This weekend, the flavour is very musical, as I ask:
What are your top ten all time favourite songs and by whom? Can you say why?
Here are my choices:
1: Hey Jude by The Beatles: Strictly the version sung by them in 1968, and not any pop concert covers. A great classic.
2: American Pie by Don McLean: Only the full 8 min 27 seconds version here. Have you worked out all the meanings? Do you know all the words? Easily the best to hum along with.
3: Whisky In The Jar by Thin Lizzy: Put the volume up high for this one. It's the best for all those who wanted to air guitar. Brilliant.
4: Summer Breeze by the Isley Brothers: The perfect summer record to play in the warm sunshine.
5: Dancing Queen by Abba: Their best record that gets me singing it long after. It was a pleasure to hear it in the stage show 'Mamma Mia!'.
6: San Francisco by Scott McKenzie: What can I say? A perfect record.
7: A Whiter Shade Of Pale by Procul Harum: Voted by many as the best record of the 1960's.
8: Something In The Air by Thunderclap Newman: A wonderful song; just right.
9: Something by The Beatles: A great song often imitated, never bettered.
10: Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler: This tearjerker from 'Beaches' is beautifully sung.
Now it's over to you....
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Dixon Hill (Part Two)
Beverly is hurriedly treated my wound with a 20th century plaster when the two gangsters burst in.
They look at the four people with me.
The greasy one eyes Beverly and Deanna appreciatively.
"I like your taste in broads, Hill." he says, "The brunette has some great pins, and that redhead is sumpin' else."
Both Beverly and Deanna look disgustedly at him, as if he is something they accidentally trod in.
The big man looks at Data.
"Hey, Rico, look at that weird guy. Have you ever seen anything like him?"
"Nah, Kelly. Hill, you've got an odd taste in friends."
"I am a Frenchman." Data states simply, as if that will solve all our problems.
"Oh yeah?" says Rico, "Well I guess there will be one less Frenchman in the US after tonight" he adds with a dirty laugh.
Rico turrns to me, "Well, Hill, I guess it's time to plug you, your pals and your broads."
As he is about to shoot, Data rushes up between us and a bullet bounces off him, causing no damage. He then grabs the guns and crushes them. Rico and Kelly look astonished.
"I guess you French guys are pretty tough." says Rico.
We call the police. The Captain arrives to take them away.
"How come you can land yourself in jams all the time, Hill." he says, "If I were you, I'd choose another profession."
After he takes them away, the holodeck program ends and just the room remains.
"What a relief!" says Beverly, "You can come to SickBay and be treated."
"Then I've got a girdle to get off!" adds Deanna, falling off her high heels.
They look at the four people with me.
The greasy one eyes Beverly and Deanna appreciatively.
"I like your taste in broads, Hill." he says, "The brunette has some great pins, and that redhead is sumpin' else."
Both Beverly and Deanna look disgustedly at him, as if he is something they accidentally trod in.
The big man looks at Data.
"Hey, Rico, look at that weird guy. Have you ever seen anything like him?"
"Nah, Kelly. Hill, you've got an odd taste in friends."
"I am a Frenchman." Data states simply, as if that will solve all our problems.
"Oh yeah?" says Rico, "Well I guess there will be one less Frenchman in the US after tonight" he adds with a dirty laugh.
Rico turrns to me, "Well, Hill, I guess it's time to plug you, your pals and your broads."
As he is about to shoot, Data rushes up between us and a bullet bounces off him, causing no damage. He then grabs the guns and crushes them. Rico and Kelly look astonished.
"I guess you French guys are pretty tough." says Rico.
We call the police. The Captain arrives to take them away.
"How come you can land yourself in jams all the time, Hill." he says, "If I were you, I'd choose another profession."
After he takes them away, the holodeck program ends and just the room remains.
"What a relief!" says Beverly, "You can come to SickBay and be treated."
"Then I've got a girdle to get off!" adds Deanna, falling off her high heels.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Dixon Hill (Part One)
When there is nothing happening on the Enterprise, and are just waiting to meet with another starship, what better to to than relax on the holodeck?
