It seems all I do is play diplomat nowadays.
I'd rather be zapping a few aliens who are invading, but that's not the Starfleet way. Captain Kirk in the 23rd Century used to have the 'shoot first, ask questions later' approach. It was deemed far to archaic. He'd be put in the brig nowadays for that, and for his approach to women.
They'd sue him for harassment for one thing. The red shirts would, if there were any alive, as they always got sent on the risky missions.
Still, I digress.
It's First Contact time, and we've been alerted that a new race, the Saveneans, have recent achieved warp drive status. It means we can announce ourselves, and invite them to the Federation.
Myself, Riker and Deanna are beaming down to Savenia.
We find ourselves in the city square. People look around and I get ready for the speech.
"Greetings, citizens of Savenia." I start, "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise. I am welcom..."
"ALIENS!!" shouts one citizen, "Sound the alarm!"
"But, sir." Deanna tries to say, as everybody runs in different directions.
Suddenly, a deafening warning siren is played out all over the city.
"I think they've been expecting us." Riker comments drily, "I suggest we take our leave."
"Nonsense, Number One." I assure him, "Naturally, these people haven't seen an alien before and are just a little concerned. We just need to reassure them that we are friendly."
"That could be difficult, Captain." Deanna says, "The Saveneans seem highly sensitive to outside forces."
A group of figures dressed in black rush up to us. Experience would suggest this is not a welcoming party.
"Those are the invading aliens who plan to destroy our world and enslave our people." says one of the citizens."
"That's not true." I reply desperately, "We are from the United Federation of Planets, and we are offering you membership as you have attained warp drive status."
"So you admit you are aliens?" says the leader in black.
"Err...well, yes." I concede, "But we are not unfriendly."
"Take them away!" he orders, "We may be able to use them as hostages against the invading armies. Other than than we will destroy them as a warning to any other aliens."
Right now, I'm thinking whoever invented First Contact must have been out of their mind!
To be continued...
The answer to the Bonus Question on the TWQ was 'Last Of The Summer Wine'.
This is the 698th Post. Be sure to see the 700th on Thursday post (17:30 British time)