There is a part of the Enterprise that few people know about; many members would deny it even exists.
Down near the very depths of the ship, where no one goes, is the office.
It is said that sad, lonely souls, with no future, inhabit this area.
To fulfil my role as Captain, today I'm going to visit the office unannounced. It's the one place on the Enterprise I've never seen, so let's see it.
The door eventually opens and I walk into a wall of smoke. People are sitting at their desks; all have a persistant cough.
They walk around silently with their heads down, their faces despaired.
The smoke comes Cyrelian tobacco, which all staff in the office smoke as a result of trying to fend off the boredom. and intense stress.
In each section, workmates are trying to gain favour by doing errands for the boss who just reads, with their feet up.
Over at the copier room, an ancient 20th century photocopier coughs away, spewing letters with a stain. the level of radiation coming from it is 100 times permitted levels.
The Stationary Supplies Room door opens; a man and woman emerge, adjust their clothing, have a slight giggle and return to their desks.
I go over to one Departmental Head.
"Who are you?" he asks, then coughs.
"I'm the Captain of the Enterprise!" I say in amazement, "Don't you know me?"
"Never had reason to. cough, No one tells us anything down here. We just got put on here when the Enterprise was built, moved the equipment on, and that's the last we heard of anybody."
"Where was the equipment before?" I ask.
"Different starships. Cough. It was once on Captain Kirk's ship."
"Just how far back does this 'equipment moving' go?"
He thinks for a while, coughs and says, "Err...it must be around 1982."
"This all needs to be cleaned out and new equipment put in, so that you can work in a better environment." I dec;lare.
The Departmental Head looks shocked.
"Please don't do that, Captain, I beg of you. Cough. We are happy here, and would never get used to 24th Century technology. Let us stay the way we are."
I reluctantly agree and make my way out.
That's one part of the ship I don't want to see again. It can remain hidden from the world.
As I walk out of the door, I hear coughing behind me, and walk out again into pure air.