In The Garden

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All the cadets are now returning to Starfleet Academy after their Christmas break.

That means more trouble for me, I can tell you!

While they've been out having a great time doing who-knows-what, I've had to keep these Gardens in order; after all, they don't do it by themselves.

The authorities just expect them to always look like that, no matter what, but I tell you, if there is one blade of grass that isn't the right length, they look pityingly at me and whisper to themselves, "Maybe it's time to retire the old boy."

They're not getting me out of the way that easily!

When I started here, er....so many years ago, the place was a shambles. It looked like a primeval jungle. The authorites were a little worried about it all. However, they noticed that I had a trowel, weedkiller and lawnmower, and so asked me if I'd like to be the gardener here.

Well, all this is my work, and don't you forget it. I keep a careful watch to make sure nothing underhand goes on. Plenty does, I can tell you.

These cadets are so lovesick, the little vandals always express their adoration at the cost of my Garden. A rose disappears, or a tree might get hacked. The other day, I caught that know-all Wesley Crusher carving 'Wes loves Marlena' on a rare tree. I gave him a big clip on the ear for that.

The worst thing, is it isn't just the students. I also caught Captain Picard carving 'JLP luvs Bev' on the same tree. I gave him a clip on BOTH ears for that. The little whippersnapper ought to know better.

What are my trees? A graffitti zone?

A lot of the little devils ask me why I've never gone for a Starfleet Commission, and been a Captain or something like that. Well, when I was, er...younger, I wanted to do all that, went through the works etc. When it got to the Interview, they said that 'My talents were ideally suited to the Garden', and as I was doing such a good job, they thought I should stay there.

What an insult!

It's the case of doing too well in something, so they don't move me. No one else would do the gardening job, so here I am. No matter that I could have been Captaining my own ship against marauding aliens a long time ago.

The only aliens I get to fight against are those threatening the growth of the plants.

Still, I'm the centre of all knowledge in Starfleet; while I'm working innocently in the Garden, I ever every sort of secret being qietly discussed between cadets right up to Admirals. The Federation President has whispered a few things as well.

Excuse me; all those thoughts about neing turned down for a Commission has left me in a bad mood, and I have to clip a cadet around the year to feel better again.

I wonder if Wesley Crusher is around?