Thursday, August 03, 2006

Meet The Parents



I've tried to put this off for ages, but I've got to go.

My girlfriend, Trisha Lewis wants me to go and meet her parents.

I've ran out of excuses, so the two of us are beaming down to Earth, where Trisha and I will meet them. I'll be spending a couple of days at their house.

To be honest, I'd rather be tuning up the Warp Drive in Engineering.

"Sometimes I think you love those engines more than you do me!" Trisha said to me earlier this week.

Anyway, the two of us have just beamed down to the designated landing point; we are greeted by two figures. Trisha rushes forward.

"Daddy!" she exclaims, "Mom! So good to see you again."

The two figures look at me sharply. It's assesment time.

"Daddy" she says carefully, "This is my boyfriend, Geordi; Geordi, this is my father."

"I'm Lou" he replies sharply. He is a tough, large man.

"Geordi" continues Trisha, "This is my mother"

"Charmed, I'm sure" says the lady, "You can call Mary."

We all go over to their house; they seem to like me, after all.

For a long time we have a friendly chat, although I sense that Lou is a cauldron waiting to explode at a particular moment.

After the meal, Mary takes Trisha into the kitchen; that's always a bad sign when the boyfriend is left alone with the father.

"Right then" starts Lou, "What are your intentions towards my daughter?"

"Excuse me?" I reply.

"You know what I mean" he continues, "Do you intend to marry her and can you support her on your salary?"

"I'm the Chief Engineer of the starship Enterprise!" I protest, "It's a very prestigious job, Mr Lewis."

"Don't give me that!" he sneers, "When are you going to get a decent job? I'm not having my Trisha chasing you all around the stars. If you're an engineer, get a job fixing hover-cars, while Trisha can look after the house."

"With all due respect, Mr Lewis" I say, "I think you're being a little old fashioned about it all. Trisha and I have a good relationship aboard the Enterprise."

"Well you'll be sleeping on the sofa tonight" he tells me, "I'm locking Trisha's door. Don't think that you will...

The kitchen door bursts open; Mary and Trisha come in.

"Are you boys getting on?" asks Mary, "Having a friendly chat?"

Lou mumbles angrily to himself.

The front door then opens; a young woman with long brown hair and wearing a micro-mini dress comes in and sees me.

"Well!" she exclaims, "Who do we have here?"

Trisha immediately looks angry and rushes over to her.

"You said you wouldn't be in tonight!"

"Dear sister" she replies, "You know I can always change my mind."

She comes towards me.

"Hello. I'm Tania Lewis; Trisha's sister." she says in a seductive mannner, "No wonder Trish kept you under wraps; you're a real hunk."

"Tania!" shouts Trisha, "Keep your hands off Geordi; he's mine!"

The two women glare at each other.

"Tania." says Lou, "You were always a bad lot; making your mother upset."

I can sense a family conflict coming up. Why is it that here in the 24th Century, family squabbles have yet to be sorted out?

I press my Com badge so that a buzz goes off in both mine and Trisha's.

"What's that?" asks Lou.

"Errr...emergency." I tell him hurriedly, "It means we are both needed on the Enterprise urgently. Come on, Trisha, we'll have to go."

Once out of the house, Trisha kisses me.

"Thanks Geordi" she says, "We get along just fine on the Enterprise."

23 comments:

Miss Cellania said...

Its ALWAYS a good idea to have your "pocket beeper" of whatever sort handy! Too bad for him (and good for us readers) that they will have to return and complete the visit sometime.

Jana said...

Uh-oh, Geordi, you might want to just elope (if it ever comes to that!).

Warbird said...

luckily she wasnt a twin sister

Me said...

What a great boyfriend you are. Most guys would have lapped up the attention from having two sisters fight over him.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

kelly: are you nuts. I would raterh be mauled by dogs after covering myself with bacon then get two sister in a snit over me.

In the end they will always be sister and said guy will be chopped liver. It goes worse if one of them is armed.

Geordi: you should have reminded the dad that you are both in your mid 30's and just tone his @ZZ down :)

Professor Xavier said...

I can just picture Geordi in greasy overalls working on a car engine, stuck in some small hick town. Maybe you should design him a holodeck program of that for his birthday or something.

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

I guess your girlfriend is quite possessive. Careful though.

no_average_girl said...

nice thinking, Mr. LaForge! :-)

Captain, sorry it's been so long since my visit...I'll be more regular :-)

dragonflyfilly said...

most women JUST don't understand about engines, do they?

well, good luck meeting "the parents", i'm sure you will make the obligatory "good impression"

cheers for now,
pj

Florence said...

Some people you just can't please.

Wedge Antillies said...

Hah, parents... can't live with them, can't shoot them out of a photon torpedo tube! So being a starfleet engineer is a lot like being a doctor, in that you are always on call?

And, AOC? Good call.

Osquer said...

I'm laughing so hard right now I can barely type! I had an arrangement with a co-worker who has since retired. Whenever a certain someone would corner him and start rambling on, I would dial his pager for him!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Warbird, there could have been a LOT of problems if she was a twin sister!

Kelly, I know what you mean, but I agree with Army of (Cl)one); sisters are sisters.

Professor, I think Geordi would be an excellent garage mechanic.

Maegan, great to have you dropping in.

Dragonflyfilly, meeting the parents is a tough hurdle.

Florence, you are so right.

Wedge, there are many we would like to shoot out of a torpedo tube.

Osquer, perhaps a coal-driven Enterprise might be safer. Would Geordi want to shovel the coal in the furnace?

colleen said...

OOh this should be a real Star Trek script. Is your girlfriend an alien.

Me and michele want to know.

Paperback Writer said...

That sounds a lot like when Loki met my parents....

Vickie said...

So Michelle says to me, "Vickiev, you have GOT to stop by Jen-Luc's site. I'm telling ya girl, you will just die of laughter when you read his latest." Well, what do you know? She's right again!

That Michelle sure knows her stuff eh?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Good thinking, geordi. It was either that or stun them with a phaser.

Cathy said...

Okay, very good story. Good luck to you and the parents. When my hubby and I decided to get married (and did so after 3 weeks), his parents disowned us. YES, I said 3 weeks and got married! Still do so today. We're now coming up on 10 years married. I think you'll do just fine. Good luck!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

It seems a lot of you relate to this experience.

No, Colleen, I don't think my girlfriend was an alien!

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