I'm setting up the program to be my favourite detective from the 1940's, Dixon Hill, and giving him a case to solve.
I've invited Data, Geordi La Forge, Beverly and Deanna along as well, while Riker and Worf look after ther ship.
We're all dressed up; I've got my trenchcoat, Data & Geordi looks like gangsters, and Beverly and Deanna look like a couple of molls in their fishnet stockings.
I enter my office with the others to see my secretary. She is a dozy blonde who is polishing her nails.
"Any calls for me, Lola?"
"Errr, no, Dixon...I mean Mr Hill." she says in a squeakily high voice. She then looks at the four others with me, strangely, especially Beverly and Deanna.
"Who are the skoits?" she whispers.
"Just some business acquaintancies."
Once we are in the office, Data begins to shuffle his feet a little and pulls his hand out of pocket suddenly.
"What are you doing, Data?"
"I am trying to enact my part; am I not what you call 'a missile'.?"
"Don't you mean 'torpedo'?" asks Geordi.
"Data." I say, "With your pale skin, you are a foreigner from abroad, probably a Frenchman."
Beverly says, 'These clothes ache, and these five inch stilettoes are impossible to walk in: however did women wear them?".
She falls on to the floor as she tries to walk.
Deanna agrees, "And these girdles are torture devices."
We get a call from Riker.
"Trouble, Captain; we're passing through a very strange cloud. I don't know whether you ought to know."
"You were wise to tell me, Number One, keep me informed."
There is a sudden flash everywhere, and the program carries on.
I try and get in contact with Riker, but can't.
"Computer. Cancel program."
Nothing happens.
That's the golden rule; never be in a holodeck program when passing through a cloud. Everyone knows what will happen.
Lola's voice comes through the intercom,
"Two men to see you, Mr Hill. They say they've got a score to settle."
I hear a shot and run outside. Lola is slumped over the desk, dead.
Two tough villains are there. One is a greasy sort with a trilby and striped suit. The other is extremely wide and looks the size of a truck. neither are the sort I would like to meet on a dark night.
"Time to meet your maker, Hill!" says the greasy one.
He shoots his gun and hits my shoulder. Blood trickles out.
I run into the office.
"The safety procedures are off in the program."
"The only thing we can do is let the program play through." says Geordi, "And try to stay alive!"
That's easy for him to say when it's me they want to fill full of lead with their gats.
I'm setting up the program to be my favourite detective from the 1940's, Dixon Hill, and giving him a case to solve.
I've invited Data, Geordi La Forge, Beverly and Deanna along as well, while Riker and Worf look after ther ship.
We're all dressed up; I've got my trenchcoat, Data & Geordi looks like gangsters, and Beverly and Deanna look like a couple of molls in their fishnet stockings.
I enter my office with the others to see my secretary. She is a dozy blonde who is polishing her nails.
"Any calls for me, Lola?"
"Errr, no, Dixon...I mean Mr Hill." she says in a squeakily high voice. She then looks at the four others with me, strangely, especially Beverly and Deanna.
"Who are the skoits?" she whispers.
"Just some business acquaintancies."
Once we are in the office, Data begins to shuffle his feet a little and pulls his hand out of pocket suddenly.
"What are you doing, Data?"
"I am trying to enact my part; am I not what you call 'a missile'.?"
"Don't you mean 'torpedo'?" asks Geordi.
"Data." I say, "With your pale skin, you are a foreigner from abroad, probably a Frenchman."
Beverly says, 'These clothes ache, and these five inch stilettoes are impossible to walk in: however did women wear them?".
She falls on to the floor as she tries to walk.
Deanna agrees, "And these girdles are torture devices."
We get a call from Riker.
"Trouble, Captain; we're passing through a very strange cloud. I don't know whether you ought to know."
"You were wise to tell me, Number One, keep me informed."
There is a sudden flash everywhere, and the program carries on.
I try and get in contact with Riker, but can't.
"Computer. Cancel program."
Nothing happens.
