Thursday, December 18, 2008

No Christmas This Year

"Who is coming aboard, Captain?" Data asks me, as we stand in the Transporter Room.

"It's someone newly promoted, an Admiral Simon Crooge." I reply. I've never met him.

The transporter flashes and an odd looking man appears.



"Err..Admiral Crooge?" I ask, not sure if this is the man.

"Yes, yes." replies, "My Admiral's outfit has been sent to the cleaners, and I've had to come in this casual outfit. Please excuse me."

"That's allright." I tell him, "Happy Christmas."

The Admiral looks alarmed, as if I have just done something unforgiveable.

"Humbug!" he snorts, "Christmas is for those making a pretty penny out of us all. I have recommended to the Federation President that Christmas be cancelled this year."

Riker listens and says, "You can't do that, Admiral!"

"Oh, can't I, Commander?" Crooge tells him defiantly, "Just you wait and see. I'm sending a directive that Christmas will not be celebrated on any starship or Federation planet. Instead, the day will be declared December Holiday. Happy December Holiday to you."

We all walk through the corridors, with Deanna and Bev joining as as we walk. Suddenly, we see an off-duty couple kissing with a mistletoe.




"How sweet." Deanna says, "It really brings Chrstmas to the ship."


"Humbug!" Admiral Crooge shouts, and walks over to the couple, breaking them up, and telling that mistletoe will not be used from now on and Christmas is cancelled. The girl runs off in tears.


"This directive could upset a lot of people, Admiral." I warn him.


"Nonsense, Picard." he replies, "They still get December Holiday. What more do they want?"


We get to the Bridge, where Data tells us the there is an urgent message from Starfleet Headquarters from the Federation President. It is for Admiral Crooge."


The face of our President comes on the screen. He is not happy.


"What the devil do you think you're playing at, Crooge?" he shouts, "You can't go around cancelling Christmas. All the Federation planets celebrate it."


"Err...I don't happen to like it, sir." Crooge says in a grovelling tone.


"Well you can come to Starfleet Headquarters and work all day here" the President answers, "You'll be the only one here, as I, and all the others will be away for Christmas."


"Err...yes sir." Crooge mumbles.


"And Crooge..." the President adds, "Happy Christmas."


We lead the Admiral back to the transporter room. On the way, we meet Ensign Britney, who is eating a bag of sweets."


"Do you want a sweet, Admiral?" she asks.


"What are they?"


"Humbugs."

13 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...

This guy got promoted over you, Captain?

Well, I suppose that's what comes of you going around holding hands with the Borg Queen and blowing up Cyclons against Star Fleet orders....

Or is it just all political?

The Curmudgeon said...

Cylons.

Whatever.

By the way, do humbugs taste anything like crow?

Gordon said...

Curmudgeon - no they are minty if memory serves me correctly.

Oh and captain could you not have arranged an "accident" to be fall the admiral? I'm sure the President wouldn't have minded one bit..

Past Expiry said...

Hey, check out my Picard cartoon....

Just posted today!

http://pastexpiry.blogspot.com/2008/12/cartoon-piccard-advertising.html

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Mmmm Mistletoe :)

Linda said...

Glad to see that Crooge's directive was squashed and that Christmas will gone on as usual! Humbug indeed!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Gordon is right...humbugs are an English minty sweet.

Types like Crooge need to be shown the nearest airlock!

Monica Hamburg said...

Hi "Jean-Luc"! You run a tight ship (har!) Oh & Netchick sent me.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Sorry Capatin, but I'm afraid that you've been infected:

Here,

Jaime said...

Don't know if you heard, Captain, but...

http://www.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_11263728?nclick_check=1

Vegeta said...

Bah! Back to shopping then.

Bob-kat said...

Glad to see teh Christmas spirit on the Enterprise managed to overwhelm Admiral S. Crooge.

Netchick sent me to say hi.

Tanya (aka NetChick) said...

Heya JLP! Thought I'd trot down to these here digs to say hi... Love the Mistletoe! Walking around with it in one's ear is the only way to go!

Thanks for playing the meet n' greet! It's great to see ya!

Have an awesome Saturday! I sent myself by!