Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Captain's Portrait (Part One)

Right now, I'm in a conversation with Admiral Harriman over the video viewer in my Ready Room.

"So, Picard." he continues, "It has come to our attention that such a err... veteran Captain like yourself does not have his portrait in the Starfleet corridors"

"Indeed, sir." I say, feeling elated, "Are you going to have my portait painted?"

"Yes, Picard." I say, "We'll be sending someone along shortly. A proper artist, so make sure you look your best."

"Yes sir, yes, sir." I say in my most grovelly voice, "Where do you think the portrait will go?"

"Probably near the men's washroom." he replies, "We haven't got a lot of space left."

-----------

I leave the ready room. Bev is nearby.

"Guess what, Bev." I tell her, "Starfleet are coming here to paint my portrait."

She giggles.



"Are you going to keep your clothes on, Jean-Luc?" she says, laughing.

"Of course I am." I answer indignantly, "It's an official portrait to hang at Starfleet Headquarters."

I go over to the Bridge and inform Riker that he will have to take the helm while I have my portrait painted.

"Are you keeping your clothes on, Captain?" he asks.

What? Is this a conspiracy?

I get on the communication system that broadcasts to the entire ship.

"Attention all hands." I say, "I will be having my portrait painted shortly. Before you ask, yes, I WILL be keeping my clothes on!"

----------

A few hours later I get word that the painter is here. I rush to the Transporter Room to welcome him.


A figure beams on, carrying a can of paint and a brush.

"Which part of the ship needs painting, Captain? he asks.

I groan.

"It seems there has been a mix-up." I tell him.

Riker enters and informs me that the main bathroom needs painting, so he called for the painter.
"The artist who will be painting your picture won't arrive for another couple of days." Riker tells me.

I wonder who it will be?

This story continues after the TWQ...

10 comments:

Linda said...

Well how disappointing but at least there's a proper artist coming soon! Maybe you'll luck out and he'll have some blood ties to the long-dead Michaelangelo!

Gordon said...

Linda more than likely he'll know Sid...

The Curmudgeon said...

I wouldn't be surprised, Gordon, if the painter turned out to be Sid.

One thing, though.

Everyone asks whether you'll be keeping your clothes on.

Is this because Kirk posed for the first official Captain's portrait?

celadon2 said...

Back at last, I've had difficulty loading your blog, tribbles in the computer gubbins I bet!

As long as it's not Tracy Emin Jean-Luc you'll be fine :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Glad to know you've got back on, Celadon. No, I don't want Tracey Emin either.

Jaime said...

The clothes thing has me fascinated... what's the deal? And why is it that you're always the last to know about these things, Captain?

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