Sunday, October 05, 2008

First Contact (Part One)

It seems all I do is play diplomat nowadays.

I'd rather be zapping a few aliens who are invading, but that's not the Starfleet way. Captain Kirk in the 23rd Century used to have the 'shoot first, ask questions later' approach. It was deemed far to archaic. He'd be put in the brig nowadays for that, and for his approach to women.

They'd sue him for harassment for one thing. The red shirts would, if there were any alive, as they always got sent on the risky missions.

Still, I digress.

It's First Contact time, and we've been alerted that a new race, the Saveneans, have recent achieved warp drive status. It means we can announce ourselves, and invite them to the Federation.

Myself, Riker and Deanna are beaming down to Savenia.

We find ourselves in the city square. People look around and I get ready for the speech.

"Greetings, citizens of Savenia." I start, "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise. I am welcom..."

"ALIENS!!" shouts one citizen, "Sound the alarm!"

"But, sir." Deanna tries to say, as everybody runs in different directions.

Suddenly, a deafening warning siren is played out all over the city.

"I think they've been expecting us." Riker comments drily, "I suggest we take our leave."

"Nonsense, Number One." I assure him, "Naturally, these people haven't seen an alien before and are just a little concerned. We just need to reassure them that we are friendly."

"That could be difficult, Captain." Deanna says, "The Saveneans seem highly sensitive to outside forces."

A group of figures dressed in black rush up to us. Experience would suggest this is not a welcoming party.

"Those are the invading aliens who plan to destroy our world and enslave our people." says one of the citizens."

"That's not true." I reply desperately, "We are from the United Federation of Planets, and we are offering you membership as you have attained warp drive status."

"So you admit you are aliens?" says the leader in black.

"Err...well, yes." I concede, "But we are not unfriendly."

"Take them away!" he orders, "We may be able to use them as hostages against the invading armies. Other than than we will destroy them as a warning to any other aliens."

Right now, I'm thinking whoever invented First Contact must have been out of their mind!

To be continued...

Editor's Note:

The answer to the Bonus Question on the TWQ was 'Last Of The Summer Wine'.

This is the 698th Post. Be sure to see the 700th on Thursday post (17:30 British time)


Gordon said...

Hmm captain I'd love to help ya out but I'm clear across the other side of the sector and I just got my ship back from being fixed and lets just say my credit account is rather limited right now. I could just get the borg queen to come assimilate the whole planet but I like my head and ship in the shape they are in as we'll I kinda think she's still a little miffed at the interior designer thing.
I looked up on who wrote the rules of first contact, yeah he was declared mentally insane shortly afterward and "disappeared" but it was too late it was "passed" in the rulebook.
I'm sure they'll be nice to you maybe.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Ah, forget about diplomacy, just blow them into bits and pieces :)

Linda said...

I'm thinking you should act like Captain Kirk at this point and love 'em and leave 'em!

Michael Manning said...

Ah, you meant John Ritter films in England! That is tragic. But aboard the Enterprise are at least two women who could easily stand in for "Three's Company" with you, Captain, as Jack Tripper! Early Congratulations are in order for your upcoming 700th Post!!! Well done!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

May you should send out a call for Doctor Who?

The Curmudgeon said...

Clearly a memo should be sent to the supervisors of the observation teams that cleared this culture for First Contact. If you survive, you really should make this a priority.

Congratulations on the 700th post, too. Assuming, again, you survive....

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You all have some excellent suggestions, ranging from the Borg, Dr Who or Captain Kirk!

Titania Starlight said...

Sounds like they landed on Earth. I sure hope we do not act like this on First Contact. I truly welcome any lifeform that is smarter then the homo sapien.

I love Last of the Summer Wine. I watch it weekdays on our PBS channel. it is the ones in the later years after Compo died. I know Nora Batty misses him as well. :o)

Epiphany said...

Oh, the plot thickens! I can barely stand the suspense. Though I will say that you, Captain, maintain your composure extremely well under such stressful conditions.

Congrats on your upcoming 700th post!!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Quick Captain, use your wit and intuition to get yourself out of this jam.

And keep Riker quiet, he's likely to muck it all up.

Lahdeedah said...

I got an idea!

Just yell


oh wait....

Lahdeedah said...

.and when you say Last of the Summer Wine is still running, in re runs? Not new shows, correct?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Lahdeedah, I mean new shows are still being made of 'Summer Wine'.

Titania, I didn't think the show was seen in the US.