Thursday, January 19, 2006

Time And Motion Study

Today, Starfleet are sending a Time & Motion expert to see how efficient we are at running the Enterprise.

Knowing my luck, this will be the day that everything breaks down.

At 08:00, a man beams on board; he has a clipboard with a pad attached and also a stopwatch and pen.

"Good morning Mr...? I say to him, trying to shake his hand.

"The name is Jordan Tonks," he says quickly, and ignoring my handshake, "formalities cost time; the ship would be running a lot better if we dispensed with formalities." He writes something on his pad and notices Worf.

"What is this Officer doing here? Should he not be working elsewhere? His energies can be channeled into something better than standing around."

"This is Lieutenant Worf." I tell Tonks, "He is Head of Security, and is here to protect us."

"Against what?" demands Tonks, "Send him to do something else, Captain."

I indicate to Worf, who has that irritated look and mumbles something I didn't quite catch in the Klingon language.

"Let's go to Engineering." says Tonks.

We arrive there.

Tonks looks around and makes a few notes on his pad; he also shakes his head. Geordi comes over.

"What is it, Captain?" he asks.

"This is Jordan Tonks, a Time & Motion expert" I tell him.

"Why do you have so many people working here, Chief Engineer?" he asks, "Can't it run with just a few individuals?"

"Generally so." Geordi replies, with a slightly annoyed look, "But we need to keep it running at optimum efficiency."

Tonks tuts and writes a few more things down.

"To the Bridge." he demands.

As we travel, children walk past.

"And what job do THEY so, Captain?" he asks sarcastically.

"This is a family ship" I answer, "Therefore some of the crew have their children with them so they don't lose contact."

"A waste of Starfleet time and resources; the effort used to teech and maintain these children could be put to better use.

I've started to get very irritated with Mr Tonks.

We arrive at the Bridge. He looks in horror at all the people working there.

"This is ridiculous, Captain. What are all these people doing on the Bridge? They look at their own screens and never do anything. You have a Counselor sitting there. Can't the crew sort out their own problems. You have an android sitting there; shouldn't his job be given to a live person?"

That's done it!

"I tell you what the only waste on resources I know, Tonks " I tell him, "That's when Starfleet spend all their time on training people who can't do anything except Time & Motion'. Your arrival here has only delayed us carrying out more important missions."

"Now Captain, I think you're being a little...." stutters Tonks.

"Mr Worf, if you're not doing anything else right now, would you kindly escort our guest off the ship."

"With pleasure, Sir." says Worf with a smile.

I sit down in the chair, quite satisfied.

"Feeling better now, Sir?" Riker asks.

"Yes, Number One." I reply, "I've learnt that those who Can, join Starfleet, and those who Can't become Time & Motion Experts."


Ciera said...

Nicely done, Jean-Luc! Don't let 'em get away with any guff. uh, hope he doesn't file a complaint though! :)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Seems like it would've wasted less time to just not let the guy on at all...

Running2Ks said...

Glad that dottering inefficient waste of space was removed post-haste!

Lori said...

I can almost hear the tone in your voice when you said...Yes number 1!!!

Have a great day!!!!

Trinity13 said...

Nice job Capt! Too bad Bev wasn't there to witness!!!

Master Yoda said...

Annoying he was, but one good point he did have. Need a counselor to sit on the bridge why do you? Always wondered that, I have.

The Incurable Insomniac said...

You go, Jean-Luc!

Now stop wasting my time and let me get back to work...

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

You should have set your health and safety officer on him, she could have bored him to death with why things are done as they are, except for Troi. Doesn't that woman ever have office hours?

Vampirella said...

well done Capt
you did make sure Worf escort him to the transpoter room and not the wastedisposal unit didnt you

Chris W. said...

Yes!! This is a classic Picard moment! Diplomatic to a point, then watch out! I could just imagine the next scene, with Worf putting Mr Tonks in a photon torpedo casing and blasting him back to Starfleet. Good show, Captain!

Reminds me of the "experts" at my employer's home office!

Son Goku said...

Why did you have to transport him here? " Do you really need to say the word Kamhameha? And what's with all the hand gestures? Wouldn't be more efficent to just attack you enemy without talking to them first?"
Leave me alone Tongs Tunks whatever your name is.


That Time and Moton expert was a nurd. Of course you are very well experienced in managing an enterprise otherwise you wouldn't be captain. Right?

Michael Manning said...

Captain: Exemplary!

no_average_girl said...

anybody who has enough time of their life to waste to become "experts" at something like that should be escorted off the efficient enterpries!

Jaime H. said...


November Rain said...

lol unfortunely every company / system thinks these guys are ness

Chrixean said...

My goodness, that guy is one total pain in the ass! Only dorks like him would be assigned to such a job. He probably had a lot of bullies beat down on him in his highschool days and to put people down is his way of getting back at them. Tsk, tsk...

