Thursday, May 19, 2005

Holographic Doctor

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The Enterprise is being fitted with a new holographic doctor. They are now standard issue on all starships in case the actual doctor cannot be secured or is injured.

Beverley is feeling a little put out.

"I don't see why I should have to be supplemented by a hologram. My job is meant to be undertaken by a human.

I start to groan inwardly. Time to flatter her a little.

"Naturally, you are far better, Beverley, but the holographic doctor is there just in case something happens or there is an overload of injuries. He'll be there to help you; he has the knowledge of over 100 Starfleet doctors."

Beverley still looks a little sore as if I built the hologram. I guess she won't want to sit with me in Ten Forward for a few days.

"Let's switch him on." I say.

"Activate EMH"

The Emergency Medical Hologram appears. He is the image of his creator Dr Zimmerman, a balding man with dark hair on the sides.

"Please state the nature of your medical emergency." says the EMH.

"Sorry, I was just testing you out. There's nothing wrong." I say.

"Well don't do it again! Call me only when there is a real emergency and stop bothering me! I was created for complex medical decisions, not to be switched off and on again at your behest!"

"Switch off EMH" I say, and see Beverley grinning.

It looks like the bedside manner of the EMH needs to be worked on a little.

4 comments:

R.A. Slater said...

I'd like to switch him off........

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Especially if he starts singing opera.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Don't you think it's bit egotistical to base your holographic program on your own face? I don't think that even Bono is that conceted.

RenaSherwood said...

Jon, I bet Bono just read that and is now looking at his hologram and thinking "And what's wrong with my face?"

As long as he programs the voice as his, I won't mind.