We reassemble back in my Ready Room after a break in Ten Forward to discuss what happened in our week-long Shore Leave.
Riker is looking worse for wear after having two Klingon Bloodwines and some donuts.
That visit to Betazed to see Lwaxana with Deanna didn't do him any good.
"How about you, Data?" I ask, "I know you were going to a series of lectures on quantum field mechanics and biogenic research with your friend Jennifer Baxter. What were they like?"
"Actually, Captain," Data tells us, "I only went to the first one, which concentrated on robotics. There, I engaged in a dispute with Professor Szard over Android Rights; he dismissed us from the hall, so Jennifer and I did not visit any more of them."
"So what did you do instead?"
"Jennifer and I went to the local nightclubs there." Data continues, "The Groovy Klingon Club was a most enlightening establishment, with an 'all you can drink' policy. The owners were not happy when they found that alcohol has no effect on me."
"How about you, Ro?" Jadzia asks her, "Was your Bajoran trip of the moons as good as you thought it would be?"
"It was disgraceful!" Ro snorts, with all the signs of a disgruntled customer, "The tour organisers are all con artists; the entire trip was full of optional excursions. A person has to pay a lot of Credits to go on them by taking a shuttle to see the beautiful sights, or remain stranded on the main ship. I tell you, if the reps ever try to join the Maquis, they'll be sorry!"
"They should be assimilated!" declares Seven. Ro agrees.
I roll my eyes.
"Did you have a good week, Beverly?" I say to her, "I know you went to see Wesley about Karena, the Amazon girl he's been forced to serve."
Bev bursts into tears; I give her a tissue.
"I think I've lost him to that girl!" she wails.
Does that mean he won't be trying to save the ship that only seems to fall apart when he is on it?
"When I went to see him" Beverly continues, "I was greeted by that Amazon barricading the door with her spear; she refused to let me in to see who she called 'her servant'. It was only when Wes agreed to cook a banquet for all her Amazonian friends next time they visit that she backed down and let me in. While she polished her battle armour upstairs, Wes told me that the Academy authorities insist I introduce her to Academy life, as she may be nervous in her first year."
"I believe that may be unlikely, Doctor." states Data.
"What about your visit to the Borg Cube, Seven?" asks Deanna, "We're all interested in what sort of report you gave to the Borg Queen."
"I informed her that I have learnt a lot about behaviour" replies Seven Of Nine in an expressionless tone, "I mentioned that however there is still a lot to find out before the Queen returns to assimilate you all."
"Well that's comforting to know!" says Riker in a dry manner. Seven fails to understand this comment.
"All that's left to talk about is your trip to Torquay, Captain." Geordi observes, "What happened there?"
"I went to the horse races." I tell them, "My hovercar was parked right next to the track so that as the horses went past, I could virtually touch them. As currency is no longer used, there was nothing to bet on. There was an aeriel display by the Red Starships over the town. I always had difficulty parking my hovercar there; it was even worse in the old days, of course, when we couldn't park on top of each other."
"Anything else, Captain?" asks Riker.
"Errr...I was accosted by a bride-to be who was with her friends for a pre-wedding walk around town, and kissed me on the cheek as a victim for their holographic camera."
I redden a little. Bev laughs.
"Sorry." I tell her, "I don't have any pictures!"
She smiles and whispers in my ear.
"The best ones never do."