All of the Enterprise crew haven't been able to sleep for days!
Even Data is experiencing something akin to tiredness though he cannot sleep, and Seven of Nine cannot regenerate properly in her alcove.
Nothing can be found to explain the bug that is preventing us sleep. Bev is currently giving out matchsticks so that we can stay focused on events. The Enterprise is speeding towards the nearest Starbase, but as we were in deep space, it'll take a while to get there.
"Fortunately we can put the ship on autopilot, Number One." I tell Riker, "But I'm still here, barely able to figure out anything. I just want to sleep for hours."
"So do I, sir," he replies, "I really want to go to dreamland, but nothing will make me."
Crew members around are staggering as if they have just been turned out of the local bar, and their eyes are bloodshot as if they are vampires who have had their nightly feed. I dread to think what I look like.
I go to get up, but promptly fall on the floor. Riker goes to pick me up, but he does the same.
"I think I'll stay here." I mumble, "It seems a lot easier than getting up."
"I know what you, mean, sir." he replies.
While I am there, I get the sense that some people are beaming on to the Bridge, but am too far away near dreamland to bother.
"The scanner we swept over the ship had the desired effect." says one of the Ferengi, "It even managed to work on the android. Now as it wears off, they will sleep and we will be able to salvage the ship and make masses of profit!"
The other two Ferengi look gleeful at this word.
"Profit!" says one, "You are truly clever, Benk."
"Indeed I am." says Benk, "Which is why I will get 70% and you will get 15% each of the profit."
I sink further and further into sleepiness. Riker has already gone, and I hear him snoring next to me.
"Not so fast." I hear Data's voice in the distance, as he talks to the Ferengi, "You are under imprisonment and I shall take you to the brig."
I sink into a pleasant, much needed sleep on the floor of the Bridge, but wake up a few hours later to find Data controlling the ship.
"What happened, Data?" I ask.
"As the effects of the scanner rays wore off, Captain." he answers, "My program immediately corrected itself and all manner of sleep was eliminated. The Ferengi forgot this would happen."
"Very good, Data." I say, as I stagger off the Bridge, "But right now, I have a long overdue appointment with my pillow."