Wednesday, July 20, 2005

A Day At The Office

There is a part of the Enterprise that few people know about; many members would deny it even exists.

Down near the very depths of the ship, where no one goes, is the office.

It is said that sad, lonely souls, with no future, inhabit this area.

To fulfil my role as Captain, today I'm going to visit the office unannounced. It's the one place on the Enterprise I've never seen, so let's see it.

The door eventually opens and I walk into a wall of smoke. People are sitting at their desks; all have a persistant cough.

They walk around silently with their heads down, their faces despaired.

The smoke comes Cyrelian tobacco, which all staff in the office smoke as a result of trying to fend off the boredom. and intense stress.

In each section, workmates are trying to gain favour by doing errands for the boss who just reads, with their feet up.

Over at the copier room, an ancient 20th century photocopier coughs away, spewing letters with a stain. the level of radiation coming from it is 100 times permitted levels.

The Stationary Supplies Room door opens; a man and woman emerge, adjust their clothing, have a slight giggle and return to their desks.

I go over to one Departmental Head.

"Who are you?" he asks, then coughs.

"I'm the Captain of the Enterprise!" I say in amazement, "Don't you know me?"

"Never had reason to. cough, No one tells us anything down here. We just got put on here when the Enterprise was built, moved the equipment on, and that's the last we heard of anybody."

"Where was the equipment before?" I ask.

"Different starships. Cough. It was once on Captain Kirk's ship."

"Just how far back does this 'equipment moving' go?"

He thinks for a while, coughs and says, "Err...it must be around 1982."

"This all needs to be cleaned out and new equipment put in, so that you can work in a better environment." I dec;lare.

The Departmental Head looks shocked.

"Please don't do that, Captain, I beg of you. Cough. We are happy here, and would never get used to 24th Century technology. Let us stay the way we are."

I reluctantly agree and make my way out.

That's one part of the ship I don't want to see again. It can remain hidden from the world.

As I walk out of the door, I hear coughing behind me, and walk out again into pure air.

13 comments:

Free to Be said...

So are you saying those weren't the good ole days? ::cough:: ::cough::

True Jersey Girl said...

Sounds like the place I used to work (cough).

dddragon said...

Those poor souls could use a good trip to the Holodeck.

Robin said...

Haha!

cyouincourt007 said...

Captains Log Stardate423863.298

I'd say I second the holodeck idea if not maybe for the prime directive....unless u design one theyll feel right at home in...

We lost Scotty today,definitely a sad day for us all but still a fine day to recall all the wonderfull people of the enterprise....he is sorely missed..

Nic said...

HAHAHAHA! It's been a rough day here in my office. Several out of state people in-house today for different presentations, etc. I'm pooped. This gave me a great laugh. Just what I needed at the end of this day. Thanks Capt. Picard!

xtessa said...

(sob) can't comment right now... poor Scotty... (sob)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

It sounds like the carona wire needs to be cleaned on the copier.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

ooops, sorry, that was me up there.
some people just hate change.
rip scotty

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Free, I think many here live in that office.

Jersey, it could have been your office.

Dddragon, the only holodeck they'd like is one that was a typical 20th century one.

Nic, glad to cheer you up.

Better Safe, I'm one who dislikes change.

And to everybody, James (Scotty) Doohan was a fine actor. It has been confirned his ashes will be sent up into space.

Anonymous said...

Talk about not liking change...I think I saw a familiar face hiding among those poor souls.... seemed like McCoy to me, though I can't be sure, it was so smokey!! cough cough

RenaSherwood said...

I'm frightened now.