Thursday, June 26, 2008

Aboard A Space Freighter (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

This is DEFINATELY not my idea of travelling back to the Enterprise!

When the Cappy, Will and Beverly came away from Earth after visiting Ascot, the rickety shuttlecraft Orion gave out, so we were picked up by this dreary freighter named the Trashkan. What a yukky ship it is!

The Captain of the freighter is this awful creature named Komba, and he is making us all work our passage on the route to our ship. I may well get one of my nails broken!

Will and the Cappy have been sent to clean the engine room, while Beverly and I are going to the kitchens.


"This kitchen looks filthy!" exclaims Beverly, "Hygiene has been disregarded."

"What's hygiene?" a laughing voice says from behind.

It's a Chameloid, and I can't be sure which sex it is. Not the sort of thing I can ask, really, is it?

"I'm Darva." it says, "I'm the head of this kitchen."

"Pleased to meet you." I reply, "Can you tell us where the replicators are?"

Darva laughs out loud.

"Do you really think we have any of those?" it answers, "We cook, plain and simple, in giant pots. There are 100 people on this crate, and you've got to make enough for all of them."

"Actually, Darva." I say, "I've never cooked anything in the past, and I'm sure my friend never has either."

"Well now is your chance to learn" Darva replies, "The ingredients are all there on the table, so get cooking."

"What are we making for the crew today, Darva?" asks Beverly.

"It's glop." answers Darva.


"I said glop." the Chameloid stresses, "You just throw it all in, cook it for two hours and serve it to those on the ship."

"Will they like it?" I enquire, "After all, it hardly looks very appetising."

"They'll eat anything here." Darva laughs, "If they don't, they go without."


In the evening, the crew are coming in for the dish Beverly and I have concocted. We've called it Glop Supreme. I see the Cappy and Will coming in, and indicate them to Beverly.

The two come over with their dishes so we can serve the glop to them.

"How are you managing, Jean-Luc?" Beverly asks to the Cappy.

"It's awful, Bev." he replies, "I must have blisters on my blisters, as the grease is two inches thick."

"How about you and Beverly?" Will asks me.

"Well, you'll find out." I answer, "When you eat this."


The next day, Captain Komba gathers the four of us together. The Cappy and Will both have stomach poisoning for some reason.

"You four have worked your passage." he tells us, "Your ship is within sight, and we've informed them you are here. We would have kept you on a little longer, but most of the crew are down with a stomach virus. These women are so bad at it, we want you off."

We help the Cappy and Will off the ship as they groan.

I hope they'll be pleased we got them off the ship!


The Real Mother Hen said...

Ha that sure sounds a lot like my cooking :)
Chameloid is evolution gone wrong.

The Curmudgeon said...

Bev did it on purpose... introducing a stomach virus into that time-tested recipe for glop.

Just ask her, Captain, I'm sure she'll admit it now you're safely back on the Enterprise....

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hmmm, interesting.

smiles, bee

swirly girl said...

Make everyone so sick that they don't want you around...clever. Very clever.

Kon-El said...

Think I'll skip the Glop Supreme.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

those aliens are scarier than anything on Doctor Who.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm not sure that Deanna & Bev cooked Glop Supreme to make people ill...I just think they can't cook!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Glop Supreme sounds way better than just Glop. Save me a bowl.

Michele sent me.

Ellee Seymour said...

I think Curmudgeon has got it in one. What a surprise...

Amanda said...

LOL! I knew they couldn't cook!

Jaime said...

LOL...poor Captain and crew! A little sickbay and holodeck time is in order.

Michael Manning said...

"What's hygiene?" Indeed! :D