Thursday, August 03, 2006
Meet The Parents
I've tried to put this off for ages, but I've got to go.
My girlfriend, Trisha Lewis wants me to go and meet her parents.
I've ran out of excuses, so the two of us are beaming down to Earth, where Trisha and I will meet them. I'll be spending a couple of days at their house.
To be honest, I'd rather be tuning up the Warp Drive in Engineering.
"Sometimes I think you love those engines more than you do me!" Trisha said to me earlier this week.
Anyway, the two of us have just beamed down to the designated landing point; we are greeted by two figures. Trisha rushes forward.
"Daddy!" she exclaims, "Mom! So good to see you again."
The two figures look at me sharply. It's assesment time.
"Daddy" she says carefully, "This is my boyfriend, Geordi; Geordi, this is my father."
"I'm Lou" he replies sharply. He is a tough, large man.
"Geordi" continues Trisha, "This is my mother"
"Charmed, I'm sure" says the lady, "You can call Mary."
We all go over to their house; they seem to like me, after all.
For a long time we have a friendly chat, although I sense that Lou is a cauldron waiting to explode at a particular moment.
After the meal, Mary takes Trisha into the kitchen; that's always a bad sign when the boyfriend is left alone with the father.
"Right then" starts Lou, "What are your intentions towards my daughter?"
"Excuse me?" I reply.
"You know what I mean" he continues, "Do you intend to marry her and can you support her on your salary?"
"I'm the Chief Engineer of the starship Enterprise!" I protest, "It's a very prestigious job, Mr Lewis."
"Don't give me that!" he sneers, "When are you going to get a decent job? I'm not having my Trisha chasing you all around the stars. If you're an engineer, get a job fixing hover-cars, while Trisha can look after the house."
"With all due respect, Mr Lewis" I say, "I think you're being a little old fashioned about it all. Trisha and I have a good relationship aboard the Enterprise."
"Well you'll be sleeping on the sofa tonight" he tells me, "I'm locking Trisha's door. Don't think that you will...
The kitchen door bursts open; Mary and Trisha come in.
"Are you boys getting on?" asks Mary, "Having a friendly chat?"
Lou mumbles angrily to himself.
The front door then opens; a young woman with long brown hair and wearing a micro-mini dress comes in and sees me.
"Well!" she exclaims, "Who do we have here?"
Trisha immediately looks angry and rushes over to her.
"You said you wouldn't be in tonight!"
"Dear sister" she replies, "You know I can always change my mind."
She comes towards me.
"Hello. I'm Tania Lewis; Trisha's sister." she says in a seductive mannner, "No wonder Trish kept you under wraps; you're a real hunk."
"Tania!" shouts Trisha, "Keep your hands off Geordi; he's mine!"
The two women glare at each other.
"Tania." says Lou, "You were always a bad lot; making your mother upset."
I can sense a family conflict coming up. Why is it that here in the 24th Century, family squabbles have yet to be sorted out?
I press my Com badge so that a buzz goes off in both mine and Trisha's.
"What's that?" asks Lou.
"Errr...emergency." I tell him hurriedly, "It means we are both needed on the Enterprise urgently. Come on, Trisha, we'll have to go."
Once out of the house, Trisha kisses me.
"Thanks Geordi" she says, "We get along just fine on the Enterprise."