Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Mother And Daughter

I think it's time to visit my darling daughter on the Enterprise again.

I've used my role as Betazed Ambassador to request an important meeting with the Captain; it'll make him nervous, but Jean-Luc doesn't have to be concerned this time.


Beaming on to the Enterprise Transporter, the Captain is all ready to receive me, along with the rest of the staff, including Deanna. He has that nervous look that I always seem to see.

"Ambassador Troi" he starts, "Welcome aboard the Enterprise. I am concerned to know what was so important."

"Oh, stop fussing, Jean-Luc" I lightly tell him, "There is nothing here for my Ambassadorial role; I just need to have a little chat with Deanna."

Jean-Luc looks amazed.

"Mother!" exclaims Deanna, "The Enterprise had to be diverted off an important mission in order to come to Betazed and collect you!"

"Don't be so uptight, Deanna" I reply, "It's time for a friendly mother-daughter chat. Jean-Luc, can we borrow your Ready Room? Commander Riker, I need you to come as well."

Jean-Luc nods his head in agreement, as if he is too stunned to speak.


In the Ready Room, I invite Will Riker and Deanna to sit down.

"What is this, mother?" says Deanna angrily, "And don't talk telepathically; Will is a part of this, so don't cut him out."

"So he is" I tell them, "The question is when are you two going to get married?"

The two look at each other, with slightly red faces.

"That's between us, mother; Will and I have chatted about it."

"With all due respect, Mrs Troi.." Will hesitantly continues.

"Oh tosh!" I tell them, "I want you going down that Betazed aisle very soon and a grandchild soon after!"

They both go even redder in the face.

"Mother!" exclaims Deanna, "You can't go embarasssing poor Will and myself by talking about children yet; it's not something we've...."

"Well you'd better do so soon; the Betazoid biological clock doesn't tick all day" I tell them.

"But..." she protests.

"You want to look your best on your wedding day; you know the wedding photographer won't miss anything."

"What does that mean?" Will asks Deanna.

"Have you forgotten" I remind him, "That Betazoid weddings are done without clothes? Now I suggests that you and I, Deanna, visit the Betazed Spa before the wedding, so that..."

"Mother" Deanna tell me slowly, "Will hasn't even asked me to marry him, yet you're getting the wedding ceremony planned and the children's nursery decorated!"

"I'm sorry, Deanna," I say to her, "I'm being too forward. Will, why don't you ask Deanna to marry you right now, so that we can press on?"

"I hardly think it's the right moment, Mrs Troi." protests Will.

"Oh, call me Lwaxana" I tell him, "Or Mom; after all, you're practically family now"

The two look in despair.

"Now you two think about it" I say, "And, Will, I want to see a ring on my daughter's finger. You understand?"

"Yes, Mrs Troi...I mean Lwaxana"


I return to the Transporter Room, where Jean-Luc is still there.

"I'm beaming back down again, Jean-Luc." I cheerily say, "Thanks for having me here. By the way, you might be at a wedding soon as Best Man. Don't bother measuring yourself for a suit. Byeeee!"


Osquer said...

Oooh! Captain, if you need a date for that wedding...

Tell me, do they dance cheek to cheek at Betazoid weddings?

Trinity13 said...

I think you should be the one marrying them Capt!!!

Jaime H. said...

See, now....wouldn't Q be a welcome distraction compared to THIS???

Did you ever read the Trek novel Q-in-Law, that pits Q against Lwaxana? It's hilarious!

Anyway...you have my sympathies, Captain! And I'm not laughing hysterically; I just have a tickle in my throat.

Vampirella said...

wedding bells will I be inited?

Professor Xavier said...

"Mother!" exclaims Deanna, "The Enterprise had to be diverted off an important mission in order to come to Betazed and collect you!"

Just out of curiosity, does the Enterprise ever go on missions that aren't important? Maybe you have to check into a Starbase to have your tennis rackets re-strung of to pick up some new gold clubs for an Admiral. Anything like that?

The Curmudgeon said...

Lwaxana entirely in character!

And that crisis in that silly old Neutral Zone will surely keep.

emi said...

Now there is a take charge woman! Don't you admire that just a little? And I agree with osquer42 that you should officiate. Who better?

August said...

oh gosh... i am exactly in will's shoes right now! i know how it feels... ugh.

Barbara said...

Will and Deanna should have hooked up on the show, they acted like husband and wife.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

Oh my... she's very organized. The Emperor would love her ....erm maybe...
So will a wedding be soon? I love weddings, everyone gets to drink fizzy alcoholic beverages and eat lots of over done roast beast.

I can't imagine having her as a moth in law though.... scary!!!

Florence said...

Very spot on characterisation. The telepathic powers of a Betazed would make anyone nervous, but I always thought Lwaxana to be remarkably balanced considering what she would see inside people's heads.

I've read Q-in-Law it was funny :D

no_average_girl said...

wow, what a mother-in-law to have, Commander! :-P

starbender said...

we meet again Jean-Luc!

Paperback Writer said...


Thank goodness my mother in law isn't that forward!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm not too keen on being either Best Man or conducting it, with the lsck of clothing they have.

Professor, yes, we do occasionally go on important missions..but those golf clubs count!

Osquer, a very droll comment!

Vampi, you'll be invited as long as you don't bite the guests.

Merlyn, Lwaxana is one to tackle the Emperor.

Florence, Lwaxana makes EVERYONE nervous!

Maegan, not an ideal mother in law. Poor Will!

Miss Cellania said...

I had forgotten about her.. that was Majel Barret, wasn't it? It gave me such a memory jog to see her face.

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