That's the golden rule; never be in a holodeck program when passing through a cloud. Everyone knows what will happen.
Lola's voice comes through the intercom,
"Two men to see you, Mr Hill. They say they've got a score to settle."
I hear a shot and run outside. Lola is slumped over the desk, dead.
Two tough villains are there. One is a greasy sort with a trilby and striped suit. The other is extremely wide and looks the size of a truck. neither are the sort I would like to meet on a dark night.
"Time to meet your maker, Hill!" says the greasy one.
He shoots his gun and hits my shoulder. Blood trickles out.
I run into the office.
"The safety procedures are off in the program."
"The only thing we can do is let the program play through." says Geordi, "And try to stay alive!"
That's easy for him to say when it's me they want to fill full of lead with their gats.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Borg Weekend Seminar
.Hello again.
Following last week's message, I am pleased to tell you how well we have done since then.
Two people have already volunteered to hand out pamphlets that will be headed 'Be A Borg Today' You'll be able to spot them with their trendy badges that say 'It's Cool To Be Assimilated.'
We've also had a couple asking about the 'Customised Numbers' program. 'Seven of Nine' appears to be very popular. Naturally, we can only take one of these designations in each Cube. Hurry now, before all vacancies are taken!
Naturally, there were one or two dissenting voices to my last message, but we won't we hearing from them again. I sent a couple of drones to pay them a visit. They soon changed their minds and are now enjoying a happy life on my own Borg Cube.
What I'm really excited to tell you is the launch of our Weekend Seminar!
We are inviting you to come and spend the weekend in one of our Cubes. You can bring the whole family, as there is a playgroup and bouncy castle for the children to play in while the parents talk to our representatives.
During the weekend, you'll get to know just how a Cube operates; you'll go round the entire Cube, including our Assimilation Chamber...we'll make sure you don't miss that!
It'll be a weekend you won't forget!
We had an enquiry about medical plans as a Borg. Rest assured, you pay absolutely nothing; all parts are replaced free should you suffer any injuries.
You will have your own regeneration chamber supplied completely free. When you talk to our representative, we'll show you a map of a Cube, and let YOU decide where you'd like your chamber to go!
Who else would do this?
When it comes to the time to go home after the Seminar, we'll be looking after you.
No need to worry about going back at all!
So tell you friends and family; bring them all along to the Seminar.
We're all one big happy family here.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
TWQ: Earliest Memories
The Weekend Question (TWQ) this week is asking you to think back a long way...
What are the earliest memories you can remember; where were you, and what were you doing?
Here is my answer:
The earliest memory I can recall is being taken up to the local town visiting my grandmother who lived nearby. At the time, the town still had a pre-war image, and hadn't changed too much from the early part of the 20th century. Though they were old, they were all thriving. In the route to the indoor market, I can recall survivors from the war in bathchairs. In 1974, the town was completely modernised, and all the old shops swept away. Now, the new shops have moved out, and there are just cheap tatty shops there. The town currently has one of the lowest qualities of life in the country.
Now it's over to you...
What are the earliest memories you can remember; where were you, and what were you doing?
Here is my answer:
The earliest memory I can recall is being taken up to the local town visiting my grandmother who lived nearby. At the time, the town still had a pre-war image, and hadn't changed too much from the early part of the 20th century. Though they were old, they were all thriving. In the route to the indoor market, I can recall survivors from the war in bathchairs. In 1974, the town was completely modernised, and all the old shops swept away. Now, the new shops have moved out, and there are just cheap tatty shops there. The town currently has one of the lowest qualities of life in the country.
Now it's over to you...
Thursday, July 21, 2005
The Enterprise Enquirer
I'm in my office right now, reading the latest issue of The Enterprise Enquirer. It's the scandal-full publication that circulates the ship.
Let's see what's in it this week:
'JLP 4 BC?' Rumours are around that JLP, an important member of the crew has a 'CRUSH' on BC. He can't get to know her enough because of her annoying son WC.