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Chrixean, you may be right in saying Tonks was probably bullied at school.

Vampirella, the transporter room and the waste disposal are one and the same thing.

Jardena, Deanna's work isn't a nine to five job. She can be needed anytime of day.

Master Yoda, an empathic counselor gives good advice on the people on the screen. I'd prefer Bev sitting next to me, though; as Trin says, it's a pity she wasn't there.

Ciera, I'll see that any complaint gets lost in subspace channels.

Ciera said...


dddragon said...

I worked in an office years ago when one of these "experts" was hired to help efficiency. She was fired for doing the things that she criticized the company's staff for doing.

Pink Pen said...

**Waves** Hi! Here from Michele's!

Jen said...

You tell him, Captain! Yeah!

Jabafatboy said...

Have delt with more than one of those peckerwoods in my time. Good show mon capaitain .

Did ya beam him into open space ?

Darn !!

Stationery Queen said...

Not much to add that others haven't said.

Just wanted to say hi, JLP!


Pieces of Me said...

haha good job!! Thanks for the nice comment..TTYL

M. C. Pearson said...

Tee hee hee! Take that you so called expert!!!

Hey, I'm watching some of your historical documents...just rented them from blockbuster on-line. Very interesting.

Thanks for visiting me and sending the is starting to work!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

From the above responses, I think we'd ALL like to beam Time & Motion people into space!

Anonymous said...

豆豆聊天室 aio交友愛情館 2008真情寫真 2009真情寫真 aa片免費看 捷克論壇 微風論壇 大眾論壇 plus論壇 080視訊聊天室 情色視訊交友90739 美女交友-成人聊天室 色情小說 做愛成人圖片區 豆豆色情聊天室 080豆豆聊天室 小辣妹影音交友網 台中情人聊天室 桃園星願聊天室 高雄網友聊天室 新中台灣聊天室 中部網友聊天室 嘉義之光聊天室 基隆海岸聊天室 中壢網友聊天室 南台灣聊天室 南部聊坊聊天室 台南不夜城聊天室 南部網友聊天室 屏東網友聊天室 台南網友聊天室 屏東聊坊聊天室 雲林網友聊天室 大學生BBS聊天室 網路學院聊天室 屏東夜語聊天室 孤男寡女聊天室 一網情深聊天室 心靈饗宴聊天室 流星花園聊天室 食色男女色情聊天室 真愛宣言交友聊天室 情人皇朝聊天室 上班族成人聊天室 上班族f1影音視訊聊天室 哈雷視訊聊天室 080影音視訊聊天室 38不夜城聊天室 援交聊天室080 080哈啦聊天室 台北已婚聊天室 已婚廣場聊天室 夢幻家族聊天室 摸摸扣扣同學會聊天室 520情色聊天室 QQ成人交友聊天室 免費視訊網愛聊天室 愛情公寓免費聊天室 拉子性愛聊天室 柔情網友聊天室 哈啦影音交友網 哈啦影音視訊聊天室 櫻井莉亞三點全露寫真集 123上班族聊天室 尋夢園上班族聊天室 成人聊天室上班族 080上班族聊天室 6k聊天室 粉紅豆豆聊天室 080豆豆聊天網 新豆豆聊天室 080聊天室 免費音樂試聽 流行音樂試聽 免費aa片試看A片 免費a長片線上看 色情貼影片 免費a長片 本土成人貼圖站 大台灣情色網 台灣男人幫論壇 A圖網 嘟嘟成人電影網 火辣春夢貼圖網 情色貼圖俱樂部 台灣成人電影 絲襪美腿樂園 18美女貼圖區 柔情聊天網 707網愛聊天室聯盟 台北69色情貼圖區 38女孩情色網 台灣映像館 波波成人情色網站 美女成人貼圖區 無碼貼圖力量 色妹妹性愛貼圖區 日本女優貼圖網 日本美少女貼圖區 亞洲風暴情色貼圖網 哈啦聊天室 美少女自拍貼圖 辣妹成人情色網 台北女孩情色網 辣手貼圖情色網 AV無碼女優影片 男女情色寫真貼圖 a片天使俱樂部 萍水相逢遊戲區 平水相逢遊戲區 免費視訊交友90739 免費視訊聊天 辣妹視訊 - 影音聊天網 080視訊聊天室 日本美女肛交 美女工廠貼圖區 百分百貼圖區 亞洲成人電影情色網 台灣本土自拍貼圖網 麻辣貼圖情色網 好色客成人圖片貼圖區 711成人AV貼圖區 台灣美女貼圖區 筱萱成人論壇 咪咪情色貼圖區 momokoko同學會視訊 kk272視訊 情色文學小站 成人情色貼圖區 嘟嘟成人網 嘟嘟情人色網 - 貼圖區 免費色情a片下載 台灣情色論壇 成人影片分享 免費視訊聊天區 微風 成人 論壇 kiss文學區 taiwankiss文學區