Today, I'm interviewing to members of Starfleet Academy who have applied to be an Ensign on the Enterprise.
I ought to leave this sort of Riker; after all, he is responsible for personel. However, I like to see the crew I've got. Riker would accept anyone who gave him a free donut.
I sit behind the desk, trying to look important, as I await the first applicant.
Deanna comes in with a furtive looking male youth.
"Captain, this is William Bradley." Deanna tells me as she leaves the room.
"Hello, William" I say, as I hold me hand out to shake his, "I'm Captain Picard."
"Call me Biff." he replies, as he slouches down on the seat, ignores my hand and starts to chew gum.
"We don't chew gum in Starfleet." I mention to him.
Biff takes the gum out and places it underneath the chair.
"Now, William, why did you join Starfleet Academy in the first place."
"My parents sent me there," he replies, "They thought it would keep me out of trouble. I was always ending up in the penal colonies."
"Why do you wish to be on the Enterprise, and what would you want to do here.?"
"Well," he says eagerly, "It's a great chance to zap a few aliens out of existence. I would love to start using a phaser on them. Set on 'kill', of course! I think 'Security' is the best place."
"William!" I tell him, "May I remind you that the Federation is a group based on harmony and peaceful co-existence. We strive to preserve life on our missions, not to destroy it."
"Yeah." Biff comments, "But not everybody wants to preserve the Federation's life. You need a few tough guys around to see off the enemy. That's where I come in."
"Err...thanks, William" I reply, "You can leave now."
Biff departs from the from, after first taking his chewing gum from underneath the seat. He looks rather pleased with how it all went.
Deanna returns with a 6 ft tall blond girl wearing a long red dress slit to the waist, with a revealing top."
"Um...Captain, this is Lola Deloras" says Deanna; she looks in disgust as she leaves the room.
"Miss Deloras" I inform her, "Your clothing is not suitable for an Ensign interview, and does not follow Starfleet guidelines."
"Oh really?" she says seductively, "I think it's just perfect."
She leans across the desk until I am a few inches away from her.
"Err...sit down, Miss Doloras, and we'll start the interview." I nervously say to her.
"Call me Lola." she says with a purr.
"Er, yes....Lola, why did you join Starfleet Academy?"
"So that I could be part of the Federation; I've always believed in mutual harmony, togetherness...anything like that."
"Umm..very good, Lola." I say to her, "Why do you want to be on the Enterprise, and what would you want to do here?"
"This ship is the best in Starfleet; you are the best Captain. We could spread that harmony together. I would best in 'Communications', don't you think? I've always believed in First Contact."
Lola leans across the desk again.
"Errr...ummmm, yes, thank you, Lola"
Lola slowly stands up and walks towards the door; just before she leaves, she winks at me and departs.
Riker comes in afterwards.
"What did you think of the applicants, Captain?"
"They were remarkably alike, Number One." I reply, "Both scare me in different ways. I think we'll post them to Deep Space Nine where they will be out of trouble."
"What do you think Captain Sisko will say?" Riker says.
"He probably won't speak to me again."