Sunday, June 29, 2008
Captain Beverly Causes A Problem (Part One)
Guest Poster: Captain Beverly Howard
I think I've hidden myself away for long enough, don't you think?
Here I am, stuck in this miserable universe where men are supposed to have an equal say with women. I was much better off when I was a Captain in the other female-dominated universe.
I can't imagine that the woman who is supposed to be me is a mere Doctor. Can anyone imagine me taking such a lowly post?
Still, while I've been at my secret basem, I've been gathering Intelligence about the activies of Starfleet, the Federation, the Enterprise and most of all, that awful Beverly Crusher, weakling that she is!
What fascinated me most of all is that Crusher's disaster-prone son Wesley is engaged to be married to an Amazonian named Karena.
Who would have thought it? As I'm in favour of anything that ensures the dominance of our sex, I should congratulate him. He'll soon buckle under her.
We can't have the Crusher family have a moment of happiness, though, so that's why I'm on the way to the planet Wondawowman for an unscheduled chat with Karena's mother.
Aren't I wicked?
I change into a casual outfit as my ship, the Dominatrix approaches Wondawowman. When asked, I tell them I am Beverly Crusher, and need to speak to Queen Diana urgently. I am given permission to land the ship.
"Beverly!" exclaims Diana when I disembark, "This is a pleasant surprise. Have you come to discuss the wedding arrangements concerning my daughter and Wesley?"
I put on my extremely sad face, although I am laughing inside.
"In a way." I say slowly, "I regret to inform your Majesty that my son has decided that he no longer wishes to to be engaged to Karena. He has fallen in love with an Orion Slave Girl and they are planning on setting up home together. Wes has told me, but not Karena. Here is the Slave Girl's picture."
Diana is incensed. She looks like she is about to explode.
"No man may break off an engagement with a member of our race!" the Queen says in fury, "I will allow you to leave as you have bought me this news. You may tell Starfleet that all diplomatic relations between the Federation and Wondawowman are ended. Karena will be ordered to return home!"
I board the Dominatrix and fly off. Mission accomplished!
I'm quite pleased with myself how that all went. Now I can go back to base and watch all the fun from my monitors as Beverly Crusher and Starfleet try to sort it all out!
To be continued...