Following last week's message, I am pleased to tell you how well we have done since then.
Two people have already volunteered to hand out pamphlets that will be headed 'Be A Borg Today' You'll be able to spot them with their trendy badges that say 'It's Cool To Be Assimilated.'
We've also had a couple asking about the 'Customised Numbers' program. 'Seven of Nine' appears to be very popular. Naturally, we can only take one of these designations in each Cube. Hurry now, before all vacancies are taken!
Naturally, there were one or two dissenting voices to my last message, but we won't we hearing from them again. I sent a couple of drones to pay them a visit. They soon changed their minds and are now enjoying a happy life on my own Borg Cube.
What I'm really excited to tell you is the launch of our Weekend Seminar!
We are inviting you to come and spend the weekend in one of our Cubes. You can bring the whole family, as there is a playgroup and bouncy castle for the children to play in while the parents talk to our representatives.
During the weekend, you'll get to know just how a Cube operates; you'll go round the entire Cube, including our Assimilation Chamber...we'll make sure you don't miss that!
It'll be a weekend you won't forget!
We had an enquiry about medical plans as a Borg. Rest assured, you pay absolutely nothing; all parts are replaced free should you suffer any injuries.
You will have your own regeneration chamber supplied completely free. When you talk to our representative, we'll show you a map of a Cube, and let YOU decide where you'd like your chamber to go!
Who else would do this?
When it comes to the time to go home after the Seminar, we'll be looking after you.
No need to worry about going back at all!
So tell you friends and family; bring them all along to the Seminar.
We're all one big happy family here.