The Cap has been acting very weird today.
Yes, I know he's a little on the eccentric side, but he was even more so now.
Has he been having too many of those pills Beverly has been giving him.
When he disembarked from the shuttle, the first think he did was a ridiculous salute; he clenched his fist to the chest and held his arm out.
The Cap then looked at my face in puzzlement.
"Riker, we have to go and obliterate a peaceful planet; let's do it."
So here we are, now on the Bridge; I notice that the Cap has a tattoo on the back of his head; it shows a planet with a dagger through it. Not exactly tasteful. He must have had it done while drinking a few Bajoran Brandies.
The Cap looks at the wall and then talks to Worf.
"What has happened to the Empire symbol? Don't you know removing it is punishable by death?"
Worf looks at me in bewilderment.
"Are you working for Riker, now, Worf? If you are, I'll have you killed."
"Sir, I am loyal to you.."
"Good, now Riker, set a course for the Palarus System. I have had news from the Empire that we are to destroy the people on the fourth planet as they are not paying their taxes."
He sees Deanna.
"You're a sly one aren't you? Don't think of trying to kill me on behalf of Riker. Just because you're the First Officer's Woman, it doesn't mean you will find that any easier.
Deanna chokes on the chocolate cake she was eating.
Beverly comes in; he look at her.
"Why are you dressed like that?" You'll never retain your post as Captain's Woman if you wear those sort of clothes. He kisses Beverly, slaps her on the bottom and leaves the Bridge.
Beverly blushes, but has a slight smile.
"What has happened to the Captain, sir?" asks Worf.
"Err...I'm not sure, Worf."
"That is not our Captain, sir" says Data., "I analysed him while he was he and found he has a different biological signature to anyone else here. He is from a different universe."
"In that case, Worf, have your security teams pick him up and put him in the brig until we know how to change them round."
"Howw is OUR Captain getting on?" wonders Deanna.
Neurotic as he is, I can't see the Cap lasting a while; about as long as a Romulan in a Klingon bar on a rough Saturday night..