Tuesday, January 03, 2006

In The Garden

.

All the cadets are now returning to Starfleet Academy after their Christmas break.

That means more trouble for me, I can tell you!

While they've been out having a great time doing who-knows-what, I've had to keep these Gardens in order; after all, they don't do it by themselves.

The authorities just expect them to always look like that, no matter what, but I tell you, if there is one blade of grass that isn't the right length, they look pityingly at me and whisper to themselves, "Maybe it's time to retire the old boy."

They're not getting me out of the way that easily!

When I started here, er....so many years ago, the place was a shambles. It looked like a primeval jungle. The authorites were a little worried about it all. However, they noticed that I had a trowel, weedkiller and lawnmower, and so asked me if I'd like to be the gardener here.

Well, all this is my work, and don't you forget it. I keep a careful watch to make sure nothing underhand goes on. Plenty does, I can tell you.

These cadets are so lovesick, the little vandals always express their adoration at the cost of my Garden. A rose disappears, or a tree might get hacked. The other day, I caught that know-all Wesley Crusher carving 'Wes loves Marlena' on a rare tree. I gave him a big clip on the ear for that.

The worst thing, is it isn't just the students. I also caught Captain Picard carving 'JLP luvs Bev' on the same tree. I gave him a clip on BOTH ears for that. The little whippersnapper ought to know better.

What are my trees? A graffitti zone?

A lot of the little devils ask me why I've never gone for a Starfleet Commission, and been a Captain or something like that. Well, when I was, er...younger, I wanted to do all that, went through the works etc. When it got to the Interview, they said that 'My talents were ideally suited to the Garden', and as I was doing such a good job, they thought I should stay there.

What an insult!

It's the case of doing too well in something, so they don't move me. No one else would do the gardening job, so here I am. No matter that I could have been Captaining my own ship against marauding aliens a long time ago.

The only aliens I get to fight against are those threatening the growth of the plants.

Still, I'm the centre of all knowledge in Starfleet; while I'm working innocently in the Garden, I ever every sort of secret being qietly discussed between cadets right up to Admirals. The Federation President has whispered a few things as well.

Excuse me; all those thoughts about neing turned down for a Commission has left me in a bad mood, and I have to clip a cadet around the year to feel better again.

I wonder if Wesley Crusher is around?

30 comments:

Mother Damnable said...

I know how you feel, I've still to tidy up and turn the compost!

Would you tell Jean-Luc, if you see him that I've finally managed to get my Links working and I've linked to here.

I trust that's OK?

no_average_girl said...

oh, i never realized that much work went into that garden...next time i see the beautiful blades of grass and see the roses and trees in their perfect spots, i'll think of all the work and effort you've put into making that garden one of the most beautiful spots in the whole federation!

Nettie said...

I want a cadet to clip. It sounds so therapeutic.

Trinity13 said...

Ahhh, poor Wesley. You know Capt, he acts just like you did when you were his age!

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Poor Wesley.

Captain, you must stand your ground.

Love the photograph.

M. C. Pearson said...

So, did you use hedge clippers on the ears??? LOL...give JLP a break. It's hard enough for him to own up to his feelings to Bev and you have to go and clip him twice for it. You old curmungeon, you!

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i guess they just don't understand what the garden represents. some people!!!

Ciera said...

Boothby! What a pleasent surprise! :)

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

Don't really think it to be an insult. Maybe that was you just felt at that time but always put in mind that Love for beauty and for all lovely and wonderful things is indispensable for our growth. It brings reverence and a sense of transcendance into personal love and indeed into all life....so go ahead clip some more cadets. They deserve it. (lol)

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

correcton.....that was how you just felt. sorry

Professor Xavier said...

It sounds like these kids need one heck of a lot of redirection or else they will get away with whatever they can. Clearly, you have to draw a line in the sand. Or in this case, in the grass. Let 'em know who carries the hedge clippers. Shout out your cry with pride - "Stay off the grass!"

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Maybe the cadets could all pitch in and buy the gardener a bucket of miracle grow, that might make him happier, maybe...

Pieces of Me said...

Wow I am trying to follow this garden talk LOL...I will just say happy early birthday!!

Shelley said...

You know, gardens are very important. I am with you on that one! Although, you should take the "vandalism" as a compliment! If they're stealing roses and carving names on trees, it must be a truly special place. If you find noone is paying attention to the detail and effort you put into the garden, I would play a little joke on everyone. I wonder what would happen if you dug the gardens up and replaced everything with Chia Pets for a joke!!??!! I hear "the pottery that grows" takes very little care. But then, that might make your position redundant...sorry...that probably would backfire. Good luck Boothby! You deserve a reward just for putting up with the cadets.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY in 10 days by the way JLP! How old are ye now, oh fearless commander??!!

Captain Berk said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Captain Berk said...

I remember you!

Remember when you caught me with that Snarrgg beast trapped up my rear end after the academy graduation party?

I'll never forget the look of utter disgust on your face when you saw me on all fours with that god-awful beast in me!

Ha ha!

Good to hear you are well

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh Boothby what's captaining a ship compared to dominion over the entire Starfleet Academy, it's grounds, students and staff?

Hey, can I see those antennae pop out of the top of your head?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

My head is still hurting from that clip that Boothby gave me.

Thanks for those who wished me a happy early birthday.

Shelley, my age is classified under Starfleet regulations.

Vampirella said...

Happy Bday capt
and I cant wait to see you and Beverly performance in the dance dance :)

Jabafatboy said...

Carve Name in a tree !!!

What ever happened to the fine art of sprayin your girls name on an overpass, er up on the water tower.

Youngins always want to do the easy stuff nowadays.

Tanda said...

Mon Capitan-Thank you for gracing my blog with your presence. It's always nice to see a new body beamed down to my planet. You're welcomed to coffee and sweet cakes anytime.

I think Wesley's punishment was warranted. Although, being a rather passive person, I would have taken his tazer away and sent him to his quarters promptly.

Marie said...

Hello, Captain Picard. :) Thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog yesterday. I thought I would come by and do a little exploring. :) I hope you're enjoying your evening.

M. C. Pearson said...

Happy Birthday Cappie!

Alice said...

Howdy Captain,

I transported in from Nettie's site.

Very cool.

Alice

Vampirella said...

dont forget your trophy capt and thanks for coming to my party

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Vampirella, glad to have competed in the dance competition.

Tanda, Marie & Alice, welcome to my Journal. Hope you'll visit again.

Running2Ks said...

I want to know all of the troubles he's seen and the stuff he knows!

Shelley said...

Captain, Re: "Shelley, my age is classified under Starfleet regulations." Awww....come on....

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