Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Four)

By now, Lieutenant Worf was under the table as a result of him drinking all that Klingon Bloodwine.

I ask Commander Data what the latest Security situation is. His girlfriend Jennifer Baxter seems somewhat annoyed that I'd interrupted him just as they were going to do a romantic slow dance.

"As far as I know, Captain." he replies, "There was an altercation between some ninja warriors and Amazons that came with Queen Diana. The groups are being kept in different brigs for now until the end of the Party. Lieutenant Worf did his best to avoid any violence, although he was not in good condition."

"Indeed." I say, raising an eyebrow and seeing Lieutenant Worf under the drinking table, holding on to a bottle.

"Captain." Riker tells me, "More guests are arriving."

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Epiphany walks in...

I can’t tell you my dismay when Ensign Britney asked me to accompany her to the Enterprise Christmas party this year. I mean, sure she’s my cousin, but we couldn’t be more different.

I work in a more administrative capacity on the Enterprise. Behind the scenes. Truth be told, I like it that way. I’m much more reserved than Britney, and don’t even get me started on when she and T’Pol get together. Embarrassment galore for yours truly.

It’s now 45 minutes past the time Britney said she’d pick me up. Ah, there’s the knock. Well, lovely. It’s apparent she has tipped more than a few back in anticipation of the night’s festivities. She is adorned in her usual “Santa’s Helper” outfit that would be better suited for an episode of The Girls Next Door. Did I mention she has a little piece of mistletoe affixed to the front of her Santa hat? Figures.



We’re off to the party. Britney is weaving left and right, and hooting and hollering like she’s at a rodeo. I just want to slink back to my quarters, but it’s too late as the Captain has seen us.

“Well, look at you, Ensign Britney. Appropriate attire as usual, I see.” the Captain says.
“And you, Epiphany. Thank you for coming. You usually sit these things out.”

“Yes sir” I reply “you’re right. I thought I’d live a little this year, what with the appearance of the Borg Queen and all.”

The Captain smiles, and continues to receive the guests.

Britney and I make our way toward the bar. The Strolling Drones are doing there level best to keep the energy upbeat, but most of the partygoers are seated and looking around at each other like deer in the headlights. Ah well, the evening has just begun. I’m sure it will pick up once…

“Hey, y’all!! What do you think this is, a funeral?!” Ensign Britney exclaims as she launches herself onto the bar and starts dancing. “It’s Christmas! Time to get crazy!”

She is immediately joined by T’Pol, and my worst nightmare is again realized by the re-formation of the Degradation Duo. Ugh! I can only imagine where this night will lead. Why didn’t I just stay in my quarters?

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Rashbre has just appeared...


Rashbre and Britney's hopper was slipstreaming past a spectacularly long Romulan freighter. There was so much additional gravity from the mass of the other vessel that we flipped the G down two whole notches.

"Its one of those S-ANTA Specials", commented Britney, "The elvenfolk have a peak in their output at this time of year."

Rashbre nodded, centering the nav on a distant spec. "I can locate the Pole - we can make it in a single jump, but we need to be careful about nose-cone overheating."

A hop later and the craft was slowing down for docking, in a low orbit tractored to the Enterprise.

Rashbre contacted the holodeck. "You are still red", came the response. "You'll need to stay in orbit another few minutes until the nose stops glowing red."

"Thats great", said Britney,"I can get ready for the party. I want to take a couple of things off before we go inside - those parties are always so hot!"

Ten minutes later they stood in the Enterprise's VIP elevator, which someone had sprayed with permafrost. " I wasn't expecting this", tittered Britney, through chattering teeth. and suddenly they could hear "Get off my cloud" belting from the sound system. The Strolling Drones were rocking and everyone was dancing.

"The cloud must be a dense material such as titanium in a gravitational orbit", Data was saying to a small group gathered around, "It certainly can't be water based".



The others nodded, but Lwaxana was mouthing something to Craziequeen. "Nice brownies", she said, "Yes I added some schrooms", replied CQ giggling. "Its a re-enactment of an old recipe - it usually creates a few side effects!".

The dancefloor was spectacular; the Borg had used semigrav flooring. People skittered around in the mid air, whilst every few minutes a part of the dance floor received blasts of flexifoam, the brilliant foam which could be removed entirely by stepping back into a green light.

Bob-kat, Panthergirl and Florence were in some kind of floatation formation in mid air and Riker was in the middle of the group, spinning slowly in the low grav. "See how we can drink upside down", called Florence and Rashbre smiled across.

"Mine's the usual", Rashbre called to the Borg barman.

"You got it", came the reply, "You are always off piste, so that'll be an Intergalactic Garglebaster!"

Rashbre looked around - it was Captain Picard smiling, outstretched arms in greeting - "Great to see you after all this time", called Rashbre, "You too" came JLP's reply.

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Emerging from a telephone box in the corner is Superman

At first I didn't want to go to Captain Picard's Christmas party. But Lois talked me into it. With the citizens of Kandor, they can take care of Metropolis since they are now full sized. Besides Conner, and Kara wanted to go While Kara has been acting more normal, Conner...well I wouldn't want him to be the only one there to represent the Kryptonians of the 21 st century.

And it'll be a good way to get Ma off of The Kent Farm with all of the memories of Pa there. After being transported through time, and space well I wasn't expecting a drab dark overly sanitized high tech environment.

The Captain explained about the Borg Queen attending the party. This should be interesting, although I haven't ran into many all that many cybernetic beings that have been benevolent. Like Brainac, and Cyborg Superman.

Just as soon as I am about to take Lois to the dance floor, I'm swamped by by aliens who want to think me for saving there planets in my time or just wanting my autograph.

I take time to sign autographs, and speak with all of the aliens. " This is embarassing" I whisper to Lois.

“Yeah right you know you love it. "I roll my eyes when Cassandra Cain's future son Bruce causes a ruckus. You know I always thought Batgirl was a good match for Conner, plus it annoyed Batman so that was a bonus.

Although Vincent is a good kid from what I've seen of him, it does annoy Ma that Vegeta uses this as another reason why he thinks Saiyans are better than Kryptonians.

Anyway, after that little battle was over, some kid named Wesley. caused an explosion. No one was hurt since I stopped the fire with my super breath. But the anti-matter creature the explosion caused was released.

We finally stopped that by luring it into the engines. After that was over, The party restarted, and I had the chance to dance with Lois. Soon it was time for us to go back.

I found Kara With a green boy from the planet Orion he gave her his number. Hmmm Supergirl dating a green boy from the future why am I getting Deja Vu here?

I found Ma telling embarrassing stories about me as a baby. To the bartender Guinan. Sigh. Now to find Conner. I find him dancing on the tables and Great Krypton... he's nude!

“Woo! This synthahol is awesome!"

I almost didn't have the heart to tell him that synthetic alcohol does not make you drunk. I apologize to Captain Picard.

“Don’t worry we all know of Superman Secoundus' mischievous streak."

I’m transported back to my time before I could ask "who?"

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More Guests on the Final Party Day tomorrow!