'WR's Secret Girl' It's strongly thought that WR has been enjoying secret assignations with DT whenever possible. What WR, who has an overwhelming ambition to have JLP's position doesn't know is that whenever he goes for a conference, DT spends a lot of time with W!
'GLF's Vacation' GLF, who had a recent vacation on Rigel IV, has been 'selling things' in the area where his hotel was. It was noted that his large suitcase had a lot of Latium on his return.
'D's Dress Code' One of the members of the crew, D has been dressing very oddly lately. He dresses in a 19th Century deerstalker hat, smokes a pipe and says "Elementary". His friend GLF joins him a lot; he may be dressing up just to humour him.
'Men beware..LT is around!' LT, an Ambassador for her home planet B, is using her role to hunt down for a new husband. She is the mother of DT, and once considered JLP as a prospective candidate. If the person she she's doesn't suit herself, she will introduce him to her daughter.
'JLP's Vacation With WC' It's been thought that JLP, who was forced to go on a boat vacation with WC tried to drill holes in WC's cabin! He later realised he was drilling into his own cabin and nearly flooded it out.
------------
Who wries these pieces in 'The Enterprise Enquirer?'
These are all lurid stories, that are completely untrue. Who are the paper referring to in their stories; they never say.
A group of initials will never help!
I guess I'll never know who the stories are talking about.
Let's see what's in it this week:
'JLP 4 BC?' Rumours are around that JLP, an important member of the crew has a 'CRUSH' on BC. He can't get to know her enough because of her annoying son WC.
'WR's Secret Girl' It's strongly thought that WR has been enjoying secret assignations with DT whenever possible. What WR, who has an overwhelming ambition to have JLP's position doesn't know is that whenever he goes for a conference, DT spends a lot of time with W!
'GLF's Vacation' GLF, who had a recent vacation on Rigel IV, has been 'selling things' in the area where his hotel was. It was noted that his large suitcase had a lot of Latium on his return.
'D's Dress Code' One of the members of the crew, D has been dressing very oddly lately. He dresses in a 19th Century deerstalker hat, smokes a pipe and says "Elementary". His friend GLF joins him a lot; he may be dressing up just to humour him.
'Men beware..LT is around!' LT, an Ambassador for her home planet B, is using her role to hunt down for a new husband. She is the mother of DT, and once considered JLP as a prospective candidate. If the person she she's doesn't suit herself, she will introduce him to her daughter.
'JLP's Vacation With WC' It's been thought that JLP, who was forced to go on a boat vacation with WC tried to drill holes in WC's cabin! He later realised he was drilling into his own cabin and nearly flooded it out.
------------
Who wries these pieces in 'The Enterprise Enquirer?'
These are all lurid stories, that are completely untrue. Who are the paper referring to in their stories; they never say.
A group of initials will never help!
I guess I'll never know who the stories are talking about.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
A Day At The Office
There is a part of the Enterprise that few people know about; many members would deny it even exists.
Down near the very depths of the ship, where no one goes, is the office.
It is said that sad, lonely souls, with no future, inhabit this area.
To fulfil my role as Captain, today I'm going to visit the office unannounced. It's the one place on the Enterprise I've never seen, so let's see it.
The door eventually opens and I walk into a wall of smoke. People are sitting at their desks; all have a persistant cough.
They walk around silently with their heads down, their faces despaired.
The smoke comes Cyrelian tobacco, which all staff in the office smoke as a result of trying to fend off the boredom. and intense stress.
In each section, workmates are trying to gain favour by doing errands for the boss who just reads, with their feet up.
Over at the copier room, an ancient 20th century photocopier coughs away, spewing letters with a stain. the level of radiation coming from it is 100 times permitted levels.
The Stationary Supplies Room door opens; a man and woman emerge, adjust their clothing, have a slight giggle and return to their desks.
I go over to one Departmental Head.
"Who are you?" he asks, then coughs.
"I'm the Captain of the Enterprise!" I say in amazement, "Don't you know me?"
"Never had reason to. cough, No one tells us anything down here. We just got put on here when the Enterprise was built, moved the equipment on, and that's the last we heard of anybody."
