I'm still in the Dararian office trying to get my Starship Licence.
The amount of time I've spent in here makes me feel as if I've been put in suspended animation and someone's forgot to turn the 'on' switch on.
Everyone looks sad in here, as if it is Limbo, and that this is where they will be for all Eternity.
Having being directed by the officious looking man at the counter, I am now taking my DSS1/LDS form to the counter that bears that title.
Only there's a queue twice as long as the one I've been in.
In front of me, there is a Vulcan. I talk to him about how long I have to wait.
"These queues are a test of patience." he replies, "They are good for the Vulcan spirit, to see if they can maintain their lack of emotion. Many Vulcans have sapped under the conditions."
"How about Klingons?" I ask, "Surely their patience is very slim?"
"You are correct." he reples, "No Klingon has ever had a Dararian Starship Licence as they have never made it to the front of the queue. They go berserk, assault a few officials and are taken out."
A long time later, I reach the front of the queue; slightly earlier than expected, as the Vulcan ahead of me, and an Orion Slave Girl both buckled under the pressure and had to be taken out screaming.
Triumphantly, I produce my DSS1/LDS form; somewhat reluctantly, the woman accepts it.
"Where's your photograph?" the Dararian asks with a sneer.
I'm ready for her, and produce this picture I was carrying.
She looks at it for a while and smiles to herself.
"That's not sufficient." she tells me, "The picture must have you in your official uniform, and you are not allowed to smile. The photo booth is over there."
I'm starting to crack.
However, I get my picture taken, looking very officious, and after an eternity, I am back at the head of the queue. The form is stamped, and I am given another one to take to the 'Starship Licences' counter.
I'm starting to buckle...everything is looking very hazy....four lights....
Though on my knees, I make it to the head of the queue and my Starship Licence is issued. As I grasp it, everything starts to go dizzy....
"Are you all right, Jean-Luc?" I hear a voice; it's Beverly.
Groggily, I wake up in the Enterprise Sick Bay. Beverly is tending to me.
"What happened?" I ask her.
"According to witnesses" she replies, "You passed out as soon as you received your Starship Licence. We thought it would be a routine matter."
"Beverly" I say to her, "If we ever pass through Dararian space again, make sure we are going at Impulse Speed. I don't want to apply for another Licence again."