We have another Starfleet Official coming aboard today.
Why do they always pick our ship? Is it because we are the flagship of the fleet that we get so many people come? Instead of exploring the stars, self-elected officials come aboard to tell us what to do.
A woman beams aboard. She is wearing a full dress uniform and looks very prim and proper.
"Hello Captain Picard," she says, "I am Lieutenant Veronica Sanders, from the Morals Division; the purpose of my visit is to assess the level of fraternisation within crew members. Starfleet are worried that too many personal relationships are developing on their ships and that this encourges morals to be loosened. As a result, proper discipline is not enforced"
"Welcome, Veronica" I say to her, and go to shake her hand. She pulls back quickly.
"What do you think you are doing?" she demands, "You try to address me as 'Veronica' and then try to hold my hand! That's a fine example to set to the rest of the crew!"
I go with her out of the transporter room and show her around the ship. Riker and Deanna approach. They are holding hands.
"What is that Commander doing with that woman!" she shouts and separates them.
"What's going on?" asks a puzzled Riker.
"Err...Number One, this is Lieutenant Veronica Sanders from the Morals Division of Starfleet. She's trying to ensure that morals aren't out of hand on the ship."
"Oh, er...no, Lieutenant, Counselor Troi here was just a little unsteady on her feet after feeling dizzy, weren't you, Deanna?"
"Umm....yes, that's right, Will, I mean sir."
Veronica seems more or less satisfied and we carry on walking.
Beverly approaches; oh dear.
"Hi, Jean-Luc" she says, "Are you ready for our date at the Enterprise cinema tonight then? I'm looking forward to it."
"What!" explodes Veronica, "You have assignations with the ship's Doctor? This will go down in my report!"
"Who's this sour faced Lieutenant?" asks Beverly. I tell her. Beverly quickly walks away.
Veronica and I carry on walking. Jennifer Baxter asks me to tell Data that their date this evening will have to be at 20:00. All this goes in Veronica's report.
Geordi approaches and says can he have tomorrow morning off as he and Trisha Lewis want to use the holodeck and go skiing. Something else for the book.
As we travel on, she sees Deanna kissing Worf. Veronica is speechless.
"Shall we go to Ten Forward?" I suggest. She agrees.
"Err...would you like to try this delicate little drink?" I wink at Guinan and give Veronica a Klingon Bloodwine and a couple of Bajoran Brandies. Before long, she is dazed.
"You know," she slurs, " You ur a moshed attratif mon"
"That's encouraging fraternisation isn't it, Lieutenant?"
"Ah, phooey!" she replies, "We'f all get to haf some fun, Captain...can I call you Jean-Luc?"
I indicate to Worf, who is nearby with his security officers.
"Mr Worf, will you escort our guest back to the transporter room and beam her back to Starbase 12 where she came from. See that her report 'goes' in the usual way."
"I understand what you mean, sir" replies Worf, and smiles as his security team support Veronica who staggers out singing 'Dont Dilly Dally On The Way."
We like to see that our guests have a good time!