Tuesday, June 19, 2007
T'Pol & Britney In The Brig
Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol
I'm on my way to the brig again, escorted by the Klingon.
They are so straight-laced here; one step out of place and you get told off. I suppose I shouldn't complain. Back home in the Terran Empire we torture offenders by putting them in the Decon Chamber and playing about with the life support.
The Klingon throws me in the brig. I notice there is also someone else there; a bald woman.
"Hello." I say to her, "What are you in for?"
"I'm Ensign Britney." she replies, "I'm ALWAYS in here, as they say I'm so disruptive. I'm from the planet Delta, where none of the occupants have any hair. I'm in here because I was arguing with Geordi LaForge in the Engine Room. How about you?"
"I'm Lieutentant Commander T'Pol of the ISS Enterprise." I tell her, "I've only just got here after spending 200 years in susunded animation and coming through to this alternate universe. Picard put me in the brig after I told the Klingon that I have better tactical knowledge than he could ever have."
"That is so cool!" she shrieks hystrically, "It looks like you and I are going to be good friends."
She reaches below the bed she is sitting on and gets out some chewing gum that has been stuck underneath.
"Here, T'Pol." Britney says, "Have a piece of my chewing gum. I've been eating that since I got in the brig. I wouldn't let anybody but a friend eat some of it."
"Err...thanks, Britney." I reply hesitatingly, "That's really err... cool. I'll put it under my bed and eat it later."
"Great, T'Pol." she continues, "This starship can't handle women like us!"
She's right there.
"That's true, Britney." I tell her, "We could run a far better ship than they could."
"Right on, sista!" she shouts, then whispers, "I hear someone coming."
It is the ship's Counselor, Deanna Troi. I tell Britney that she is Riker's Woman.
"I'm here to check on your rehabilitation, Britney and T'Pol." she tells us, "You both have bad disciplinary records and Captain Picard is eager that you both become responsible members of the crew."
"Did Riker give your permission to ask us, Counselor?" Britney asks her, "Does he usually give his Woman these servile positions."
I laugh out loud as Deanna runs out in tears.
"Right on, sista!" I say to Britney.
I might be in the brig a couple more days as a result, but it was worth it!