Guest Poster: Data
Right now, I feel as if I am the intruder on a night out that women are partaking in.
In truth, I am the bait in a trap.
My girlfriend Jenny, plus Seven of Nine, Ensign Britney, and T'Pol are all on the planet Feloria, where the artificial Cylon human Six has been sighted. We are here to eliminate her, while the Borg Cube 01 and the Enterprise have joined together to destroy the Resurrection Ship. Together, these two attacks will stop the Cylon threat to the galaxy.
At least that is the plan.
"Go on, Data, honey." urges Jenny, "I'll sort out Six with my multi-phase disruptor, while Seven, Britney and T'Pol will put paid to that lump of metal Norman the Cylon Centurian."
With our positions agreed, I walk into town alone. The doors hurriedly close as the local citizens know when trouble is coming.
Why is it my circuits are reminding me of the 20th century Earth movie High Noon? I feel an urgent compulsion to say "Yup." for some reason.
Suddenly I hear a pair of stiletto heels on the ground behind me.
"Now this IS a pleasant surprise!" trills Six softly, "I was hoping we would meet again, Data. Did you feel the same attraction for me as I did for you at that Convention. Your advanced workings could do wonders for Centurian technology, and the two of us could rule over...."
"Ain't gonna happen!" says another voice, "I'm Jennifer Baxter, Data's girl, and I'm here to finish you off."
Jenny always had a penchant for the dramatic.
"Is she the best you can do, Data?" asks Six, "This human woman does not meet the standards us artificial life forms can aspire to. Do you not see me as the best there is? Norman! I have a job for you."
An overly large Cylon Centurian comes out of a local house. Correctly put, he smashed through the door.
"Norman." commands Six, "Destroy the human woman in the latex outfit."
As he marches towards Jenny, Britney, T'Pol and Seven emerge from their secluded places and release the charges of their high voltage phaser rifles towards Norman.
"Get this, you heap of tin cans!" shrieks Britney, as her phaser charge hits him. In a few moments, Norman is a pile of molten metal, enough to make a new shuttlecraft for the Enterprise.
All that is left now is Six, who is looking a little less confident before.
"This one is by me!" Jenny declares, "Data is MY territory, and anyone crossing into it makes a mistake. You just made a mistake, Six."
With the loud noise of Jenny's multi-phase disruptor, Six screams as her body falls into nothingness.
"Resistance is futile!" exults Seven.
"Yeah, sisters!" shouts Britney, and all four women high-five each other in a victory statement. I am even encouraged to join in.
"Well, we have accomplished our mission." T'Pol muses, "I wonder how the Enterprise are getting on in theirs?"
To be continued...
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