Thursday, January 26, 2006


We have another Starfleet Official coming aboard today.

Why do they always pick our ship? Is it because we are the flagship of the fleet that we get so many people come? Instead of exploring the stars, self-elected officials come aboard to tell us what to do.

A woman beams aboard. She is wearing a full dress uniform and looks very prim and proper.

"Hello Captain Picard," she says, "I am Lieutenant Veronica Sanders, from the Morals Division; the purpose of my visit is to assess the level of fraternisation within crew members. Starfleet are worried that too many personal relationships are developing on their ships and that this encourges morals to be loosened. As a result, proper discipline is not enforced"

"Welcome, Veronica" I say to her, and go to shake her hand. She pulls back quickly.

"What do you think you are doing?" she demands, "You try to address me as 'Veronica' and then try to hold my hand! That's a fine example to set to the rest of the crew!"

I go with her out of the transporter room and show her around the ship. Riker and Deanna approach. They are holding hands.

"What is that Commander doing with that woman!" she shouts and separates them.

"What's going on?" asks a puzzled Riker.

"Err...Number One, this is Lieutenant Veronica Sanders from the Morals Division of Starfleet. She's trying to ensure that morals aren't out of hand on the ship."

"Oh,, Lieutenant, Counselor Troi here was just a little unsteady on her feet after feeling dizzy, weren't you, Deanna?"

"Umm....yes, that's right, Will, I mean sir."

Veronica seems more or less satisfied and we carry on walking.

Beverly approaches; oh dear.

"Hi, Jean-Luc" she says, "Are you ready for our date at the Enterprise cinema tonight then? I'm looking forward to it."

"What!" explodes Veronica, "You have assignations with the ship's Doctor? This will go down in my report!"

"Who's this sour faced Lieutenant?" asks Beverly. I tell her. Beverly quickly walks away.

Veronica and I carry on walking. Jennifer Baxter asks me to tell Data that their date this evening will have to be at 20:00. All this goes in Veronica's report.

Geordi approaches and says can he have tomorrow morning off as he and Trisha Lewis want to use the holodeck and go skiing. Something else for the book.

As we travel on, she sees Deanna kissing Worf. Veronica is speechless.

"Shall we go to Ten Forward?" I suggest. She agrees.

"Err...would you like to try this delicate little drink?" I wink at Guinan and give Veronica a Klingon Bloodwine and a couple of Bajoran Brandies. Before long, she is dazed.

"You know," she slurs, " You ur a moshed attratif mon"

"That's encouraging fraternisation isn't it, Lieutenant?"

"Ah, phooey!" she replies, "We'f all get to haf some fun, Captain...can I call you Jean-Luc?"

I indicate to Worf, who is nearby with his security officers.

"Mr Worf, will you escort our guest back to the transporter room and beam her back to Starbase 12 where she came from. See that her report 'goes' in the usual way."

"I understand what you mean, sir" replies Worf, and smiles as his security team support Veronica who staggers out singing 'Dont Dilly Dally On The Way."

We like to see that our guests have a good time!


Ciera said...

Good one! many officials do you "transport" off ship like this in, oh, say a years time? This is what, the second one in about a week?


Jen said...

How funny!

Pieces said...

LOL...Thanks for the frequent visits lately!! You are such a sweetie!! TTYL

Chris W. said...

Hmph... bureaucrats! Can't live with 'em, can't blow them out of a torpedo tube. You did the right thing showing the stuffy gal a good time. Can I come aboard?

BTW, not to be nitpicky, but it's "fraternization" with a "z" not a "s". I still like your writing!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Very interesting, Chris. I was also thinking that she should get some personal time with a torpedo tube.

Oh, and I do believe the Captain is using the English spelling, you know bonnet and to the lou and all.

Professor Xavier said...

He does that all the time with his English spelling. It's like they think they invented the language or something.

-xtessa- said...

the captain is a shrewd one!!! anything to keep the good times rollin'!

Trinity13 said...

Hmmmm, I'll have to try that Klingon Bloodwine sometime! Heehee!!!

MarkD60 said...

Handled like a true fleet sailor!

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Well handled Captain! You should have also called ahead so her commanding officer could have been there to meet her at the transporter :)


Many people go to your ship maybe because it is recommendable.When you soar like an eagle, you attract hunters.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Because we are the flagship, Starfleet are always sending people to look at it.

Chris, Jon is right. I use, the English spelling of 'fraternisation' as that is where I am based.

Maybe I should market that bloodwine somewhere.

Vampirella said...

lol well capt you know how to handel all situations dont you

btw next time you visit my mansion bring some of that blood wine :P

margalit said...

That Veronica sounds like a real sourpuss.

Michele sent me

Jabafatboy said...

So, What is Veronicas secret !!

Jaime H. said...


Thanks for leaving the comment on my blog, sir!

Son Goku said...

Veronica is like me when I get drunk, oh yeah what is fratner.. frat that word?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Vampirella with Klingon Bloodwine? That's a powerful combination!

Chris W. said...

re: English spelling of "Fraternisation",

Oops! My bad... thanks for pointing out my error. I'll do more research next time. *grins sheepishly*

If I can still come aboard, make sure to ask Guinan if she can keep a good stock of Guinness. I'm sure bloodwine is good and all, but...

M. C. Pearson said...

Oh man. That was hilarious. Deanna is quite the operator, isn't she?

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