The Enterprise stops for some R&R at Starbase 154. I am relaxing at the local bar when a pretty young Ensign I haven't seen before comes in. I walk on over.
"Hi Ensign, would you like to go out for a date tonight?"
"Get lost, pops."
"Don't be like that. I'm the Captain of that big starship out there; if you like, I could give you an exclusive tour. There's a great holodeck program which I'm sure you'll love. Call me Cappy."
"Take a hike; I don't date old men. I've already got a date tonight."
"Not with Riker is it? Don't get taken in with that smile he always uses."
"No, it's that delightful Lieutenant Commander Data."
I'm disgusted; beaten to the girl by something with a few more circuits than a toaster.