

My Supreme Queen,

This is your servant Seven of Nine sending you another message from the USS Enterprise; I am updating you on the latest events that are going on.

It is a pleasure serving you as a representative, giving you an insight into human behaviour. I shall be honoured when you place me on the Voyager in the Delta Quadrant. Captain Kathryn Janeway sounds quite challenge.

The humans here forever look for something new to occupy their mundane lives; a holographic night club entertainer has been placed with them; he operates in the style they did four centuries ago. Why do they look to the past? They will find out that Borg singers are far better than holographic ones when we assimilate them all.

The Borg are supreme!

Not only that, Locutus and his crew insist on creating their own problems. A Deltan woman has been bought on the ship named Ensign Britney. She causes trouble frequently, and is often in the brig. This is what Locutus told me a few hours ago....

--------------

"I'd like to have a word with you, Seven." Locutus says quietly, and calls me into his ready room.

"What is it, Locutus?" I ask him.

He looks slightly strained when I say 'Locutus, but nevertheless carries on.

"You may be aware that we've had Ensign Britney with us a little while now." he tells me, "And despite our best efforts, she has been very troublesome; she chews gum, is disruptive and therefore is in the brig a lot. We feel she needs a firm hand to guide her and stop her straying off."

"You wish me to assimilate her, Locutus?" I ask.

He looks panic stricken, and nearly falls off his chair.

"No!" he tells me clearly, "Just keep her firm, and don't let her do anything wrong."

"Very well, Locutus" I tell him, and go to find Britney, who is in Engineering.



She appears to be wrecking an ancient method of transport with a strange device. I approach her.

"Please refrain from doing that, Ensign Britney" I tell her, and remove the device from her hands, "I wish to be your friend."

"But you're a Borg drone!" she exclains, "The only friend I had was Cadet Lindsay, and she's still in the Academy."

"You miss her?" I ask.

"Yeah." she tells me.

I walk up to her and whisper in her ear.

"If the Borg assimilate you and we do the same with Lindsay" I tell her, "You can be friends for a very long time...you'll have billions of friends."

She looks panic stricken.

"Oh sure, you can be my friend" she says quickly, "I'm sure we will get on well on the Enterprise."

--------------

And that's how it ended, my Queen. One thing, I must say. When we come to assimilate the Enterprise, I recommend we leave Ensign Britney out. Having her thoughts in the Hive Mind could well destroy the fabric of Borg society.

Until my next message, my Queen,

I leave you, your dutiful servant,

Seven of Nine

Ten Forward & The Sands

Guest Poster: Guinan

I'm getting a little worried about business here in Ten Forward. Over the last couple of days, the place has become very quiet. It used to be a very active place, but now it's more like people were expecting Data to give a poetry recital.

That's not it, of course; the real reason is Vic Fontaine and the Sands nightclub.

Ever since that continually running program was installed in Holodeck 6, people have flocked to see Fontaine and his nightly shows. As a result, Ten Forward is very empty.

It's no use going to Jean-Luc. He will just say that the crew need a place to relax and enjoy when their shift is over. They have a choice of where to go.

Besides that, he and Beverly go and get the best seats in The Sands every night.

The only way to tackle this is to talk to Fontaine himself.

-----------------

As I step in, Fontaine and his band have just finished rehearsing a number. He sees me, smiles and walks over.



"Guinan!" he says with a smile, as he takes me hand and kisses it, "I've heard so much about you; I had no idea you were so beautiful."

This sure disarms someone who was about to complain about their business being taken away!

"Look, Mr Fontaine..." I start, "I need to talk to you about.."

"Call me Vic, I insist." he replies, "Come over here and we'll chat for a while." He calls to his band that they should take a break for ten minutes.

I tell Vic about the problem I am having, and he looks very apologetic.

"Guinan." he tells me, "I had no idea this situation would occur; if I knew, I would have set up another arrangement. Perhaps we can work together at this."

"How do you mean?"

"Well." he replies, "How would you like to be co-owner of the Sands as well as Ten Forward?"

