Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Captain's Portrait (Part Two)

At last, the day has come when the artist will beam on to paint my portrait!

A few days ago, Starfleet told me they had commissioned someone to paint me, as all the Captains are in the halls of the San Francisco Headquarters already have them.

It's a bit overdue, if you ask me.

James T Kirk has one, typically surrounded by two scantily-clad women.

For some reason, the crew keep thinking I'll be posing without any clothes on. I had to issue a ship-wide bulletin telling them I'll be in my official Captain's uniform.


Riker, Bev, Deanna and myself go to Transporter Room One to greet the artist. He beams on.

"Hello." I say, "I an Captain Jean-Luc Picard." I then go into the usual greetings spiel that I do for all the visitors.

"Ah!!" he exclaims, looking at me, "You are my subject! For you Captain, I shall create my masterpiece, the crowning point in my career! I am Guido. I can feel the pulse of creativity going through my veins."

I can sense that Bev and Deanna are trying hard to supress giggles. Riker has a smug grin on his face.

"Shall we go to the studio?" I ask, "I have created a holodeck program that looks like an artist's studio."

"Excellent!!" Guido replies, waving his arms, "My paints are eager to touch the canvas,"

I cough in order to keep a straight face.


The five of us arrive at the studio.

"This is magnifique!" Guido says in a pseudo-French accent. I think he adopts different accents as the mood takes him.

"Shall we get started, Guido?" I ask, "Where would you like me to sit?"

"Firstly," he says, "You need to remove your clothes."

It's too much for Bev, Riker and Deanna, who collapse in fits of laughter. Guido looks disgusted.

"Look, Guido." I tell him firmly, "I don't know why everybody seems to have this idea about clothes. I shall be painted in my official dress uniform."

"Very well." Guido replies, "If you wish it to be done that way."

"We'll leave you now, Jean-Luc" Bev says.

"Au revoir, Madame." Guido says to Bev, "Perhaps later I can paint you au naturel?"

"That's NOT going to happen!" I say firmly.

"That is too bad." Giudo comment, "The Betazed Ambassador found it very enjoyable."

Deanna chokes at this news.

"You mean you've painted MY mother without any....? she tries to say.

"Indeed, madamoiselle." he confirms, "Lwaxana Troi likes the result and has it on the wall."

"It had better not be there the next time I visit." she mutters.

With that, the three leave the studio, leaving just Guido and myself.

"Well, Captain." Guido says, looking at me, "It's time to start painting."

To be continued...


Scarlet said...

I love that Lwaxana Trois hung a painting of herself au naturel. You gotta love Lwaxana. ;)

PI said...

Something told me he was an artist:)

Ellee Seymour said...

You can't beat having a portrait painted, it means so much more than a photo. I hope you are well, captain.

Epiphany said...

Hee-hee! So the rumor mill reached funny. This should be a very interesting portrait. :)

pilgrimchick said...

I enjoy anything that involves the invocation of Lwaxanna Troi.

The Curmudgeon said...

I think you should give the artist the brush-off, Captain....

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Curmudgeon, that is a good answer. They are so tempramental!

Pilgrimchick, Scarlet, having that sort of painting is just what Lwaxana would do!

Linda said...

I would be more surprised to find out that Lwaxana Trois had her portrait painted WITH her clothes on than without!

Good luck with Guido - I think you're going to need it!

Gordon said...

Now remember Jean-luc you don't like the result, I hear airlock 5 is being temperamental, Mr La Forge or one of his team hasn't looked at it yet and accidents will happen...

swirly girl said...

lol..."James T Kirk has one, typically surrounded by two scantily-clad women."

how right you are..

Amanda said...

Oh No...Now I've got some imaginary image of Lwaxana's portrait in my head.

On a brighter note, I've awarded you with a "Superior Scribbler" award on my blog.

Vince Briefs said...

Hmmm. This guy seems a bit eccentric.

Bulma said...

something tells me Kirk went for the nude portrait

Nepharia said...

I bet Kirk only took his shirt off....

Lahdeedah said...

Come on...

he's GOTTA go nude...

Jean-Luc Picard said...

There seems to be some speculation as to what Kirk's portrait would look like. I'll leave it to you to think!

Amanda, apologies for giving you that image of Lwaxana. Thanks for the Supeerior Scribbler Award.

Anonymous said...







Anonymous said...

(法新社a倫敦二B十WE四日電) 「情色二零零七」情趣產品大產自二十三日起在色情影片倫敦的肯辛頓成人電影奧林匹亞展覽館成人影片舉行,倫敦人擺脫對性A片下載的保守態度踴躍參觀,許成人網站多穿皮衣與塑膠緊身衣的好色之徒擠進這項世界規模最大的成人生活展,估計三天展期可吸引八萬多好奇民眾參觀。






Anonymous said...