Today, I'm trying out my wig for the first time, It's brown, covers the top of the head, with sides that over the ears. I go to the Bridge.
"Take the Enterprise to the Virdana Colony, Warp Factor Six"
No one has said anything yet.
I sit in the Captain's chair. Riker is to my right. I can feel his eyes looking at the top of my head. He thinks I haven't noticed, and he gestures to Deanna Troi, who is sitting on my left. I sense his hand pointing to me and then to my head. Troi breaks into a fit of giggles.
"Anything wrong, Counselor?" I ask.
"Er, no, Captain. I'll need to talk to Commander Riker in your Ready Room. May I?"
"By all means."
The two of them swiftly walk into the Ready Room, Troi covering her mouth. A few seconds later, I can hear bursts of laughter in the distance. A little later they both come out, with red faces.
Worf has an idiotic grin on his face; an odd look for a Klingon.
Data looks at me with that puzzled look he uses when his circuits don't make sense to him.
"Captain, may I ask you a question?"
Here it comes.
"Why does a human want to wear a dead Tribble on the top of their head?"
I tell him that I was going to have it cremated later. Data happily takes it and goes off to get the wig cremated.
Why ever didn't Data ever have a Tact Mode fitted in?