I smile; Vic is a shrewd businessman. He would have done well in the 20th century; better than that guy named Gates.

"I like how you think, Vic." I tell him, "We could promote each other's business."

"Exactly!" Vic says with a smile, "The holographic bands could guest in Ten Forward, and any solid artists could come to The Sands."

"Quid Pro Quo." we say together, and seal the deal with a kiss.

"Careful." I say, "I am well over 500 years old."

"...and I'm a hologram!" Vic replies, "There are some unusual couples in the universe."

Vic goes up to the band, tells them something and they start singing.

That old black magic has me in its spell
That old black magic that you weave so well
Icy fingers up
and down my spine
The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine

The same old tingle that I feel
inside
When that elevator starts its ride
Down and down I go, round and round I go
Like a leaf that's
caught in the tide

I should stay away but what can I do
I hear your name, and I'm aflame
Aflame with
such a burning desire
That only your kiss can put out the fire

You are the lover that I've waited for

The mate that fate had me created for
And every time your lips meet mine....

I smile, and leave the club. Even a 500 year old can still charm them!

This visit of complaint didn't turn out too bad after all!

Vic Fontaine

On a recent visit to Deep Space Nine, I was very impressed with the self-aware holographic lounge singer Vic Fontaine that they have there. I asked Captain Sisko if he could send us a copy of his program so we could install him om one of our holodecks.

-------------

Geordi and Data have been working on the installation and we are ready to go.

"Well, Captain." says Geordi, "As you know, Vic will be aware he's a hologram, like the EMH Doctor."

Fortunately, Vic won't have the annoying mannerisms of the EMH, but instead will be able to sing a lot better.

"Perhaps I'll be able to play my trombone in the band?" suggests Riker.

I hope not; that will empty the nightclub faster than a fire alarm or the sound of General Quarters.

The program is activated, and a holographic nightclub comes to life; the flashing sign, 'The Sands' is above, and characters are watching the stage. The band is playing and Vic is at the front.



He looks over to us.

"Hi fellas!" he calls out, "Glad to be playing for a season on the Enterprise. Here's an opening number for you."

Come fly with me, let’s fly let’s fly away
If you can use, some exotic booze
There’s a bar in far Bombay
Come fly with me, we’ll fly we’ll fly away

Come fly with me, let’s float down to Peru
In llama land, there’s a one man band
And he’ll toot his flute for you
Come fly with me, we’ll float down in the blue

Once I get you up there, where the air is rarefied
We’ll just glide, starry eyed
Once I get you up there, I’ll be holding you so near
You may here, angels cheer - because were together

Weather wise it’s such a lovely day
You just say the words, and we’ll beat the birds
Down to acapulco bay
It’s perfect, for a flying honeymoon - they say
Come fly with me, we’ll fly we’ll fly away

Worf looks slightly annoyed.

"Is this holographic character going to do this every time we switch the program on, sir" he complains.

"Mr Worf." I tell him, "Vic will know how to run this program himself. Holodeck 6 will now bcome known as 'The Sands', and crew will be able to drop in whenever they are off duty to listen to Vic and his band play."

"It is no good for discipline." he comments to himself.

"Don't be a downer, Worfie." chides Jadzia, giving him a playful slap on the arm, which he appears to like, "It is good for the morale of the crew to have somewhere else to relax besides Ten Forward."

Vic tells the band to take five; this phrase leaves Data somewhat confused for a moment until he seaches his memory files. Then he gives an odd laugh.

"Hi everybody." says Vic, "Glad to meet you all. Don't forget, if there's any numbers you want me to do for you, just holler and the band will play them for you."

Deanna names a weird Betazoid song that no one has ever heard of; Vic looks puzzled.

"That's a tough one, Miss Troi." he says, "Still if Geordi puts it into my programming, the band and I will do it without a problem."

"How about 'Torn Between Two Lovers' instead?" comments Worf, with a sarcastic tone, "I'm sure that would be more appropriate."

"What's that supposed to mean?" shouts Deanna.

"Yes Worf." adds Riker, "I think that was uncalled for."

Worf and Jadzia leave with smiles on their faces.

