The senior staff are all in the holodeck dressed as members of Captain Kirk's 23rd Century Enterprise. Foolishly, we directed the controls in here as well, to create the authenticity of it.
We were all having a good time until something went wrong with the computers and locked us in the holodeck. Not only that, but a hostile ship is on it's way to meet us.
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"Well we still have control of the galaxy-class Enterprise that the holodeck is part of, don't we?" Riker asks me, while wearing his Spock outfit plus false ears.
"Yes, Number One." I reply, "But the weapons of our Enterprise will not comply with those on the panels of this Bridge."
"Are you saying we're defenceless?" Deanna says with increduality.
"I'm afraid so, Counselor." I reply, "T'Pol, open a channel to the ship, maybe we can talk our way out of this."
T'Pol, in her role as Communications Officer Lieutenant Uhura snorts with derision and mumbles about the situation would not have happened in the mirror universe of the Terran Empire, where she comes from.
"There is an open channel from the ship." she informs me, "The screen will come on now."
As it does, we see the image of a very reptilian-like Captain. He looks aggressive and troublesome. I introduce myself and the ship.
"I am Captain Varg of the Gorva Empire. You will surrender your vessel and prepare for boarding." he starts, "My crew will take over and you will..."
He stops and looks at us, then bursts out laughing.
"What is this?" he says as the laughter gets louder, "You all look as if you are in a hundred year old Starfleet vessel. You, Captain Picard, have a torn shirt and are wearing a hairpiece. Your second-in-command is wearing some large stick-on-ears. As for your Bridge, it looks ridiculous. Not only that, the females are wearing dated miniskirts. Hey, Zarg! Look at this!"
Captain Varg's second-in-command comes to the screen to take a look.
"What is it, Captain?" he says, then looks at us, "Ah...ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!"
Both of them are laughing away, and eventually wipe away their tears to call members of the other crew to watch, who all fall about laughing."
"I do not like to feel humiliated." states Worf angrily.
"I know what you mean, Mr Worf." I tell him as I throw my Captain Kirk hairpiece on the floor. Unfortunately, this causes the Gorvans to laugh even louder.
"With Varg and Zarg distracted." suggests Data, "We may be able to get away from them."
"That's true, Mr Data, "Set a course at 180.2 at Warp Nine."
The Enterprise vanishes away from them swiftly; after about half an hour, the computer anomoly is repaired and we manage to get out of the holodeck.
We change into our regular uniforms, glad to leave those of the 23rd Century behind us.
"It looks like I won't be someone's love interest for this week." complains Britney.
Maybe we should have beamed her over; that would have frightened them.
"Do you think aliens ever laughed at Captain Kirk in the last Century." Geordi asks me as we walk through the corridors.
"I don't think they would dare, Mr LaForge." I answer, "He tended to use a photon torpedo as a method of greeting them. here in the 24th Century, we just get laughed at!"
19 comments:
Too bad you didn't think quickly enough about Ensign Britney. Who knows? Maybe she would have liked being Varg or Zarg's love interest.
In the meantime, put a note on the door of the Holodeck to remind you not to go in any more....
So laughter really is the best defense after all, isn't it? I must say, I'm sure I would have been laughing myself and wish you had pictures to post of yourself in a hairpiece!
Stay out of the holodeck. Stay on the bridge. ;-)
LOL! Lets run away while they are busy laughing - bravo! And how interesting/true - the way we used to do things vs the way we do things now (Its my first cuppa for the day, hope you know what I mean)
Great story! Thanks for the laughs
Great story. Sorry you were humiliated. But at least it ended well. :o)
Enjoy the story. :D This beam me up is so fascinated. As for now, that maybe impossible. Then, beam, beam, beam to the screen. How funny and excited!
Maybe some company like this idea to design all sorts of this beam beam things to screen. :D
*laughs*
We Jedi never have that problem...
Poor ensign Britney..no one loves her...can't imagine why
Things sure have changed from Captain Kirk's time. His methods seem ancient but when you think about it in the BIG scheme of things. Its not all that long ago. I guess you gotta just work with what you have at the time you're in. Blasting or Laughing...
Amanda, Kirk definately has a different approach.
MOTD, I don't know about that. She and T'Pol are friends.
Lavender, I agree; it's not the way to defeat an enemy.
Curmudgeon, Jon, staying out of the holodeck might be a wise thing...until the next time.
Linda, if I had pictures of me wearing a hairpiece and torn shirt, I'd have put it up!
No, they never would have laughed at Kirk. He filled everyone with the intense desire to KILL.
Maybe you ought to keep those costumes handy for when all else fails.
I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and I rarely find a situation that transforming into a semi truck and smashing through walls won't solve.
Dying in laughter! Well done! You should have sent them Brittney. That would have terrified them.
i just had an idea! -- all spaceships should have a holodeck that looks like a Bridge Deck, then when an enemy star ships damands to be boarded, you can board them onto the holodeck, and thus not compromise the real Bridge!-- what do you think of that idea?
Things went wrong at your costume party? Why am I not surprised?
What a funny story. Thanks for sharing!
How dare they laugh at Kirk! Why do things tend to go wrong at the most inconvenient times on the Enterprise?
You're not letting Ensign Brittney near any important control buttons are you? I would be concerned for the safety of the crew if she was.
I, too, cannot imagine Captain Kirk being laughed at. That would be wrong on so many levels.
Jane, don't worry. Ensign Britney is usually in the brig anyway.
Leon, it was Picard dressed as Kirk they were laughing at.
Dragonflyfilly, you may have a good idea there.
Adventures in Waitressing, others have said that.
Blindsighted, welcole to the Journal.
Optimus, that is a shade too physical.
Jana, that could be useful to keep the costumes as a last resort.
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