I've been invited to give my thoughts at a parole hearing.
Some time ago, a machine turned me into a criminal, and I formed my own crime syndicate. They were all arrested when the unit was reversed and put me right.I believe it's far too early, and need to put my reasons.
I sit outside the courtroom, until the officer calls "Captain Jean-Luc Picard!"
At this, I walk into the large court. I feel I am in a zoo, and I'm the chief exhibit that all the crowds have come to see. The judge asks me to stand in the witness box. It's then I hear a familiar sound.
It is Toots,the woman who was my 'moll' when I was a criminal.
"Hi Johnny." she continues, "When I get out of the slammer, maybe we can hook up again sometime?"
"The defendant will remain quiet." orders the judge.
"I know." Toots replies, "Shut my yap."
"Now." continued the judge, "We are here to determine whether this young lady and these men.
The judge indicated the other two members of my gang, both of whom looked like reprobates.
"Do you think they should be released, Captain Picard?" the judge enquired.
"They led a life of crime, at one stage, as I did, due to an unfortunate accident." I tell him, "But it is how they have behaved since that is important. I have had prison reports that confirm that the males run their own protection racket whilst in jail."
"Hey, a guy's gotta make a living." says Lefty, "Even when he's in the big house."
"What about the woman known as 'Toots?'" asks the judge.
"While it may seem that she has a spotless prison record, "Further investigation has shown she has been calling herself 'Madame Felice." and running an err...'escort service' from the prison."
"Madame Felice?" asks the judge, reddening.
"That's right." Toots admits, looking at the judge, "I thought I recognised you, Mr Brown."
"Those two can be put in prison." the judge hurriedly says, "I think it's time the woman was released."
"See you next week, Mr Brown." Toots says to the judge, then looks at me, "Godo to see you Johnny. If you want to start the gang up again, let me know, I'm your gal!"