"Where was the equipment before?" I ask.
"Different starships. Cough. It was once on Captain Kirk's ship."
"Just how far back does this 'equipment moving' go?"
He thinks for a while, coughs and says, "Err...it must be around 1982."
"This all needs to be cleaned out and new equipment put in, so that you can work in a better environment." I dec;lare.
The Departmental Head looks shocked.
"Please don't do that, Captain, I beg of you. Cough. We are happy here, and would never get used to 24th Century technology. Let us stay the way we are."
I reluctantly agree and make my way out.
That's one part of the ship I don't want to see again. It can remain hidden from the world.
As I walk out of the door, I hear coughing behind me, and walk out again into pure air.
Down near the very depths of the ship, where no one goes, is the office.
It is said that sad, lonely souls, with no future, inhabit this area.
To fulfil my role as Captain, today I'm going to visit the office unannounced. It's the one place on the Enterprise I've never seen, so let's see it.
The door eventually opens and I walk into a wall of smoke. People are sitting at their desks; all have a persistant cough.
They walk around silently with their heads down, their faces despaired.
The smoke comes Cyrelian tobacco, which all staff in the office smoke as a result of trying to fend off the boredom. and intense stress.
In each section, workmates are trying to gain favour by doing errands for the boss who just reads, with their feet up.
Over at the copier room, an ancient 20th century photocopier coughs away, spewing letters with a stain. the level of radiation coming from it is 100 times permitted levels.
The Stationary Supplies Room door opens; a man and woman emerge, adjust their clothing, have a slight giggle and return to their desks.
I go over to one Departmental Head.
"Who are you?" he asks, then coughs.
"I'm the Captain of the Enterprise!" I say in amazement, "Don't you know me?"
"Never had reason to. cough, No one tells us anything down here. We just got put on here when the Enterprise was built, moved the equipment on, and that's the last we heard of anybody."
"Where was the equipment before?" I ask.
"Different starships. Cough. It was once on Captain Kirk's ship."
"Just how far back does this 'equipment moving' go?"
He thinks for a while, coughs and says, "Err...it must be around 1982."
"This all needs to be cleaned out and new equipment put in, so that you can work in a better environment." I dec;lare.
The Departmental Head looks shocked.
"Please don't do that, Captain, I beg of you. Cough. We are happy here, and would never get used to 24th Century technology. Let us stay the way we are."
I reluctantly agree and make my way out.
That's one part of the ship I don't want to see again. It can remain hidden from the world.
As I walk out of the door, I hear coughing behind me, and walk out again into pure air.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Borg Recruitment Notice
.Hello.
I'm sorry to interrupt your usual reading, but we have installed this special recruiting message in all journals.
Have you ever thought of joining the Borg?
Yes, I know we've had a bad press, and our invasion of Earth and the battle of Wolf 359 was rather hasty.
We're just asking for a chance to put our past problems behind us, wipe the slate clean and start again.
Here are all the wonderful advantages you will receive as a new drone on a Borg Cube.
FREE cybernetic implants!
FREE assimilation!
Your own customised choice of designation within a specified group. If you want to be Sixteen Of 25, it's yours!
You have the chance to fly in an advanced state-of-the-art Borg Cube with transwarp technology. Far superior than anything else around today.
If you are a member of a race we haven't assimilated before, then you get extra-special VIP treatment. You will be looked after especially by myself, so we can 'get to know you'.
If you are on your own, think of all the friends you'll be making! Millions of voices all in the Collective waiting to meet you and be part of them. Where else can you get such universal friendship?
There have been a few troublemakers around; we need your help to get them out of the way so we can enjoy Borg dominat...I mean harmony. Species 8472 will not be friends with us.
Can you help us wipe them out?
Don't dismiss this lightly. Think about it. Talk to your family and ask them to come along. We do a special 'family assimilation' session. Lots of fun for all!
Thank you for your time and patience; if after this, you're still not quite sure, just remember the company motto.
Resistance Is Futile.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)