I hope we're not going to have too much trouble at The Sands; people are supposed to relax, not open up old wounds!

Beverly reminds me to get a good seat at The Sands tonight.

"Bev" I tell her, "I think as Captain, I will always somehow manage to get a good seat!"

TWQ: Google Namesakes

TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks you to to look and find out more about people who have your name.

Have you tried to find out if there are any other people with your name and what they do? Use the Google link (below), type in your name and list what they do.

Google

My answers are:

* The Group Financing Director of a Consulting Firm.

* A Conservative political Education supremo whose wife left him and who pleaded guilty to drunken driving, and a member of the Freemasons secret society.

* A tax specialist on the council.

* An Alfa Romeo racing driver.

* The estates manager of a hospital building.

Now it's over to you....

Deanna & Riker Take Over (Part Three)

Guest Poster: The Doctor

Why I end up having to fix everything for Picard and other other solids is beyond me. It just goes to show that us holograms are valued far more than they would have us believe.

As Commander Riker and Counselor Troi have been hypnotised with a sleeper code used by Sloan of the subversive Starfleet organisation Section 31, they have taken over the ship and locked everone away. They are taking the ship to a rendevous point where the Enterprise will be fitting with a cloaking device so it can do lots of evil things.

Picard has already told me that anaesthetic gas cannot be filtered through to the Bridge as that has been circumvented by the computer. I am the only way of sorting things out...as usual!

Beverly Crusher wishes me the best of luck; that's a first. Usually she assumes complete control in the Sickbay and only calls on me as a last resort. My superior talents are never called for.

Come to think of it, I was never invited to the Enterprise Quiz that was in Ten Forward. I would have done well in the 'opera' category.

Still, back to the present.

I walk through the door; as there are holoprojectors around, I can walk around the ship at will. Crusher only usually lets me do that in the night shift when she is asleep and the crew want me to give them a band aid or something trivial.

There is no one around, as the crew are in their quarters; I need to get to the Bridge and access the 'release' button for the doors that will get the crew out, and also to switch Data on.

I'm up to the Bridge door; this is it. I put my head in and take a peek; I want to be sure they don't catch and disconnect me. I'm writing a guide about opera this week, and don't want to lose it all.



Riker is in the Captain's seat, and Troi is with him.

"How are we going, imzadi?" she asks him in a purring voice.

"Almost two hours to rendezvous, Deanna" replies Riker, who leans over to kiss her; they embrace.

This is my chance; I sneak in and reprogram the computer; all the crew's doors are released. I then rush over and switch Commander Data on.

Before they know what is going on, Riker and Deanna are swiftly caught by Data and the rush of Worf's security guards that come in.

"Well done, Doctor." says Picard, "You've saved the Enterprise. We are indebted to you."

I'll get switched off again soon enough, I imagine.

------------------

A few hours later, I talk to the Captain.

"What will happen to Commander Riker and Deanna?" I ask, "And the Section 31 people at the rendezvous point?".

"Somehow, it seems the Section 31 people know everything." he replied, "They had intercepted my message to Starfleet as to the events that happened, and had fled from the point the Enterprise was programmed to go. As for Deanna and Riker, they will undergo deprogramming by Doctor Crusher and Commander Data. They should be fine soon. Let's hope no one reads out Dante's Divine Comedy for a while."

Beverly Crusher enters the room. She talks to the Captain quietly about a date at the Enterprise cinema. Saw XXXIX is on. She then turns to me.

"Err, Doctor." she starts, "Will you mind doing the night shift five hours earlier tonight? I've got an umm.... appointment elsewhere."

I grudgingly accept; sooner or later, these solids will know how important I am!


-------------------

Charmed And Dangerous (Dari) has tagged me to ask which five bloggers I would take along on a desert island to stay there for one year.

This isn't easy.

I'll go for Ciera as she would be a good companion as she thinks like me. Nic is a great friend with a practical resolve. Miss Cellania is good person that would keep spirits up. Nurse Ratched would help with any medical problems and Secret Squirrel would keep everything in order to stop us going into a panic.