Monday, July 25, 2005

Borg Weekend Seminar

.

Hello again.

Following last week's message, I am pleased to tell you how well we have done since then.

Two people have already volunteered to hand out pamphlets that will be headed 'Be A Borg Today' You'll be able to spot them with their trendy badges that say 'It's Cool To Be Assimilated.'

We've also had a couple asking about the 'Customised Numbers' program. 'Seven of Nine' appears to be very popular. Naturally, we can only take one of these designations in each Cube. Hurry now, before all vacancies are taken!

Naturally, there were one or two dissenting voices to my last message, but we won't we hearing from them again. I sent a couple of drones to pay them a visit. They soon changed their minds and are now enjoying a happy life on my own Borg Cube.

What I'm really excited to tell you is the launch of our Weekend Seminar!

We are inviting you to come and spend the weekend in one of our Cubes. You can bring the whole family, as there is a playgroup and bouncy castle for the children to play in while the parents talk to our representatives.

During the weekend, you'll get to know just how a Cube operates; you'll go round the entire Cube, including our Assimilation Chamber...we'll make sure you don't miss that!

It'll be a weekend you won't forget!

We had an enquiry about medical plans as a Borg. Rest assured, you pay absolutely nothing; all parts are replaced free should you suffer any injuries.

You will have your own regeneration chamber supplied completely free. When you talk to our representative, we'll show you a map of a Cube, and let YOU decide where you'd like your chamber to go!

Who else would do this?

When it comes to the time to go home after the Seminar, we'll be looking after you.

No need to worry about going back at all!

So tell you friends and family; bring them all along to the Seminar.

We're all one big happy family here.

38 comments:

Free to Be said...

Hmmm you make it sound so good. But I've heard that if it's sounds too good to be true, then watch out.

Anonymous said...

That's crazy! LOL. How do I know the cube is not a giant sugar cube that will be put in scalding tea?

Trinity13 said...

Been there, done that...and escaped! But I do know someone by the name of Cypher who is looking to get back into the program/system.

True Jersey Girl said...

Can I assume I am one of the pamphlet-hander-outers?

Anonymous said...

i was all set for it until i saw the part about bringing the family, cuz i'm looking for a weekend getaway with the family

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Are the Borg getting desperate? It's like they're selling timeshares or something.

xtessa said...

LOL! this is just getting creepier and creepier! ehehehee...

now, if you can make me look like Seven of Nine post-borg, then i'd be "a bit" interested.;)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, I just don't look good in wires and machinery.

But thanks anyway!

(I've linked to your site. LOVE J.L. Picard! *sigh*)

Jamie said...

I was thinking I might want my regenerations chamber to have a nice view of the stars, but then I figured if species 8472 might kill me off quickly, so I wish mine to be a more central location, ok? Even borg, I want to survive!

The Borg Queen said...

Free, are you after my job?

Mrs Mogul, if you hear anyone say "one lump or two?", then you're in the wrong cube.

Trinity, we'd always like you back...

Jersey, here's a hint; there are the pamphlets; get handing them out.

Better Safe, we can put you in separate Cubes if you wish.

Jon, many would rather go to a Borg Seminar than a timeshare seminar.

Xtessa, we can make you look like Seven Of Nine....BEFORE she came on Voyager.

Stationery Queen, it is rather difficult to turn down an offer from us.

R.A. Slater said...

I think I have plans that weekend. U know, undercover stuff to help bring certain enemy species to their knees. Maybe I'll see you in passing.

Free to Be said...

Why, is it open?

Just checking.

Anonymous said...

i don't know about separate cubes, cuz they find me even when i hide in the bathroom

Natsthename said...

Isn't resistance futile?

Michele sent me...pleased to meet you, oh hunkiest of Starfleet commanders EVER!

Heather said...

Congratulations on being Michele's site of the day, Picard! She sent me this time but you know I visit you often on my own!

Raehan said...

I am so clueless on Star Trek, other than the fact that I once had a crush on a Captain Kirk doll.

Michele Sent Me! Congratualtions.

Lurid said...

Here from Michele's, but I've visited before. Great site. You make assimilation sound so tempting...a free regeneration chamber, you say?

Anonymous said...

good afternoon captain, and Hello, Michelle sent me. While reading your post I am imagining your voice and wishing I had a cup of earl grey, hot. :)

christina said...

Hello, Michele sent me! I think I need to spend a couple hours exploring your blog. Very spacey!

guppyman said...

Hmmmm... You must have gotten to Michele.... She sends me here, then you try to assimilate me.... I see how it is!

Ally said...

Hello! I am ready to be assimilated - Michele sent me over on purpose :).

Kitty said...

Y'know I think I'm washing my hair that weekend.

Michele sent me :)

Kimberly said...

You know I can't deal with that hair style;-)

Happy Michele Sent Me Day:-) Hooray!!

Catherine Detweiler said...

Michele sent me. And you know how it is with Michele--resistance is futile.

As a Trekkie (no, not a "Trekker"), I'll have to look around a little here!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Michele sent me! (But I've been here before you sexy bald-headed Starfleet Captain, you!)

Unknown said...

you are a riot Jean-Luc

Michelle said...

woo-hoo, you're Michele's site of the day!!! of course, I come here every day anyway but right now...I'm here via Michele.

Shannin said...

Hi, Michele sent me. Interesting blog. I will have to explore a little further...

Sarie said...

Hello Michele sent me this time!

Anonymous said...

Jean Luc, can I share your cube with you?

hi, Michele sent me ;-)

Anonymous said...

Here from Michele's today...

I'll only come if there's a t-shirt that says "Borg is the New Black"

Have a great day!

paula said...

Hello Captain, Michele sent me.

I gave at the office.

trusty getto said...

Yo, Hichelle sent me.

I been here before. I'm still interested in the probationary plan, if it's still available. ;)

Free to Be said...

Well now, this is getting embarrassing. I've posted three times on this post.

I'm here from Michele's this time. Congrats on being the site of the day.

True Jersey Girl said...

Hey there, Cap'n - here from Michele's this time to say congrats on being the site of the day! Enjoy your moment in the sun!!!

Nettie said...

Michele sent me, hope you're enjoying all the comments!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Wow! Lucky me to be the site of the day!

Thank you for all in responding with your messages.

Good wishes to all.

RenaSherwood said...

Did we ever find out if the Borg have dental & 401K? I think Yoda asked that a while back.